Good Morning,
I usually post on the PP board, but I need some advice...
Not me, my daughter (25y.o.) last night for the second time...I am literally sick to my stomach...She has twin daughters 18months old...She has issues in her realtionship with her b/f their father (lives with him) She lost her license one time already and gone to classes and paid fines...I have had many heart to heart talks with her re: drinking and driving, my drug abuse, alchol abuse (runs in the family)...She just called and told my husband she was arrested by the State Police last night and spent time in the cooler...I want to go see her (she knows I am angry)...I want to tell her how lucky she is that the cops did bust her before she killed herself or someone else...How she is a mother and the twins need her alive and SOBER!!! I want to take her to a meeting!
I don't want to overwhelm her this instant (she is crying and running around after the babies right now) I want to go over there and be a loving Mom, but I don't want to blow sunshine up her butt either...
HELP...What do I say, What do I do???...I feel sick :(
Any help for me?
Jan
Hey Jan the only help i can offer is that you keep your meetings up, because untill she hits rock bottom addiction will just keep dragging her back in. And the authorities or someone else will solve the problem of the kids if they see she is an unfit mum. She will be upset with herself but only cause she got caught, and all the grief/guilt it brings down on her. Until she wants to change for herself you can only sit and watch and pray that her rock bottom comes soon and that no one is hurt as a result of it, the kids especially.
If you go to meetings have a yarn with the people you know and trust and maybe some sort of plan can be sorted out to keep the kids safe, or maybe an intervention of all involved explaining to her the consequences of further trouble?
I'm sorry if i haven't helped and hopefully there will be some more posts with more ideas.
Light and love Zac
If you go to meetings have a yarn with the people you know and trust and maybe some sort of plan can be sorted out to keep the kids safe, or maybe an intervention of all involved explaining to her the consequences of further trouble?
I'm sorry if i haven't helped and hopefully there will be some more posts with more ideas.
Light and love Zac
Hi Jan
I am alcoholic and I am married with 3 daughters 30, 27, 25 and a son 20.My wife is not alcoholic but theres a good chance my 25 year old daughter is and all have been affected one way or another by my disease.
I am a sober member of AA and have been since Aug 27, 1991 and the hardest place for we to work my program has been in my own home. With the ones I love and have hurt the most. My youngest daughter Lauren has been charged twice with drink driving offences and we where very lucky not to have lost her the last time she completely totalled her car and is very blessed to be here.
My wife has said on many occasions why cant you help Lauren and I have to say because she wont listen .All I can do is be an example and take care of my sobriety and if she ever wants help she has someone to come to and knows there is a place to go to like AA because it worked for her father.
And Zac summed it up pretty good and until your daughter reaches a rock bottom she will keep doing the things shes always done and you need to look after you.
You can suggest your daughter ring AA. And speak to someone and if she would like to go to a meeting you will support her.
You might go to AA and get some literature and leave it where it will be found. Woman in AA is a good little pamphlet.
You could also ring Al-Anon and talk to them about your daughter. Al-anon is for relatives or partners of alcoholics. And may be able to help you.
Jan I wish I could do more but I will prayer for your daughter and you. Hopefully there will be a few more suggestions but please come in and post again and let us know how things are going.
God Bless..
Lionel
I am alcoholic and I am married with 3 daughters 30, 27, 25 and a son 20.My wife is not alcoholic but theres a good chance my 25 year old daughter is and all have been affected one way or another by my disease.
I am a sober member of AA and have been since Aug 27, 1991 and the hardest place for we to work my program has been in my own home. With the ones I love and have hurt the most. My youngest daughter Lauren has been charged twice with drink driving offences and we where very lucky not to have lost her the last time she completely totalled her car and is very blessed to be here.
My wife has said on many occasions why cant you help Lauren and I have to say because she wont listen .All I can do is be an example and take care of my sobriety and if she ever wants help she has someone to come to and knows there is a place to go to like AA because it worked for her father.
And Zac summed it up pretty good and until your daughter reaches a rock bottom she will keep doing the things shes always done and you need to look after you.
You can suggest your daughter ring AA. And speak to someone and if she would like to go to a meeting you will support her.
You might go to AA and get some literature and leave it where it will be found. Woman in AA is a good little pamphlet.
You could also ring Al-Anon and talk to them about your daughter. Al-anon is for relatives or partners of alcoholics. And may be able to help you.
Jan I wish I could do more but I will prayer for your daughter and you. Hopefully there will be a few more suggestions but please come in and post again and let us know how things are going.
God Bless..
Lionel
Lilypad, I can't say anything more than what has been posted by these two fine gentlemen who are strong in their Program and their recovery. Your daughter has got to want it...bottom line...I've got one out there too, conducting her own research and development out there...so I'm saving a seat for her in AA, and she has attended meetings with me, so the seed is planted...good to luck to you and your family.
Hi Lilypad
sorry for your suffering. It would be OK to take her to a meeting if she wanted to go I think.
I had a similar situation with my husband recently, DUI couple of months ago and big gambling debt (fuelled by drinking) just now. I have asked him to go to a few AA meetings with an open mind to just listen. I haven't asked for anything else, or put any other expectations on him. Just to go, open mind and listen. All I can do is sew the seed.
Just be sure you don't enable HER. You may need to do things to help your grandkids but don't enable her by bailing her out of this situation. Best thing can happen is she has to face consequences.
I am a newly recovering alcoholic myself and I know how hard it is, but boy the rewards are so worth it. I hope your daughter has hit her bottom and gets help.
Don't forget to maintain your own program through this difficult time Lilypad.
yours in recovery
Idgie
sorry for your suffering. It would be OK to take her to a meeting if she wanted to go I think.
I had a similar situation with my husband recently, DUI couple of months ago and big gambling debt (fuelled by drinking) just now. I have asked him to go to a few AA meetings with an open mind to just listen. I haven't asked for anything else, or put any other expectations on him. Just to go, open mind and listen. All I can do is sew the seed.
Just be sure you don't enable HER. You may need to do things to help your grandkids but don't enable her by bailing her out of this situation. Best thing can happen is she has to face consequences.
I am a newly recovering alcoholic myself and I know how hard it is, but boy the rewards are so worth it. I hope your daughter has hit her bottom and gets help.
Don't forget to maintain your own program through this difficult time Lilypad.
yours in recovery
Idgie
