Butterfly,
Saw you posted in another thread about having two full days, didn't want it to get lost....CONGRATULATIONS!!! Keep up the great work, and keep on flushing -- the worst will be over before you know it.
butterfly
congradulations, I hope to some day be just like you. Your doing great.
congradulations, I hope to some day be just like you. Your doing great.
hey ya'll thanks i'm feeling much better. I'm waking up better than i was,so first thing in the morning it's a good affrimation not to go get pills. i really feel for those that have been doing vics everyday for years and then go to stop. the w/d are hell i bet. God answered my prayers i know cuz i had worse w/d then this the last time i stop using. this time around i only used for a month & half straight and would get 6or 7 everyother day sometimes go a week. thinking i could munipulate this drug the way it did me!!!ha don't think so. this last time i went further than i ever have I hooked up w/ my dealer , he took me to a couple of Drs in Houston, i thought i was in hog heaven. i had 120 vics each scripe , which only lasted a week in ahalf each. my husband didn't even know i had them. i know he was wondering why i was throwing up.I was taking way tooo many!!!!! one is toooooooo many Jolene
Butterfly I am happy to hear you feel better And EVEN happier to hear you say 1 pill is too many.Im glad you know that.Alot of us think AWWW we can take just one.I dont think that is possable for me.I dont know too many addicts who can just take 1.So Im very gladto see you realize that.Keep it up...mj
Jolene..you are a miracle. First because you're 2 days clean and second because you're not dead. Geeze girl! I thought I was bad..holy crap. Isn't it amazing how our little bodies can handle all of that crap? Unfortunatly, they can't go like that forever. Eventually, the body poops out and then just simply dies. I'm so glad you're here.
What kind of support do you have? Hate to tell you this, but the worse is yet to come and you need help. As a wise women on this board tells us (Hiya Sam) we don't have to do this alone. We get to ask for help.
Keep in touch kiddo.
xxx
Cowgirl
What kind of support do you have? Hate to tell you this, but the worse is yet to come and you need help. As a wise women on this board tells us (Hiya Sam) we don't have to do this alone. We get to ask for help.
Keep in touch kiddo.
xxx
Cowgirl
Butterfly.......Let me assure you that being on vics for years and trying to stop is hell. At the end of my stint I was taking 150 mg and had been on them or something similar for 8 years. The hardest part though, is staying quit. Find you a support system, burn your bridges. If you have some place to get pills today, you need to get rid of that contact. Get help and remove all the temptations that you can......Good luck on day 3. You will make it!
Hey Butterfly,
glad you are feeling better, you sound like a tough cookie there. I can relate to what you said about manipulating pills, the many times I quit before and picked up again, I always thought I could just take a little bit, recreational use I used to call it. Well, I found out the hard way that doesn't work.
Please try to find outside help as well, I just came back from my counselor and had one of my best sessions yet, we dug deep today. In the past, all the times that I quit I never had face time with someone, and it really is the difference this time around.
Taake care, I enjoyed our chat yesterday
Redd
glad you are feeling better, you sound like a tough cookie there. I can relate to what you said about manipulating pills, the many times I quit before and picked up again, I always thought I could just take a little bit, recreational use I used to call it. Well, I found out the hard way that doesn't work.
Please try to find outside help as well, I just came back from my counselor and had one of my best sessions yet, we dug deep today. In the past, all the times that I quit I never had face time with someone, and it really is the difference this time around.
Taake care, I enjoyed our chat yesterday
Redd
Cowgirl, I've been thinking about NA meetings & i've been looking into talking to a counceler,cuz gal you have no idea the lengths i went to for the addiction.things i need to let out.i know this! 3yrs of sceming and plotting & getting what i wanted!!! God knows..... the double life i led....& i feel his mercy.. it's messing w/ me though. i've seen a lot of others around me go though their addictions tooo. my step father 2yrs ago died from alcohol.he asprirated after passing out. he was a recovering alcoholic. he's the one that told me addiction can only lead to insaneisalom, penitinctary or dealth. he had went to treatment had been to jail{not prison} then death.. everyone needs to think about that. My mother met my step dad through treatment after losing my father and i. she lost everything i mean everything!!!! I even had 2 beautiful childern w/ an addict. a pill addict. he lost everything. i know he's living w/ guilt of me getting into using to add to all his other guilt.thats going to make it easier to use,i know him. anyway, i 'm rambling. i just know there's no way i'm losing the blessings i have. Jolene
First of all i'm greatful for ya'll . ya'll are keeping me here and clean.{not to mention i've locked myself in the house these last couple of days} hehe
i went to get my check thats about it. and even then brought Shane w/ me to hand over to him. i've had some phone calls from people i bought from i just told them what i was doing.one told me " oh you don't need to stop , you just need more pills." the tone & everything just made it all the more like "i'm f****ing doing this.+ this person makes me sick to so. i'm going to make it with my all. when i do get back to normal{ what ever that is} i'm going to plant flower thoughts in my head& and remember where i'm at! Jolene
i went to get my check thats about it. and even then brought Shane w/ me to hand over to him. i've had some phone calls from people i bought from i just told them what i was doing.one told me " oh you don't need to stop , you just need more pills." the tone & everything just made it all the more like "i'm f****ing doing this.+ this person makes me sick to so. i'm going to make it with my all. when i do get back to normal{ what ever that is} i'm going to plant flower thoughts in my head& and remember where i'm at! Jolene
You wrote to Cowgirl: "cuz gal you have no idea the lengths i went to for the addiction.things i need to let out.i know this! 3yrs of screaming and plotting & getting what i wanted!!! God knows..... the double life i led."
You're not alone in that, butterfly. I led a double life also, and I'd wager any amount of money that there's nothing you did to get pills that someone on this Board hasn't done, and more. But your instinct is right -- we do need to get honest with someone, and let go of some of that baggage. I sometimes think I'm the poster boy for the saying "You're as sick as your secrets," but we all are in a way -- at least when we first start down the road to recovery. Getting a counselor/psychiatrist that specializes in addiction is a great idea. I started seeing a counselor 9 months ago, in addition to AA mtgs., and it has helped a lot. With your family history, you know better than most that the mental part of this addiction kills....why not pull out all the stops from the get go? Screeen for success. Glad you're here -- you've already got some good women in your corner on the Board.
You're not alone in that, butterfly. I led a double life also, and I'd wager any amount of money that there's nothing you did to get pills that someone on this Board hasn't done, and more. But your instinct is right -- we do need to get honest with someone, and let go of some of that baggage. I sometimes think I'm the poster boy for the saying "You're as sick as your secrets," but we all are in a way -- at least when we first start down the road to recovery. Getting a counselor/psychiatrist that specializes in addiction is a great idea. I started seeing a counselor 9 months ago, in addition to AA mtgs., and it has helped a lot. With your family history, you know better than most that the mental part of this addiction kills....why not pull out all the stops from the get go? Screeen for success. Glad you're here -- you've already got some good women in your corner on the Board.
Butterfly......came over from the other thread to meet you. something came up and I have to run out for a few. Hang on girl! I'll be back in a few minutes!
i was glad to see ya'll writing to me a was in a heartfelt share my thoughts mood.had alot to say earlier.
SO SORRY>>>>>>>kids! they never quit! I am back and ready to get down with you. How's it going today? Share your soul with me now.
let me put a movie in for little girl .be back
okay i was just babbling in this thread earlier, wanting somone to listen. you wrote me too. thanks k i'll call this the babbling stage.we really need to warn others of this stage... hehe
Babble on......day 3, huh? Some say day 3 is the worst. The meds are all out of your system as of today. It's uphill from here!
what do you mean? uphill
So, did you get all the OTC stuff ,,,,,,benadryl, B12, comtrex, etc... All of that really helps with the symptoms.
I just moved a thread to the top of the list entitled I STOPPED VICS TODAY.
This is a 30 day journal written by a guy on here while he was going through withdrawal. He has several months clean now. It is really inspiring, if you have the time to read it, i think it would help you!
I meant that if day #3 is the worst, they will get a little better each day from now on. Personally, I do not remember if it was the worst or not. Seems like the entire first week was pretty bad. But not as bad as I had expected.
yeah i'm using the otc meds & living by it. it's help alot. okay i'm going to the other thread now
