Cajungirl, how did it go? I've been thinking of you this weekend, I hope he moved out finally without a fight! I've been keeping you in my prayers!
So have I. Please let us know.
Sorry I haven't written back over the weekend. It has been something else! First of all, we went to get the truck turned over into his name. We went to the courthouse and got the paperwork so he could then sign it over to a title pawn company. Then I followed him over to the title pawn and went in with him. I told them I didn't want my address or phone number on the forms, and he didn't have a new address to give them. I told them he was moving out - so, I messed up the title pawn. I wished I hadn't done that - just didn't want them pestering me if he didn't pay it back. After that, he went to another title pawn place, but the paperwork has to be changed again to that place at the courthouse, and it was too late to go back, so he didn't get any money and didn't leave. I was SO upset. I went to my cousin's house and stayed there until late Friday nite. Saturday, my cousin and I went to Nashville and spent the nite because I just needed to get away and she knew it. Sunday, after I got back, he stole $20 out of my purse and went and got high. Today, he says he is going to call for help at a Psychiatric unit here. I told him I hoped he got clean, but he couldn't stay with me. We are going again this afternoon to the courthouse and getting the money at the title pawn. I don't care if they put my address or phone number on it, just so he leaves today. He says he is. He also says he is going to get my stuff out of the pawn shop. Well see... I will let you know tonite what happened. Thanks so much for caring and understanding. You don't realize how much you have helped me through all this. How are you doing Kittycat?
Your determination to change your situation is very inspiring. I know it's tough, but you are going to make it. Sounds like you have good support from your cousin.
Cajungirl, I'm fine thanks. I saw him for only a little while this weekend but at least he stayed clean. This weekend he gets paid so we'll see how clean he stays.
Well I hope it works out for you today, I hope he finally moves out. At least you got to get away for the most part.
I went out with friends this weekend too, bowling and shopping. It was nice to get away for awhile but I realized one thing, even though he's my boyfriend, I still feel lonely. When I went bowling I went with my friend and her boyfriend and I was a little envious that they have a "normal" relationship, theres no substance abuse problems or anything that they have to deal with. They can go out bowling, etc together and have fun. I can't bring my boyfriend around my friends, no one likes him.
Let us know Cajungirl, what happens! Good luck!
Well I hope it works out for you today, I hope he finally moves out. At least you got to get away for the most part.
I went out with friends this weekend too, bowling and shopping. It was nice to get away for awhile but I realized one thing, even though he's my boyfriend, I still feel lonely. When I went bowling I went with my friend and her boyfriend and I was a little envious that they have a "normal" relationship, theres no substance abuse problems or anything that they have to deal with. They can go out bowling, etc together and have fun. I can't bring my boyfriend around my friends, no one likes him.
Let us know Cajungirl, what happens! Good luck!
Dear Cajun Girl, Stay at it! Hold him accountable. Look to others around you to replenish your strength. I admire you, you haven't thrown in the towel! d
Hello Dora, Kittycat and Bob B. - the latest is we went to the courthouse, got the title changed over, I followed him to the title loan place and he pawned the truck, then he gave me $70 he owed me (after I asked for it), then he got back my drill, sawzaw, guitar and chain saw from various pawn shops. The last time I saw him was at the last pawn shop. I asked him if he was coming back to get his stuff and why wasn't he getting my other stuff out of pawn (the saw, grinder, and sander). I have all this stuff because we were remodelling a house last year and bought a lot of tools. Anyway, he said he didn't have enough money to get the rest out because he owed somebody some money. I asked him if it was a drug dealer and he said no - yeah, well - anyway, he said that if he didn't come home to throw his stuff outside... probably going to do that in a little while.
Dear Cajun Girl, I am happy to hear that you got your stuff back, well at most of it. I know this must be really hard for you and am at a bit of a loss for words. Though hold tight, call a friend, or someone who can help you stay focussed. We're thinking of you. D
Thanks, Dora. All his stuff, what little there is, is outside right now. I have to admit I guess I am self medicating... listening to House of the Rising Sun and drinking a six pack... Gee, why is life so hard sometimes?? I am going to make it better though - I WILL.
Dear Cajun Girl, You've made alot of brave steps, though I am sure as you said it is not over. I can undesrtand that you've had the week end from hell or day, though please continue to take care of yourself! p.s. save some of those brewskies for another night!!!!!!! Get a good night sleep! D
Cajungirl, how are you doing today? Did he pick up the rest of his stuff? It feels good when they finally get EVERYTHING out doesn't it? I'm glad you got your stuff back. Seems like this addiction problem is EVERYWHERE! Found out my brothers girlfriend is addicted to meth, another friend of mine just got back from holidays to find out his roommate pawned off all his stuff for cocaine...my neighbor broke up with her boyfriend who is a crack addict..whats going on???
cajungirl, i just wanted to stop for a moment and say thanks for sharing part of your life and your decisions with us. you have made some very hard choices.
Good morning Kittycat, Dora, and Bob B. Thanks so much for your support. It has really helped me alot. I read your detachment posts, Bob and they really help me feel better. I feel like I am detaching emotionally and it feels real good. I didn't really "throw" his stuff outside last nite, I set it outside. He didn't come home all nite and this morning I heard him in the house. It was time for him to be at work and he got his work clothes on and left - but, he was going to be late for work. I asked him what he was going to do with the stuff outside and he said he was just going to leave it there for now. So, it is all outside my house. It is a little embarrassing now because my neighbors can see it in the daylight, but I left it there. Maybe it won't rain on it! I put his stuff outside because last nite he said that if he didn't come back to get his stuff in a little while, to put it outside, so I did. It was not really done in anger, although I realize I did sound angry last nite. I told him I didn't hate him or wish him any harm. I said I hated what the drugs were doing to him and I hoped he got help. Maybe he will get his stuff up sometime today. Kittycat, it seems like the whole world is on drugs sometimes. I talked to an old friend who caught me up on some of the gang we used to hang out with 20 years ago and a lot of them are very sick or dying of liver problems from Hepatitis C. How sad! I am glad I got away from them a long time ago. But, there are nice people out there that don't do drugs or have bad habits. Maybe, one day, we will feel justified in allowing one of them into our life!
I agree Cajungirl, hopefully we will find someone drug free. I got a little worried for a while, my best friend was experimenting with crack but that was all, she didn't try it again. Found out another friend is a crack addict. Another girl I know is addicted to Meth, she even used during her pregnancy, I'm surprised the baby is healthy, and the dad is a hardcore meth addict, he can't function without it, he does it everyday.
Are you going to get your locks changed? I would..I wouldn't want a drug addict having access to my place. After I kicked my boyfriend out I had my locks changed, thank God my brother in law is a locksmith.
I actually had a bad experience with crackheads two months ago. My neighbor was going to stop by and I heard a knock on my door and opened it. There were two girls there who barged into my place, claiming I had "ordered" some pot. I said no, but they just sat down and started smoking crack in my place! I'd never seen them before and I could tell they were drunk and I was afraid. One grabbed my phone so I couldn't call the police, the other put on one of my outfits and she stole my cell phone and some jewellery that I didn't notice till afterwards. She tried to get away with an expensive leather jacket but by then she was in my hallway and I caused a commotion, my neighbor came out and forced her to give back my jacket and they took off. I phoned the police, and my neighbor said they tried the same thing at his apartment as well. They got caught later for an unrelated crime and I got my cell phone back from a dealer who turned it back in to me for $20. It was a scary experience but now I realize drug addicts will do just about anything and I will never open my door again without looking first to see whose there.
Are you going to get your locks changed? I would..I wouldn't want a drug addict having access to my place. After I kicked my boyfriend out I had my locks changed, thank God my brother in law is a locksmith.
I actually had a bad experience with crackheads two months ago. My neighbor was going to stop by and I heard a knock on my door and opened it. There were two girls there who barged into my place, claiming I had "ordered" some pot. I said no, but they just sat down and started smoking crack in my place! I'd never seen them before and I could tell they were drunk and I was afraid. One grabbed my phone so I couldn't call the police, the other put on one of my outfits and she stole my cell phone and some jewellery that I didn't notice till afterwards. She tried to get away with an expensive leather jacket but by then she was in my hallway and I caused a commotion, my neighbor came out and forced her to give back my jacket and they took off. I phoned the police, and my neighbor said they tried the same thing at his apartment as well. They got caught later for an unrelated crime and I got my cell phone back from a dealer who turned it back in to me for $20. It was a scary experience but now I realize drug addicts will do just about anything and I will never open my door again without looking first to see whose there.
Wow Kittycat! That was a scary experience. What happened this morning is my son left for school and I didn't lock the door back after he left. I live in a small town and feel pretty safe here most of the time. The police even make fun of themselves like our town is Mayberry and they are Andy and Barney - don't know if you remember the Andy Griffith show, but my bf doesn't have a key anymore - I took it away long ago. Just need to remember to keep the door locked at all times now. I really do care what happens to him, but I am not going to let him know that for now, because if he thinks I am giving him a little room - he will instantly get the wrong idea and try manipulating me to get what he wants (money, stuff, or anything he can get for drugs). He is real bad right now and spiraling out of control. He knows it - I know there's nothing I can do about it, nor do I want to. If he gets help, it will be because he wants to and I don't know if I can shut the door on our relationship completely. I would like to be able to support him if he goes into recovery, it's just I've been through this already with him at least four times, so this time I think I'll stay away. How sad. I HATE this drug and what it does to people!
a very experienced substance abuse counsellor (who is also a recovering acoholic/addict) advised me in no uncertain terms to change the locks on our doors.
Dear CajunGirl, What strentgh you have!!!!!!! I am glad that you didn't throw his stuff out, and left it placed where it was. Good going! When my late bf and I split for those couple months, I also got the key back. You seem to know this roller coaster well and know that it may not be over although you have done an amazing job at your ground, that takes alot of courage. Geusse I agree with those who encourage you to change your locks!!!! Leave notes up near your doors as reminders to lock all doors, I would hate to hear that you place is robbed after your persistence and courage got you some of your tools back, which I know are not cheap. Keep it up! D
