Can One Event Stop An Addiction

My husband is a crack addict i have known for about 7 months now. he has a $500 a day habit, i have tried everything to get him to quit taking over the bank accounts, following him like a lost puppy, getting up early hours of the morning doing car searches, going threw his wallet the whole nine yards. i always find something even found the crack once. he has gotten quit dumb with this addiction i would think he would find better hiding places. none of this matters though because he finds a way to get the money pawn shops, payday loans, hiding paychecks (he is self employed). he spends more time in the bathroom in one day than he does at work all week . i want to leave so bad i have saved money since i found out i have enough to live comfortably for a while but i cant bring myself to leave we have 3 kids together 13, 3, and 1 week. i have spoken with a lawyer thinking maybe if i had divorce papers drawn up it would scare him and he would quit using, but then this is the same man who just one week ago basically ran out of the hospital immediatly after his daughter was born to smoke crack at the hospital. i have heard a thousand times ill quit but it never happens i home drug test him every 3 days and he never dissapoints me he has never had one come up negative. so why do i stay knowing what i know? i have looked everywhere for support group in this area but with no luck. there is plenty help for him, but seems no where for me to fix what this has done to me. my dr thinks i have post-partum depression but i cant bring myself to tell her that it is my husbands addiction that is depressing me and that started long before the baby got here. when will the day come this nightmare is over?
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Good Morning! First of all, I am no way an expert on this, but I am going through what all of on this board are going through. Loving and addict. If I have said it once, I have said it a million times. KIDS first!! to answer your question- no leaving him is not going to make him quit. If it would, there would be alot of people leave their loved one that is addicted- just to help them. Don't teach your kids that it is okay to use. Don't teach them that it is okay to be disrespectful. If you have the money- do something. Get help for you- if I have learned anything from being here, it is that you are powerless. You can do nothing. THEY have to do something first. And if they choose to keep using, no matter how many fits you throw, or threats you give, they will keep using. I forget who said it on here, but they said, "the addict doesn't love you- they love the drug. And they will use you or anyone else they can to get to that drug." Look up a topic called "advice I've been given" Jan wrote it. I can't tell you how some of those things rang true. Keep your chin up. And good luck. And remember.. tomorrow is another day! God Bless you!
Zelina
All I can add to what the other's have posted is this. When a person crosses of the line in to addiction the drug of choice whatever that may be becomes the primary relationship . That is what the professionals are telling us at the rehab. Everything, kids, spouses, siblings, father, mother I mean everything comes after the addiction. They are really sick people while they are in their addiction. It has nothing to do with you and there is not much you can do other than take care of yourself while they are in open addiction.

That is always hard to accept because most of us knew how they were before the drugs/alcohol took over their lives. We still hang on to the hope that the person we knew will return The hard fact is that person died and maybe after that enter a rehab and start recovery some of that person may return but not the whole person. They are changed forever, the person in recovry will be different but they may be in many ways better.

They will have to want to stop because going into recovery and maintaining the recovery is hard work and can only be successful if they want it to happen. You can support them and care about them while they are in recovery but thats about as much as you can do.

While they are in open addiction, there is little you can do but take care of yourself and not enable them in any form to continue the addiction..We all feel for what you are going through and we have all felt the pain and hopelessness of the situation. Say the Serenity Prayer when you get down and then go out and try to practice it. You will try and make progress and then fail but try again. We succeed through tyring, failing and trying again. Good luck and God Bless you.