I posted before wondering if my boyfriend is using again. I still don't know the answer to this but I have become obsessed with this whole situation. It consumes my mind. I'm getting tired of playing detective. Can anyone please explain how he feels when he's high and if there is anything I can look for. I swear I need counseling from this whole situation. I cannot get my work done. I research it all day online. It puts me in a terribe mood and then I get nasty to him when he really (I think) hasn't done anything.
Thank you
Hi, well my ex would clean excessively when he was hi. But after reading your post maybe counseling wouldn't be a bad thing. Sometimes you need to stop and just take a step back before you can really see what is going on. Take yourself out and examine with someone who is skilled at this.
My greatest step in "recovering" from this addiction was realizing that I COULDN'T control him or the addiction. After I gave up control I stopped investigating and started to sprend that energy on me.
I had to start ACTING and stop REACTING- WHAT A DIFFERENCE--
Good luck and God bless
My greatest step in "recovering" from this addiction was realizing that I COULDN'T control him or the addiction. After I gave up control I stopped investigating and started to sprend that energy on me.
I had to start ACTING and stop REACTING- WHAT A DIFFERENCE--
Good luck and God bless
keep it simple, it is not so much vital you find out for sure your lad is using, that you realise that you will never, repeat never be in control of what he does,thinks, or wants to do. You will only ever really have yourself to rely on, if he wants to use, GOD forgive me for this, let him. It is his choice today, it will be his tomorrow, and every day GOD sends us, tell him you will not accept his using, and he has a choice to make. Be advised, when you give this ultimatum, often times drugs are the choice, it is not a personal thing, GOD forbid it ecer got personal, he is not in control, drugs are. GOD bless you and give you the strength you will need.
Thank you both for responding to me. I promised myself that I would not enter this website or any other website regarding this matter for the whole day. But, you see, I've only been at work for 1 hour and I'm already here. I don't have anyone else to talk to about this situation so again I want to say thank you for responding.
I know I am not ready to leave yet. If he is using it's not obvious and hasn't taken control of his life, YET. But I have my beautiful little boy to take care of. I thought that when you use heroin you become very tired?
I worry that my son will use when he is older. See when I was growing up my parents didn't discuss using drugs that much. I just remember hearing in elementary school that once you try, you're addicted. WEll this stuck in my head and I never tried drugs. Except for marijuana, when I was young. Friends would use and I would have nothing to do with them once I found out. But I lay in bed at night and obsess about my son using when he's older. He's only 6. I want to enjoy this time and not worry. But his grandparents from his father's side are users. So I'm afraid it's hereditary. Please excuse me if that's a stupid statement. I just don't know. I wish I could instill in my son what was somehow instilled in me.
My brother has been using heroin for probably 15 years now. We don't see him too much and I was never close with him because he's from my father's first marriage. Although, my father was always there for him. He doesn't come around too much because he's so messed up. I saw him last summer. He looked terrible. It was summer but he has on long sleeves. Assuming he needed to cover the track marks. His skin was gray and he looked sickly. A few days later he stole from a family friend and then left. I can't tell you how many times my father wrote checks to people that came to our house because my brother beat them for money. He was in jail for a while and when he came out he was dating the corrections officer from the prison he was at. Within a few weeks, he beat her for a few thousand. I can't tell you how much it hurts me that my wonderful father has a son like this. He doesn't deserve it. I definitely need counseling. If anyone is reading this still, sorry for rambling.
I know I am not ready to leave yet. If he is using it's not obvious and hasn't taken control of his life, YET. But I have my beautiful little boy to take care of. I thought that when you use heroin you become very tired?
I worry that my son will use when he is older. See when I was growing up my parents didn't discuss using drugs that much. I just remember hearing in elementary school that once you try, you're addicted. WEll this stuck in my head and I never tried drugs. Except for marijuana, when I was young. Friends would use and I would have nothing to do with them once I found out. But I lay in bed at night and obsess about my son using when he's older. He's only 6. I want to enjoy this time and not worry. But his grandparents from his father's side are users. So I'm afraid it's hereditary. Please excuse me if that's a stupid statement. I just don't know. I wish I could instill in my son what was somehow instilled in me.
My brother has been using heroin for probably 15 years now. We don't see him too much and I was never close with him because he's from my father's first marriage. Although, my father was always there for him. He doesn't come around too much because he's so messed up. I saw him last summer. He looked terrible. It was summer but he has on long sleeves. Assuming he needed to cover the track marks. His skin was gray and he looked sickly. A few days later he stole from a family friend and then left. I can't tell you how many times my father wrote checks to people that came to our house because my brother beat them for money. He was in jail for a while and when he came out he was dating the corrections officer from the prison he was at. Within a few weeks, he beat her for a few thousand. I can't tell you how much it hurts me that my wonderful father has a son like this. He doesn't deserve it. I definitely need counseling. If anyone is reading this still, sorry for rambling.
Heya Lena..
I just wanted to say that i completely understand your pain and obsession to trying to save your boyfriend, i share the same obsession and i think we really do need help but i've come to realise that no one can help me. You said that all you ever do is spend your time researching, gee.. it sounds so much like me. I would try to find out everything about it, which can be good in a way but bad because sometimes it can make you feel worse. That's what i do and i keep doing it, i know how hard and frustrating it is, believe me and even now, i'm still in this mess. Ever since i found out about this forum all i ever do is go on it every night. It does help me vent a little, knowing that there are others out there in my situation. I share this burden every single day and it's consumed me too, it's all that i think about and i fukn hate it. It's like a never-ending heartbreaking cycle, it wears me out... i'm so tired. I just wish i could wake up from this nightmare.
Well.. hope all goes well and goodluck with everything and remember...
you are not alone..
I just wanted to say that i completely understand your pain and obsession to trying to save your boyfriend, i share the same obsession and i think we really do need help but i've come to realise that no one can help me. You said that all you ever do is spend your time researching, gee.. it sounds so much like me. I would try to find out everything about it, which can be good in a way but bad because sometimes it can make you feel worse. That's what i do and i keep doing it, i know how hard and frustrating it is, believe me and even now, i'm still in this mess. Ever since i found out about this forum all i ever do is go on it every night. It does help me vent a little, knowing that there are others out there in my situation. I share this burden every single day and it's consumed me too, it's all that i think about and i fukn hate it. It's like a never-ending heartbreaking cycle, it wears me out... i'm so tired. I just wish i could wake up from this nightmare.
Well.. hope all goes well and goodluck with everything and remember...
you are not alone..
I just wanted to each out to someone. My husband stopped using coke and noe is using heroin. I am in shock. I left because he was dealing and i was afraid of losing my kids. (They are from a previous marriage). Now i find out he's doing heroin. It scares me. When i asked him, he told me the truth. We were working things out and i was thinking of moving back in because he was done with the coke. Now i find this out. I don't trust him anymore. He says it's not that big a deal. I say if thats the case then stop using. His response is "I'm 42 years old. Do i have to give up everything because you don't like it?' I said No, only if you want me in your life. Am i right?
Hi Lena,
Some signs to look for to see if your b/f is high are:
His pupils are small
It seems like he is very hyper... can't slow down or cleans a lot.
Drinks a lot of water
Doesn't eat a lot
Nausea.. or throwing up
Dry mouth
Dry eyes
Constipation
slurred speech
At times he could be very hyper and a while later, he could look very tired.
Losing weight
Can't sleep at night
Hope that helps!
Some signs to look for to see if your b/f is high are:
His pupils are small
It seems like he is very hyper... can't slow down or cleans a lot.
Drinks a lot of water
Doesn't eat a lot
Nausea.. or throwing up
Dry mouth
Dry eyes
Constipation
slurred speech
At times he could be very hyper and a while later, he could look very tired.
Losing weight
Can't sleep at night
Hope that helps!
when i was with my ex i was always looking for signs that he was using again, even the smallest thing wouls start me off again. i found out in the end he was but i still didnt want to believe it. i no how hard it must be for you and he should be able to tell you if he cares for you that much. good luck in finding out and for the future if he is using, kaci.
Lena,
When you have a chance please email me... I am going through the same thing you are going through and maybe we can help each other....
thank you brandi
bshum21@aol.com
When you have a chance please email me... I am going through the same thing you are going through and maybe we can help each other....
thank you brandi
bshum21@aol.com
well if its smack that you think he is taking then his pupils will be tiny and his eyes will be red underneath
also when he talks he will slurr his words slightly
You can tell straightaway if someone is taking smack
also when he talks he will slurr his words slightly
You can tell straightaway if someone is taking smack
helen, i hope this reaches you. please, if not more than just for the sake of your children, get very far away from this man. he obviously has an extremely addictive personality and for him to go from coke to heroin is like going from pergutory to the deepest pits of hell....by choice!! and he has no desire whatsoever to quit. he will endanger your family in so many ways..i can't even begin to tell you how badly this is going to end up.please helen...go go go!!!