well iv not postrd for sometime no, but things are getting realy bade for me, iv done some realy stuped stuff to get the drug and im full of shame and gult, im loking myself in the house for the next few days becuse i can,t trust myself, one good thing my husben and i are talking, again, its harder to do this on my own, i need support writ now, going throu withdruls is hard but must be done, in the last year iv stuped vary low to get the drug i don,t now myself enymoer, and im having a hard time making eny desions, how did i let this happen to me. thanks karen.ps happy thanks giving we already had ouers in canada.
Oh fitzy,,,,we've all done some stupid things. I know I have. I've also stooped pretty low and really have a hard time believing some of the things I did in the past but you know what???? You can't change the past. Whats done is done but you do have control of today and the future. There are a lot of us here that have turned our life around and you can too. You sound like you want to really bad and thats what it takes. Support from your husband is a great thing. You can do it and I for one will be pulling for you.
Take care and have a great day.
Frank
Fitzy,i cant add much more than what Frank has said.This is a very very hard time in your life,no doubt,but you know what you need to do,and youre taking the steps to do it.You are worth it!!! Sometimes we are our own worst enemies,and being an addict makes things ever more worse.Take it one day,one hour,one minute at a time,if thats what it'll take.Please feel free to keep posting today,i will be on most of the day between my cooking.Take care of you,you are worth it,youre not a bad person.Im happy that you and your husband are speaking again,maybe you can lean on him a little?~KIM
The past and what we have done. I think about it often, but I have learned not to forget about it, but untill you can find a place to but what your feeling, make amends and move on--you will forever be in pain.
It is really hard to look at what we were when we were using, but remember at that time you were sick, and that really was not you. Get clean, then start working on the past, cleaning up your side of the street. When you have clean time under your belt--it does get easier to clean things up--and you will be surprised--people are very forgiving, and most are thrilled that you are well and on your way back to be a better person !!!
Mike
It is really hard to look at what we were when we were using, but remember at that time you were sick, and that really was not you. Get clean, then start working on the past, cleaning up your side of the street. When you have clean time under your belt--it does get easier to clean things up--and you will be surprised--people are very forgiving, and most are thrilled that you are well and on your way back to be a better person !!!
Mike
Hi Fitzy,
A long time ago I thought I was unique in all the stupid things I had done to keep my addiction active.
I know now that almost all of us have done these same things.
Put guilt and shame on the back burner and be proud of the steps you are taking to rebuild your life.
Yesterday is but a memory, today is what counts.
I was so happy to embrace the concept of a disease and let go of the idea that I was character flawed.
Welcome to the world of recovery!
Love, Kat
A long time ago I thought I was unique in all the stupid things I had done to keep my addiction active.
I know now that almost all of us have done these same things.
Put guilt and shame on the back burner and be proud of the steps you are taking to rebuild your life.
Yesterday is but a memory, today is what counts.
I was so happy to embrace the concept of a disease and let go of the idea that I was character flawed.
Welcome to the world of recovery!
Love, Kat
Fitzy
As has already been said we all do things we regret and I would be lying if I said that the things i am guilty of do not still often bother me. However I am learning to accept that the things I did were done while I was sick, i now am learning that I am not defined by my past, I am defined by what I do about it and what I do into the future.
I honestly believe that all bridges can be mended and that if we turn our will over we can potentially avoid some of the pitfalls in life.
Perhaps talk to your Higher Power, based on the stuff I have laid on him and the fact he is still there today he seems pretty willing to listen, forgive and help me move on.
God bless.
As has already been said we all do things we regret and I would be lying if I said that the things i am guilty of do not still often bother me. However I am learning to accept that the things I did were done while I was sick, i now am learning that I am not defined by my past, I am defined by what I do about it and what I do into the future.
I honestly believe that all bridges can be mended and that if we turn our will over we can potentially avoid some of the pitfalls in life.
Perhaps talk to your Higher Power, based on the stuff I have laid on him and the fact he is still there today he seems pretty willing to listen, forgive and help me move on.
God bless.
What Wolf said Fitzy,
If I can be forgiven, anyone can. Of course we must learn to forgive ourselves. Then true healing can begin. Knowing that behaviour is behind me God willing causes much gratitude. I can assure you that you've done nothing worse then any of us. Live for today and anticipate the future. Things will be much better.
Beck
If I can be forgiven, anyone can. Of course we must learn to forgive ourselves. Then true healing can begin. Knowing that behaviour is behind me God willing causes much gratitude. I can assure you that you've done nothing worse then any of us. Live for today and anticipate the future. Things will be much better.
Beck
If it helps Fitzy read my on-line book found at :
http://www.wastednetwork.com/wn_for...m/index.php?c=6
By reading it perhaps you will see that the sickness associated with this disease means you are not unique nor do you have to go through this painful time alone.
God bless.
http://www.wastednetwork.com/wn_for...m/index.php?c=6
By reading it perhaps you will see that the sickness associated with this disease means you are not unique nor do you have to go through this painful time alone.
God bless.
Hi There
I just wanted to say that I truly feel that shame and guilt keeps us stuck.
you said you cant believe the things youve done, or how low you've stooped to get the drugs. thats a reflection of the addiction, not of you as a person. Once you get the toxins out of your system, and have recovered from your immediate addiction to your DOC, you would of course, NOT make the same choices.
As bad as the experience is of getting hooked on a DOC, I believe that the experience can be one that makes us an even better, stronger and wiser person. You will be able to help people that are in incredible distress with their addictions BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN THERE.Its like the old adage that states: THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER.
Realizing that you have a serious problem is in fact the first step. without acknowleding there is a problem, you cant fix it. Guess what?, your already there! You admit that you have a problem, that you need to change. Reaching out for help is the next step. You are posting here and sharing your story. These are postive things! There are so many wonderful people here who have been exactly where you are now and have conquered this and are using their expereince, their life lessons to help others.
There is no shame in admitting our shortcomings and starting the journey to fixing our lives, making it better. When you know better you do better.
Im behind you all the way and know if you are truly READY to change yur life you can do it!!!!!
Hugs,
Ali
I just wanted to say that I truly feel that shame and guilt keeps us stuck.
you said you cant believe the things youve done, or how low you've stooped to get the drugs. thats a reflection of the addiction, not of you as a person. Once you get the toxins out of your system, and have recovered from your immediate addiction to your DOC, you would of course, NOT make the same choices.
As bad as the experience is of getting hooked on a DOC, I believe that the experience can be one that makes us an even better, stronger and wiser person. You will be able to help people that are in incredible distress with their addictions BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEEN THERE.Its like the old adage that states: THAT WHICH DOES NOT KILL ME MAKES ME STRONGER.
Realizing that you have a serious problem is in fact the first step. without acknowleding there is a problem, you cant fix it. Guess what?, your already there! You admit that you have a problem, that you need to change. Reaching out for help is the next step. You are posting here and sharing your story. These are postive things! There are so many wonderful people here who have been exactly where you are now and have conquered this and are using their expereince, their life lessons to help others.
There is no shame in admitting our shortcomings and starting the journey to fixing our lives, making it better. When you know better you do better.
Im behind you all the way and know if you are truly READY to change yur life you can do it!!!!!
Hugs,
Ali
I am a firm believer that the disease of addiction feeds itself with our guilt and shame.
