Hey all. I am writing tonight because I am starting to get very worried. If u dont know my story the short version is that I had to take my 3 kids and leave my husband (who is in reno) to come stay with family in Michigan cuz he was back on meth after 3 yrs clean. He wouldnt admit it, but it was clear. Once I left he broke down and admitted to it and he said he was clean 4 weeks as of last Saturday. The reason I am worried is cuz I talked to him Sunday and he sounded quiet and didnt have much to say- he had been talkative and had his sense of humor back (finally) for a couple weeks prior but sounded different this time. Then I tried to call lastnight and he said he couldnt talk cuz he had to go out to get milk- like it was something he had to do NOW. Wierd, huh? He said he'd call back and never did. I tried calling all night- no answer. I called early in the morning about the time he should have been getting ready for work- still no answer. By now he should've been home from work 3 hours ago. -still nothing. He was supposed to fax me important custody papers so I could bring our kids back home this weekend and never did that either. I feel that something is wrong. Please pray for our family.
Thanks, Rachel
I talked to my husband finally, and he is ok as far as I can tell. He seemed to have a legit reason he was gone, but because I was worried and asked too many questions he got irritated and I blew up at him. I know i should control my temper, but I feel like he should understand I am gonna ask alot of questions cuz he has lied so much for so long before. Where do I vent all this anger I have for what he ahs done to our lives? He should be happy all i do is question him. Sometimes i feel like he deserves much much worse. I have lost a house and a job because of his addiction. I have had to go stay with a church family with my kids because he was so violent during detox. He nay be having a tough time, but he has NO IDEA what it has been like for me- AND HE DID IT! I DIDNT DO THIS! I guess I just wanna know how I canget over the anger I have toward him. Everytime I think i'm over the worst of it I blow up and lose it. I dont know what to do. We cant stay together like this, but I want to give him a chance.
luv, rach
luv, rach
Glad to hear you heard from him. I have an addict for a husband and I can only imagine the thoughts you were having! Sorry, you have to go through this. Sorry any of us do. You and I seem very similiar (unfortunately). Doesn't the anger just take over your whole body!? Well, you know like I know they do not like to answer the phone and that creates more stress on us b/c we are just stuck there wondering what the heck! Your heart knows what is going on so listen to it. You know they lie and say whatever it is they want to in order for them to get us out of the picture so they can continue. Be strong and hold on to hope but not necessarily to him! I know, trust me, I know that is very hard to do. I've learned on this site that I am worth it and SO ARE YOU!! You deserve better then this! Why not do what you can in order for YOU to have the life YOU deserve? I also learned to "never take on a burden that is not yours". If we don't create the life we want and deserve, who is? Not our addicts? They care about them and only them and getting high- that's it. No matter what they say. (you know that)
I have to go now, but be strong and protect you and your children- NO ONE ELSE WILL!!!
I'll pray for you. Good Luck!
I have to go now, but be strong and protect you and your children- NO ONE ELSE WILL!!!
I'll pray for you. Good Luck!
You have to protect yourself and your children. Was it really a legitamate excuse? It sounds like you have gotten away. You are playing with fire. You and your children deserve more. A few weeks clean is not that much for a habitual user. Be very careful.
