....Botle of perfume in the airport would have been a canter to steal. So would've the cigs, no one was watching. Here in egypt there are hardley any vid cameras i could've had money, bags, loads from the shops, cameras off the bus , new trainers... Hardly any money left, phoning the insurance place and telling them we had lost our money came into my mind, was even discussing it with my sis before i came how easy it is. Was speaking to one of the male maids, going on about getting a woman who needs a uk visa and marrying her for money.........
I didn't do one of those mentioned above.... they have all crossed my mind but i have resisted them ( not so easy the insurance one lol) I must be changing, in fact i know iam. By no means am i St Kev of stobswell, far from it. Still the same moaning a**e i was years ago but deep down i've changed...why is that. Deep down conning the insurance people isn't harming anyone, is it? But i couldn't do it....I felt weird inside even the thought of it. Don't like lying now, still do it, but don't like to...
Has this happeneed to anyone else? Let me know. Thanks peeps, Kev
Kev....strange feeling isnt it to actually WANT to be on the right side of the walk...so use to being on the outside and the outlaw...so use to justifying why that was and looking down at all those people who WERE on the straight side of life...perhaps we have learned what its like to feel "normal" and not be afraid of it...perhaps we were afraid of being a "normie" because we were so intent on using and trying to heal our wounds through our doc....so many years wasted because of the anger so many of us have and no tools but drugs to get us through it and to numb the pain...perhaps now we can see clearly for the first time in a long time and things appear differently to us and we are no longer afraid to be "normal" and straight because we feel better about ourselves and are dealing with the pain and anger in a constructive healthy way...perhpas we are getting healthy...? ;)
Kev i get where yer coming from.....i would be thinking the exact same ....oh how easy it would be to knock off sumthing........but as you get older and hopefully wiser those feelings go ....mostly the reason i dont do stuff thats naughty is Sian man she keeps me in check .....many times ive picked up sumthin with the basic intent of having it away ....when she chimes in ....Dad you gotta pay for that ....oh yeah love just forgot.....and i have to lead by example.So you are changing but it does take awhile for our addict brains to let go of old behaviours......enjoy the rest of yer hols.............Davey
