Anyone want to start a thread with me and pick a recovery topic to discuss? I've been working in the recovery field for nearly a decade and I'm also in recovery so I've been around the block.
I'm game...but we don't have to start another thread. This will do. I would love to talk about acceptance....give it your best shot!
Acceptance: Your life is a painting. An artist can recognize that each color in the light spectrum is equally important.
What I mean is your life may have good moments and bad moments but if you reflect on the bad moments as an experience, a taste, or a sampling of life, rather than something that is only awful... you can appreciate the universe with a more open mind and sense of tranquility.
And your thoughts?
What I mean is your life may have good moments and bad moments but if you reflect on the bad moments as an experience, a taste, or a sampling of life, rather than something that is only awful... you can appreciate the universe with a more open mind and sense of tranquility.
And your thoughts?
Awesome....I really liked what you wrote. Great perspective.
Acceptance for me is about letting go. About not being able to control or change anything or anyone anymore. Not that I could before, but I gave it everything I had. For the longest time, after getting clean and sober, I would stomp my feet and do alot of hrrmphing, when things didn't happen the way I wanted them too. With acceptance, there come serenity. Wow, imagine that?
Acceptance for me is about letting go. About not being able to control or change anything or anyone anymore. Not that I could before, but I gave it everything I had. For the longest time, after getting clean and sober, I would stomp my feet and do alot of hrrmphing, when things didn't happen the way I wanted them too. With acceptance, there come serenity. Wow, imagine that?
Kind of goes along with forgiveness. Ever let go of a grudge and forgive someone? It doesn't make up for the pain from the past but it removes the pain for the future.
You couldn't be more right. Forgiveness is the key of letting go. Easier said than done though. There have been things happen to me in my life (even here) that I've had to forgive and forget. If I didn't? I'd be stuck. I would allow others way too much power over me.
Bump for others who would like to join in...please?
Acceptance and forgiveness, great topics! I realize that when I am agitated with someone or a situation usually somehow I feel that my needs are not getting met. If I take a step back, don't roll with the poison, then I can accept that God has a plan. I can control my reaction. I can pray. I can create good thoughts and manifest good feelings because when I get stuck in negative thinking, I create more negativity.
Thanks for the thread.
~Rachel
Thanks for the thread.
~Rachel
We often see someone say they forgive someone who inflicted great pain on them, for example recently a mother forgave the man who killed her daughter. The first reaction might be what could she possibly get out of forgiving him. But you worded that perfectly - forgiveness does not take away the pain of the past but it does take away the pain of the future. Nice way of explaining it. Holding onto bitterness only keeps us bitter. We HAVE to let go for our own sakes.
Nice,
Acceptance and letting go for me are two totally different things. For example, knowing I'm an addict is one thing, accepting it set me free. As far as letting go, which is something that doesn't come easy for me all the time, is however wonderful when I can honestly do it. Letting go of resentments, which I think is big for every addict, hell, it's big for everyone period I think. But for me when I can honestly let go of something, it's a very spiritual feeling. It's not always easy to let go because there's a tug of war between what I know is right and foolish pride. You'd think I'd learn each time a situation comes up where letting go is the answer, but that damn pride thing usually causes a longer period of me trying to justify a wrong action or reaction my foolish pride told me was ok. Then usually I not only end up letting it go, I also have to accept I was wrong in however I reacted, and then if needed make an amend, accept I can't change it, hope I learned from it and then let it go. The Serenity Prayer is great, it's even better when I can think of it before I act or react instead of after. But on the bright side, those situations these days are much further apart than they used to be.
Anyway, I was just gonna skim through and read a bit but felt like sharing when I saw the topic. Nice thread.
Take care,
Bob
Acceptance and letting go for me are two totally different things. For example, knowing I'm an addict is one thing, accepting it set me free. As far as letting go, which is something that doesn't come easy for me all the time, is however wonderful when I can honestly do it. Letting go of resentments, which I think is big for every addict, hell, it's big for everyone period I think. But for me when I can honestly let go of something, it's a very spiritual feeling. It's not always easy to let go because there's a tug of war between what I know is right and foolish pride. You'd think I'd learn each time a situation comes up where letting go is the answer, but that damn pride thing usually causes a longer period of me trying to justify a wrong action or reaction my foolish pride told me was ok. Then usually I not only end up letting it go, I also have to accept I was wrong in however I reacted, and then if needed make an amend, accept I can't change it, hope I learned from it and then let it go. The Serenity Prayer is great, it's even better when I can think of it before I act or react instead of after. But on the bright side, those situations these days are much further apart than they used to be.
Anyway, I was just gonna skim through and read a bit but felt like sharing when I saw the topic. Nice thread.
Take care,
Bob
Hmm,
I was just thinking ( which alone is scary! ) lol. Anyway, it isn't even always between foolish pride a the right thing because sometimes I am right. Letting go is sometimes, for me the struggle between pride and how important is it. In the end one of the best things I've learned so far, and my sponsor always says it is; Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff. And more times then not, what I can allow my head to blow out of proportion usually ends up being silly, especially when I say it out loud. It's funny how something can really get under my skin and upset me, then when someone asks whats wrong? and I start to try and explain it outloud, it's then I realize how unimportant it really is to get upset over. Him, this has really got me to thinking but I'm too lazy to type out all thats on my mind so, I'll let it go for tonight and accept I'm lazy. lol
Have a good night,
Bob
I was just thinking ( which alone is scary! ) lol. Anyway, it isn't even always between foolish pride a the right thing because sometimes I am right. Letting go is sometimes, for me the struggle between pride and how important is it. In the end one of the best things I've learned so far, and my sponsor always says it is; Don't sweat the small stuff, and it's all small stuff. And more times then not, what I can allow my head to blow out of proportion usually ends up being silly, especially when I say it out loud. It's funny how something can really get under my skin and upset me, then when someone asks whats wrong? and I start to try and explain it outloud, it's then I realize how unimportant it really is to get upset over. Him, this has really got me to thinking but I'm too lazy to type out all thats on my mind so, I'll let it go for tonight and accept I'm lazy. lol
Have a good night,
Bob
The Human mind is very complex, on one hand we say things on the other we harbour thoughts and fester. In reality we would all love to be that perfect person who forgives and forgets and accepts but it never seems to happen. We are in the main hypicritacal, we all have ideals that we speak about but can never seem to actually achieve that goal for very long. Socialisation as a lot to answer for some good some bad just depends on which bits we use in later life. Although im not religous i was socailised to believe in a GOD and i did when young but now that im older and somewhat wiser lol i choose not to believe but i still hold some of my socalisation like, turn the other cheek, do unto other as you would have done to you, etc for me it works, that does not mean i too am not a hypicrite because i am it means i strive not to be a bad person. jaxxxx
Thank you all for the enjoyable conversation. I recently forgave someone who badly hurt me over ten years ago and it was like removing a weight on my shoulder. I no longer felt this stress on the back of my mind or the need for vengeance. I contacted the individual who hurt me and as it turns out, they felt sorry for their ways in the past but I still had to step up and forgive. I would have to stay it was a moment of growth for me and perhaps I am a real man now to understand what real forgiveness is.
I'm changing the perspective a bit,although this has to do with acceptance.
Trap
Age is covered with cosmetics,
Gray hidden with dye,
Confidence is sought in men,
Awarness deferred for the future.
She toils on her job,
Enduring tension and fatigue,
Subsisting on tranquilizers,
Pinning futile hope on her children.
Many people allow themselves to be trapped into a miserable life.When we see this, we might think "How tragic," but in actuality,they did it to themselves.We should know how our lives are going,for we need only track the decisions that confront us every day.
There are people who think that it does not matter what they do.Or they shrug that they are victims of circumstance.
Those who follow Tao do not want to end up in this way.They want to be free.They do not want to be victims.Therefore,although it is a difficult path,they constantly seek to expand the parameters of their lives.
They do not suffer to be exploited or enslaved,and they will eschew what is considered "normal" in order to be happy.""
Namaste
Trap
Age is covered with cosmetics,
Gray hidden with dye,
Confidence is sought in men,
Awarness deferred for the future.
She toils on her job,
Enduring tension and fatigue,
Subsisting on tranquilizers,
Pinning futile hope on her children.
Many people allow themselves to be trapped into a miserable life.When we see this, we might think "How tragic," but in actuality,they did it to themselves.We should know how our lives are going,for we need only track the decisions that confront us every day.
There are people who think that it does not matter what they do.Or they shrug that they are victims of circumstance.
Those who follow Tao do not want to end up in this way.They want to be free.They do not want to be victims.Therefore,although it is a difficult path,they constantly seek to expand the parameters of their lives.
They do not suffer to be exploited or enslaved,and they will eschew what is considered "normal" in order to be happy.""
Namaste
Hey,
Just figured I'd stop by and see what was up. Accepting our part in whatever it may be, making an amend if need be, then letting it go is an awesome process when honestly done. I think, for me anyway, learning how to make an amend without putting any expectations on it was the hardest part. One of the things I've learned is when I do make an amend, it's for me. It's for me because it's doing the right thing. How someone else reacts to it is outta my hands. It's great when it goes smooth, but people aren't always as forgiving as we'd like. Thats when acceptance and letting go really come into play. And that mind struggle with foolish pride starts sneaking in if we're, I'm sorry, I mean if I'm not careful. It's a life long process, and I'm sure my view on it a year from now will be totally different. But, thats where I'm at today and I'm ok with that.
Have a great day,
Bob
Just figured I'd stop by and see what was up. Accepting our part in whatever it may be, making an amend if need be, then letting it go is an awesome process when honestly done. I think, for me anyway, learning how to make an amend without putting any expectations on it was the hardest part. One of the things I've learned is when I do make an amend, it's for me. It's for me because it's doing the right thing. How someone else reacts to it is outta my hands. It's great when it goes smooth, but people aren't always as forgiving as we'd like. Thats when acceptance and letting go really come into play. And that mind struggle with foolish pride starts sneaking in if we're, I'm sorry, I mean if I'm not careful. It's a life long process, and I'm sure my view on it a year from now will be totally different. But, thats where I'm at today and I'm ok with that.
Have a great day,
Bob
Thank you for the wonderful "reads" this morning....hopefully this thread will continue.
Acceptance is the key for me and I have found it to be true that it is the answer to all my problems today. First I had to admit powerlessness, then surrender and then the acceptance came.
I try to no longer place expectations on other people and accept that they are exactly where God wants them to be. Who am I to judge or to try and run the universe. I no longer need to worry about changing the world, all I need to work on is changing me.
And on Letting Go...My sponsor shared with me early on in recovery that I was doing good with letting go but I needed to learn to Let Go...She explained that letting go meant I would let go and then take it back, the yo-yo exercise but when I Let Go and give it over to God, it's gone and I don't have to take it back....I think of this often when it's time to really let something go....
Thanks for letting me share...
Stacey
| QUOTE |
| Perhaps the best thing of all for me is to remember that my serenity is inversely proportional to my expectations. The higher my expectations, the lower my serenity. |
I try to no longer place expectations on other people and accept that they are exactly where God wants them to be. Who am I to judge or to try and run the universe. I no longer need to worry about changing the world, all I need to work on is changing me.
And on Letting Go...My sponsor shared with me early on in recovery that I was doing good with letting go but I needed to learn to Let Go...She explained that letting go meant I would let go and then take it back, the yo-yo exercise but when I Let Go and give it over to God, it's gone and I don't have to take it back....I think of this often when it's time to really let something go....
Thanks for letting me share...
Stacey
