Hey Ciaobella and Lostmum hope all is ok with you both keep posting when you can.
Light and love Zac
Ladies, Check in when you can....
Hello everyone. I'm still here reading posts but I am still drinking. I cried all the way to work today. I feel so weak because I just can't stop. I'm so scared. I hope I can get it together soon. Thanks for your concern.
I'm still around too, have been reading but haven't posted... I've been a bit ashamed because I've had a little setback, actually two of them, things are a little rough right now. Been down but I'm trying to pull myself out of it, and I do appreciate your concern Zac (you too VW). I'll try to post more often, that is if I have anything useful to contribute. I don't want to bring any drama here, the lack of it is one of things I like about this place. But I'm here and I appreciate you all very much... thanks for being here.
Scared? Listen to your fear. Ashamed? Right here, among friends, you can share exactly where you are at. I let 20+ years sober go by the wayside a few weeks ago. We are powerless left to our own devices.
I am so glad you 2 could share this with us. I'll keep you in my prayers. Find AA meetings.
since I am now at a loss for words, I'll sign off, keeping good and happy thawts sent your way!
I am so glad you 2 could share this with us. I'll keep you in my prayers. Find AA meetings.
since I am now at a loss for words, I'll sign off, keeping good and happy thawts sent your way!
Thanks again everyone. Like I said before, i'm glad I found this place.
Like it was said before keep posting. Keep comin' back. By you Gals sharing that it still isn't working "out there" just validates that I'm not missing anything by not drinking and drugging. If your an alcoholic like me, grab on to the solution and hop on board to sobriety!
HI CB
so proud of you for admitting it out loud. You are the best. Take a deep breath and give it another go.
I almost drank last night myself, went as far as buying a bottle of wine even. But I ended up not opening it.
take care girl
Idgie
so proud of you for admitting it out loud. You are the best. Take a deep breath and give it another go.
I almost drank last night myself, went as far as buying a bottle of wine even. But I ended up not opening it.
take care girl
Idgie
Hey Ciaobella and Lostmom never be embarrased about what is going down for you both, share it so that you air it, don't internalize any thing that happens to you as it has a habit of feeding on our self esteem and getting bigger.
I knew for ages that i had a problem and i failed many times at sobriety, think back to what happened before each drink and look for the triggers and work on them. Talk to someone about it, post about it get it out of your head and let the insanity ease a bit.
Dont be so hard on yourselfs the seed for sobriety is planted give it some light and love and it will grow.
Light and love Zac
Hey idgie everthing ok now for you?
I knew for ages that i had a problem and i failed many times at sobriety, think back to what happened before each drink and look for the triggers and work on them. Talk to someone about it, post about it get it out of your head and let the insanity ease a bit.
Dont be so hard on yourselfs the seed for sobriety is planted give it some light and love and it will grow.
Light and love Zac
Hey idgie everthing ok now for you?
Idgie, I'm so glad you didn't drink that wine! What was going on with you, hope you are doing better now. Sending plenty of good thoughts your way!
CB and LM: Please don't feel ashamed we are all human, Just think of it as riding a bike, you fall down and pick yourself back up and get on that bike again! We have been drinking for so long, that our bodies and minds are in freak mode because we are without something we have had in our lives for so long, like a best friend that is suddenly gone,it takes time to change bad habits to good ones, I slipped as well when I found out my Dad was sick, and I felt bad too, like I let myself down, but just don't focus on the negative, focus on the positive,knowing you were x amount of days sober is better than none at all!! If you need to chat more I will give you my email. I know life can be real tough sometimes, and escaping seems the best option, but hang in there.. You are both beautiful woman don't be too hard on yourselves!!!
Big Big Hugs
lovedove
Big Big Hugs
lovedove
I've heard it before in AA meetings, when people come in after a relapse, it usually is shared by someone that you did what we do, we drink....I've mentioned before it took me 20 years of trying to finally get it...and pray to God that I don't lose it. Oh and Idgie, I re-read my post to you above and I wasn't asking in a stern tone what happened, just wanted to know what triggered it for you ~ lots of times that helps me too, avoid a trigger that is....take it easy!
Thanks again so much everyone... I've been in freak-out mode since Sunday when I slipped, & slipped again Tuesday. This thing's gotten so huge in my head and I'm still trying to come to grips with it. I never even entertained the idea that it would be so hard to give up booze because I'd done it before but this time it's so much harder. And I'm freaking out about my BF, I don't know if I can quit if I'm with him. He doesn't have any real issues with drinking but he's an avid social drinker, and he doesn't know I have a problem, and I don't know that I want to tell him about it. I'm not sure what I'm going to do on that front.
Idgie, you've been a great help and support to me, and I appreciate it so much. You set a great example by your strength and dedication to your sobriety. And I'm also glad you didn't drink that wine - good on ya, as you all say in Aussie-land! Zac, LD, VW, WW, thanks for your words of wisdom and for your concern and support as well... you guys, everyone here has become so important to me. I don't have anyone in my "real" life to lean on with this, that's part of what makes it so hard. But all of you here make me want to get better, I just still get overwhelmed. But today I'm feeling a little better, and that's partly due to you guys. So thanks again, and love to everyone...
P.S. LD, I think I wrote down your email addy... I will try to send you an email today.
Idgie, you've been a great help and support to me, and I appreciate it so much. You set a great example by your strength and dedication to your sobriety. And I'm also glad you didn't drink that wine - good on ya, as you all say in Aussie-land! Zac, LD, VW, WW, thanks for your words of wisdom and for your concern and support as well... you guys, everyone here has become so important to me. I don't have anyone in my "real" life to lean on with this, that's part of what makes it so hard. But all of you here make me want to get better, I just still get overwhelmed. But today I'm feeling a little better, and that's partly due to you guys. So thanks again, and love to everyone...
P.S. LD, I think I wrote down your email addy... I will try to send you an email today.
Take it just one day at a time CB, the longer you stay sober the more clarity you will get...and you will not feel so overwhelmed.
Thanks VW... I'm trying to keep my chin up and take it one day at a time, and to draw strength from you and everyone else here who is so strong in sobriety...
And to Lostmom, I hope you will keep posting. I'm scared myself but am trying to be strong now... don't know that I can offer much help to you but I am here and do understand.
And to Lostmom, I hope you will keep posting. I'm scared myself but am trying to be strong now... don't know that I can offer much help to you but I am here and do understand.
Hi Ciaobellla, glad you are back! You have nothing to be ashamed of, in fact, you should be very proud of yourself for reaching out for help and not giving up.
I know when you are still drinking and thinking about quitting, it can seem very overwhelming, and sometimes even impossible. But right now don't look at the big picture, look at today. Then do the same when tomorrow comes, and so on.It will get easier each day that you are away from it. Your mind will be clearer and you can focus on everything better. I will be the first one to tell you it's not easy! I went crazy when i quit smoking pot and drinking, but since then i have found other things that i put my energy and thoughts into. (Right now mostly my recovery) but i have hobbies too. At first i had to make myself do those things. I didn't want to at all. Why would i wanna plant a flower when i don't even give a s*** about myself? But after making myself do things like that, i started to look forward to them, and started to get to know myself and discovered i kinda like me, and sometimes i even freak myself out with my creativity (i wasn't aware that i had any;)Now i can't stop! lol........anyways i'm starting to ramble now, but just know we are here for you, and we've all been where you are, that's why we're here!
I know you've probably heard it time and time again, but try an AA meeting, what have you got to lose?
I know when you are still drinking and thinking about quitting, it can seem very overwhelming, and sometimes even impossible. But right now don't look at the big picture, look at today. Then do the same when tomorrow comes, and so on.It will get easier each day that you are away from it. Your mind will be clearer and you can focus on everything better. I will be the first one to tell you it's not easy! I went crazy when i quit smoking pot and drinking, but since then i have found other things that i put my energy and thoughts into. (Right now mostly my recovery) but i have hobbies too. At first i had to make myself do those things. I didn't want to at all. Why would i wanna plant a flower when i don't even give a s*** about myself? But after making myself do things like that, i started to look forward to them, and started to get to know myself and discovered i kinda like me, and sometimes i even freak myself out with my creativity (i wasn't aware that i had any;)Now i can't stop! lol........anyways i'm starting to ramble now, but just know we are here for you, and we've all been where you are, that's why we're here!
I know you've probably heard it time and time again, but try an AA meeting, what have you got to lose?
Just saw your reply Jayde... thanks for the support and advice. It's been a rough week but I need to clear my head for the weekend. I'm not sure what will happen but I'm trying to stay strong. Still a little shameful but more frustrated than anything else. But I'm working on it. Congrats again on 30 days sober! You set a great example. Hugs...
