Clarity And Life Today

Alcohol
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I posted this over on the Crack/Cocaine site too, but wanted to share it with you guys too:

I thought I would post about what it is like today since I am coming up on 22 months of sobriety tomorrow. God willing if I don't pick up coke or drink today which I have a pretty good chance of not doing if I surrender my will and my life to the care of God today, and remember my sobriety is based only on a daily reprieve contingent on my spiritual condition. I started the recovery process by hitting an emotional, physical and spiritual bottom of sheer desperation. Either I was going to commit suicide (which I did not succeed at, thankfully) or I was going to seek help through the 12 step program of recovery. Since suicide was not the answer...I called upon AA, once again, and was graced with the gift of finally "getting it" ~ getting what it takes to stay clean and sober one day at time. For me, when I was out there drinking and using on a daily basis, my life was full of drama and chaos, in fact I thrived on it...everyday there was a new problem, new crisis...if there wasn't I was sure to stir the pot to make one happened...I've shared before that my daughters walked out on me, I walked out of a long term marriage, sold my house in haste, walked off my job (which miraculously they kept me employed at while seeking help thru the Employee Assistance Program <EAP>) while drinking and using (continually for 28 years). I no longer wake up confused, I have clarity-I'm able to put thoughts together, I remember what occurred the night before, I can actually show up for work without a hangover, dehydration, nausea, shakes, headache, general malaise and fatigue. I am now a strong, fit 46 year old woman and feel so much better than I did when I was in my twenties. I also now know how much $$ I have in my bank account on a daily basis, because before as I'm sure some of you can relate, I use to hit the ATM machine and pull out hundreds of dollars in a black out and not even remember! My daughters and I have Doctor and Dental appointments today which I will be on time for and will not reek of alcohol when I do show up. I legitimately took a sick day from work today, imagine that? I am attending AA meetings on a regular basis, working with a Sponsor, practicing the 12 steps of recovery and applying them to my life on a daily basis. I take service commitments at the meetings I attend and share my experience, strength and hope with other alcoholic and addicts. Most importantly, I have a conscious contact with a God of my understanding, a Higher Power, something bigger than me...this provides me with a great sense of relief, that I don't have to do this thing alone, I no longer walk in fear. That seems to be working for me...and it has enabled me to stay away from alcohol and cocaine day by day for almost 22 months...nothing else worked, and believe me I tried to find the easier, softer way to get sober for over 20 years! If I can do it any of you can too...post back and let me know how your life is going today, what is working for you to stay clean and sober and how you are improving the quality of your life. How do you maintain your peace and serenity and how are you able to be happy, joyous and free now. Thank God for my Sobriety! I am truly a Miracle!
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not only a Miracle VWGirl, but an inspiration to us all...

Keep Coming Back!
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Thank you Janet, right back atcha....you give hope to this here alcoholic/addict woman...amazingly we are still kickin' and suitin' up and showin' up for life now. Today I am grateful.
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I am too girl, and going outside to read my meditations and pray for another daily reprieve from addiction...

i will be on 90 days clean Oct. 2nd...by the power of prayer, honesty, openness and willingness to work the program and straighten out my life!!
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Wow Janet, I can't believe you're coming up on 90 days! Boy, that went fast (for me at least <LOL>). You are trudging the road to happy destiny...I just found out thru my Sponsor that trudging (which sounded like an awful word) means to walk with purpose...I like that so much better! I pass out the chips at my Home group meeting on Sundays, wish you here in SoCal to pick up a chip ~ heck you could be our 10 minute Speaker at our Wednesday night beginner's meeting - you have such an inspirational message!
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aww that's sweet...i am planning on doing the next H&I at the rehab hospital i was in...I may not have made it in there, but with outpatient and HP have done well!
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Love to hear that you're doing H & I work! They say we can't keep it if we don't give it away...awesome job!