hi
my partner is talking about going cold turkey off the H the hospital is no help with the methodone every day they say tommorow.
we can't afford his habit (he's sold most of the things we did own)
im really worried about this but he see's it as haveing no other choice
the H is tearing our family apart, advice needed please
what will he go through?
is there anyway i can help?
Going through cold turkey is not easy but it can be done. What you would expect would be withdrawl extending for a 3 to 5 day being very intense in the begining(first 2 days are the hardest by far). Everyones symptoms differ but they are typically stomach aches, runny nose, diarrhea, feeling agitated, hot and cold flashes, headaches and the feeling of crawling skin.
Yes there is.....give him plenty water, get him some good vitamins,if you have a juicer or know someone that does juice some fruits and veggies(fresh ginger a+) for an even greater vitamin boost, feed him as much as possible although some people dont have the disire to eat during this time but again everyone differs when dealing with withdrawl. Outside doing those things and encouraging him every step of the way that is the best you can do.....this is his battle. All the best to you both!
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| is there anyway i can help? |
Yes there is.....give him plenty water, get him some good vitamins,if you have a juicer or know someone that does juice some fruits and veggies(fresh ginger a+) for an even greater vitamin boost, feed him as much as possible although some people dont have the disire to eat during this time but again everyone differs when dealing with withdrawl. Outside doing those things and encouraging him every step of the way that is the best you can do.....this is his battle. All the best to you both!
Hi CR,
Oh that's a real spot to be in.........most of us have all been there at one time I think......the anticipation of the sickness.........one of the most frightening things ever.......but as GYAC said it can be done.
Agree with everyhting GYAC said........I'd add that the insomnia can for alot of people be the worst part.........and this is just me, but anybody tells ya it's just like a bad flu.......well it ain't........you got flu ya can take some NyQuil or something..........but with dope......you KNOW just one little bag will miraculously stop all those horrific symptoms........the draw is so tough.
CR, one thing though I wouldn't do......is keep asking questions......like "What are you doing that for?".........because we wish we knew ourselves......he won't want you to even touch him........even the touch of a towel or pillowcase skeeves ya out while kicking........so it's not personal......and mood......he may get really mean and next minute start crying.........then ya get depressed....it all passes though up the road.........but yeah it's tough.
I just wanted to add.......Omega 3 fish oil with the multi-vitamins......it truly helps with mood..........not a bloomin miracle but it helps......good luck to ya both Crystal.
Oh that's a real spot to be in.........most of us have all been there at one time I think......the anticipation of the sickness.........one of the most frightening things ever.......but as GYAC said it can be done.
Agree with everyhting GYAC said........I'd add that the insomnia can for alot of people be the worst part.........and this is just me, but anybody tells ya it's just like a bad flu.......well it ain't........you got flu ya can take some NyQuil or something..........but with dope......you KNOW just one little bag will miraculously stop all those horrific symptoms........the draw is so tough.
CR, one thing though I wouldn't do......is keep asking questions......like "What are you doing that for?".........because we wish we knew ourselves......he won't want you to even touch him........even the touch of a towel or pillowcase skeeves ya out while kicking........so it's not personal......and mood......he may get really mean and next minute start crying.........then ya get depressed....it all passes though up the road.........but yeah it's tough.
I just wanted to add.......Omega 3 fish oil with the multi-vitamins......it truly helps with mood..........not a bloomin miracle but it helps......good luck to ya both Crystal.
Hiya love,
Was gonna ask how ya coping but I can see things are getting tough!
My partner went through 8 cold turkey attempts but when he got to day 3 he couldnt take it anymore. He tried taking valium, sleeping tablets etc but nothing seemed to work. He felt flue like, hot and cold, sickness, aches in back, pains in stomach, constipation, very agitated and aggressive, NOT NICE AT ALL!!
I vouched I would never help him through cold turkey again and thats when he got help through his drugs worker.
Its a real difficult situation you are in. Give it a try. Everyone is different. You need real willpower to succeed though. Watch out for day 2 though and dont moan at him if he fails, try and try again. Your probably best off out of his way as much as you can. I even tried locking him in the house and taking his van keys and even that didnt work. He thought he was lying to me but he was lying to himself more.
Its really exhausting for you and believe me when you have your little one around things are much worse. He wont be getting any sleep. I remember Kevin was in and out of the bed, hugging me, crying, shouting. Grrrrrrr I know I couldnt do it again but as I said before everyone is different so good luck sweety!!
Speak soon.
Lyndsay xx
p.s. Gyac, That crawling feeling, do you mean like as if something is under your skin cos I remember him mentioning something like that and getting goose pimples all over his body??? That sounds mega crazy...OMG!!
Was gonna ask how ya coping but I can see things are getting tough!
My partner went through 8 cold turkey attempts but when he got to day 3 he couldnt take it anymore. He tried taking valium, sleeping tablets etc but nothing seemed to work. He felt flue like, hot and cold, sickness, aches in back, pains in stomach, constipation, very agitated and aggressive, NOT NICE AT ALL!!
I vouched I would never help him through cold turkey again and thats when he got help through his drugs worker.
Its a real difficult situation you are in. Give it a try. Everyone is different. You need real willpower to succeed though. Watch out for day 2 though and dont moan at him if he fails, try and try again. Your probably best off out of his way as much as you can. I even tried locking him in the house and taking his van keys and even that didnt work. He thought he was lying to me but he was lying to himself more.
Its really exhausting for you and believe me when you have your little one around things are much worse. He wont be getting any sleep. I remember Kevin was in and out of the bed, hugging me, crying, shouting. Grrrrrrr I know I couldnt do it again but as I said before everyone is different so good luck sweety!!
Speak soon.
Lyndsay xx
p.s. Gyac, That crawling feeling, do you mean like as if something is under your skin cos I remember him mentioning something like that and getting goose pimples all over his body??? That sounds mega crazy...OMG!!
Bunny/Lyn,
You got it! That was one horrible feeling......like you just want to pull yourself out of your skin because that feeling at times can be unbearable.
You got it! That was one horrible feeling......like you just want to pull yourself out of your skin because that feeling at times can be unbearable.
Gyac,
Yeh he said it was like bugs under his skin. Urrgghhh. I can imagine it! I just got shivers thinking ov it!
This heroin aint a drug..its the piggin devil aint it! and the devil takes everything ya got and just wont leave ya alone. Even when ya dont take it, it still takes over your body and mind. Crazy sh*t!!
Lynds
Yeh he said it was like bugs under his skin. Urrgghhh. I can imagine it! I just got shivers thinking ov it!
This heroin aint a drug..its the piggin devil aint it! and the devil takes everything ya got and just wont leave ya alone. Even when ya dont take it, it still takes over your body and mind. Crazy sh*t!!
Lynds
thats for sure!
we are going natural detox as of tommorow.
i rang the hospital and his case worker hasen't done a thing spoke to the duty worker and she said the next available appointment with the doctor is next thursday we cant wait another week i told her we were desperate now she said sorry.
i asked about detox through the hospital she said he can present himself at hospital but as they don't have a detox doctor he would be refered back to them.
so wish us luck were gonna need it.
we are going natural detox as of tommorow.
i rang the hospital and his case worker hasen't done a thing spoke to the duty worker and she said the next available appointment with the doctor is next thursday we cant wait another week i told her we were desperate now she said sorry.
i asked about detox through the hospital she said he can present himself at hospital but as they don't have a detox doctor he would be refered back to them.
so wish us luck were gonna need it.
CrystalRose,
Bunny Rocker brought up a really good point........staying out of his way.....although we can make the difficult because we like to moan and wahhhh.........wahhhhh....because we have to give up the thing we love the most........not meaning he doesn't love you all the most and a real love...but that fear of losing the thing that sustains even though we hate it we need it.
I was going to say here's some tips........watch him like a hawk.......don't allow him on the phone.......don't let anyone in the house..........and above all don't let him have two cents to rub together..........then I thought back to all the times I kicked at my friends........he even set a trap at one time.......when he had to go to the store.........and I still robbed him and went back out.......we're so sick we can't move but when ya $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ in your hand you're OUT!
Last time I kicked at this same persons he was like I ain't a babysitter....I'm not staying up all night..........or taking the phones out.......or setting a trap.....it's up to you......that bit of anticipation left me.........like well he ain'tt telling me what to do........and ya know what???????? It was on ME.....no amount of locking me in a room with a bucket.......or taking the phones out......or like my mom did once.......SLEPT ON A SLATE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE FRONT DOOR..........poor lady had to sleep sometime.......and on that cold floor.
I waited till she slept and went out the back door.
Wishing you all good things..........just listen to him.........and yep DAY 3......it's a killer.........and I learned each time ya break a kick the addiction is that much stronger........your brain and body saying FEED ME NOW.....hope ya get on and let us know how you guys made out.......tell him ya love him, and just listen.
Oh and I love my Bunny Rocker.......but any of us will tell ya like BR said she can just imagine the bugs under the skin.......unless you're in his body ya got not a clue.......although I give kudos to you guys because it's harder on you and that thank God I can't imagine........seeing someone I love there.....like GYAC said ya just want to get out of that body.......it's a fight.
Bunny Rocker brought up a really good point........staying out of his way.....although we can make the difficult because we like to moan and wahhhh.........wahhhhh....because we have to give up the thing we love the most........not meaning he doesn't love you all the most and a real love...but that fear of losing the thing that sustains even though we hate it we need it.
I was going to say here's some tips........watch him like a hawk.......don't allow him on the phone.......don't let anyone in the house..........and above all don't let him have two cents to rub together..........then I thought back to all the times I kicked at my friends........he even set a trap at one time.......when he had to go to the store.........and I still robbed him and went back out.......we're so sick we can't move but when ya $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ in your hand you're OUT!
Last time I kicked at this same persons he was like I ain't a babysitter....I'm not staying up all night..........or taking the phones out.......or setting a trap.....it's up to you......that bit of anticipation left me.........like well he ain'tt telling me what to do........and ya know what???????? It was on ME.....no amount of locking me in a room with a bucket.......or taking the phones out......or like my mom did once.......SLEPT ON A SLATE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE FRONT DOOR..........poor lady had to sleep sometime.......and on that cold floor.
I waited till she slept and went out the back door.
Wishing you all good things..........just listen to him.........and yep DAY 3......it's a killer.........and I learned each time ya break a kick the addiction is that much stronger........your brain and body saying FEED ME NOW.....hope ya get on and let us know how you guys made out.......tell him ya love him, and just listen.
Oh and I love my Bunny Rocker.......but any of us will tell ya like BR said she can just imagine the bugs under the skin.......unless you're in his body ya got not a clue.......although I give kudos to you guys because it's harder on you and that thank God I can't imagine........seeing someone I love there.....like GYAC said ya just want to get out of that body.......it's a fight.
thanks we are changeing our phone number cause we have people ringing asking if he is looking and even asking him to steal and they'll supply him so we decided change number (his idea)
i know he loves me i'll try to stay out of his way and be strong.
i honestly can't imagine what people who are addicted to it go through its bad enough watching.
thank you for your advice i appreciate it
i know he loves me i'll try to stay out of his way and be strong.
i honestly can't imagine what people who are addicted to it go through its bad enough watching.
thank you for your advice i appreciate it
Yeh I tried locking him up, taking his phone away, his van keys and I just got to a point where I thought you know what this aint my problem but I was making it mine and making myself ill. I had the sense to be strong and move on and start to do my own thing. Definately dont build ya hopes up on each time he tries cold turkey and remember as our Bryn said tell him you love him and just be there for him when he comes to you!
Bryn do you really think its harder for us? I thought so when this problem first began but now I just dont know what to think? I have seen the withdrawels and how hard it is to come clean etc and I can only begin to imagine what pain it must be.
You know what...I dont know anymore. Questions fly through your head...what have I done, doesnt he love me enough to stop, how could he do this to me??? Truth is you dont even come into it. No matter how much they love ya, they got to go and score. THAT HURTS.
I feel like screaming cos we were one step closer, well 5 days closer and he came clean that he had used yesterday. God I hate his guts doing this to me again and he knows the consequences. This time no matter how much I love him he is gone. I got to go. I am gonna run as fast as I can when I get my opportunity. I am no fool and cant show him that he can keep getting away with it! If he wants to get better he can bloody well do it on his own. He is not upsetting me like this anymore because it is going to affect my lil girl and she comes first!
I keep thinking if I feel like this what must he feel like?? Then I think at least he was honest with me but then I think I told him to be honest from now on so atleast he didnt lie but then again he did at first when he went out. He went for a loaf of bread yesterday and to get his sub and he came back with no bread and a smile on his face. God this man is so under my skin. Worst of all there is a chance I may be pregnant again. Oh my god. Sorry to moan I am just sick and tired and I know what I got to do its just actually doing it. I feel too tired to run.
Love to ya all.....Lynds xx
Bryn do you really think its harder for us? I thought so when this problem first began but now I just dont know what to think? I have seen the withdrawels and how hard it is to come clean etc and I can only begin to imagine what pain it must be.
You know what...I dont know anymore. Questions fly through your head...what have I done, doesnt he love me enough to stop, how could he do this to me??? Truth is you dont even come into it. No matter how much they love ya, they got to go and score. THAT HURTS.
I feel like screaming cos we were one step closer, well 5 days closer and he came clean that he had used yesterday. God I hate his guts doing this to me again and he knows the consequences. This time no matter how much I love him he is gone. I got to go. I am gonna run as fast as I can when I get my opportunity. I am no fool and cant show him that he can keep getting away with it! If he wants to get better he can bloody well do it on his own. He is not upsetting me like this anymore because it is going to affect my lil girl and she comes first!
I keep thinking if I feel like this what must he feel like?? Then I think at least he was honest with me but then I think I told him to be honest from now on so atleast he didnt lie but then again he did at first when he went out. He went for a loaf of bread yesterday and to get his sub and he came back with no bread and a smile on his face. God this man is so under my skin. Worst of all there is a chance I may be pregnant again. Oh my god. Sorry to moan I am just sick and tired and I know what I got to do its just actually doing it. I feel too tired to run.
Love to ya all.....Lynds xx
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| I feel like screaming cos we were one step closer, well 5 days closer and he came clean that he had used yesterday. God I hate his guts doing this to me again and he knows the consequences. This time no matter how much I love him he is gone. I got to go. I am gonna run as fast as I can when I get my opportunity. |
Judging by your quotes, you are still not ready to admit you are powerless over his addiction. We were 1 step closer implies you feel that it is a joint journey. It is his cross to bear. You would not be angry if you where not still in the belief you can change him. The change has to come from him.
The going to run "when I get my opportunity" sounds like you are trying to manipulate the outcome. If you where serious about leaving, you would have left. I am not telling you to leave or stay that is your choice. You are however setting up an I would have left but... moment. A boundary only exists if it is enforced. Never set a boundary that you do not mean to keep. Boundaries when dealing with a loved one in active addiction will be tested. If you set a consequence and don't follow it, it will be crossed regularly.
Changing ourselves may or may not spark a change in our addicted loved ones. It will however make our own lives more fulfilling. It will make us more healthy. it will make us enjoy life again. We should not hate our addicted loved ones for our own messed up lives. They did not cause our reactions. Our reactions are our own. Your life will get better once you realize you are in charge of every emotion and reaction you have.
Here is some reading material for you and crystalrose.
Dear CR, please listen to what hurt dad has to say. There's nothing you can do to help him. All you can do is help yourself. Yep the withdrawals are really awful. In all my years of using, I couldn't get clean by going cold turkey. It's just too much to deal with. It was for me, anyway. But it's his choice. And it's not ever going to be easy. Climbing Everest isn't easy, but some people do it, if their motivation is strong enough. Please realise that by sticking around, going back on your ultimatums, you are simply eating away at his motivation. Why bother getting clean if he knows deep down that you'll still be around whether he does it or not?
I have actually been in a similar situation to you now. I was serious about getting clean, but the man I was with wasn't. I had to be quite cold and calculating in the end. Was his "happiness" worth sacrificing mine for? Were my life, my dreams, my hopes so unimportant that I could just say "hey-ho, never mind," and watch everything I wanted out of life just sail down the river without me? Bottom line? Not a snowballs chance in Hell!
I don't know much about your situation, except that you have a little kid to care for. I don't even know where in the world you are. But do something to make yourself feel better. Go out, get a local paper, search through the rentals section, find a flat or a little house and ring the number. Go and see it. Visualise yourself and your little girl decorating your place, making a new home for yourselves. Money is probably tight. If you don't have a bond, find out if there are any bond schemes operating. Do you have any body you could borrow the money from? Ring a few landlords and ask them.
When I moved out from my ex-boyfriend I didn't have a bean. I found a tiny little flat with a landlord who wasn't too fussy about bonds etc, and got a small loan from the social to help me start out. My landlord let me off a few weeks rent in return for decorating the flat. It felt good to have finally struck out on my own. And as for the ex, well, he had choices, he had chances, but I couldn't stand back and let life pass me by because of his f***-ups. It wasn't like I hadn't warned him this was coming. And we actually got along better after I stopped feeling all bitter and twisted because he was ruining my life.
Your boyfriend can and will do what he wants to do, but not at any cost. And the price of his continuing heroin abuse is you. The price of that drug is YOU, and your little one. You have to let him know that he can't have his cake and eat it. He can have heroin if that's what he wants, but he can't have you at the same time. That's the only thing you can do to help him and yourself, and your child. Please, please help yourself, coz nobody else will.
love
Diff xxx
I have actually been in a similar situation to you now. I was serious about getting clean, but the man I was with wasn't. I had to be quite cold and calculating in the end. Was his "happiness" worth sacrificing mine for? Were my life, my dreams, my hopes so unimportant that I could just say "hey-ho, never mind," and watch everything I wanted out of life just sail down the river without me? Bottom line? Not a snowballs chance in Hell!
I don't know much about your situation, except that you have a little kid to care for. I don't even know where in the world you are. But do something to make yourself feel better. Go out, get a local paper, search through the rentals section, find a flat or a little house and ring the number. Go and see it. Visualise yourself and your little girl decorating your place, making a new home for yourselves. Money is probably tight. If you don't have a bond, find out if there are any bond schemes operating. Do you have any body you could borrow the money from? Ring a few landlords and ask them.
When I moved out from my ex-boyfriend I didn't have a bean. I found a tiny little flat with a landlord who wasn't too fussy about bonds etc, and got a small loan from the social to help me start out. My landlord let me off a few weeks rent in return for decorating the flat. It felt good to have finally struck out on my own. And as for the ex, well, he had choices, he had chances, but I couldn't stand back and let life pass me by because of his f***-ups. It wasn't like I hadn't warned him this was coming. And we actually got along better after I stopped feeling all bitter and twisted because he was ruining my life.
Your boyfriend can and will do what he wants to do, but not at any cost. And the price of his continuing heroin abuse is you. The price of that drug is YOU, and your little one. You have to let him know that he can't have his cake and eat it. He can have heroin if that's what he wants, but he can't have you at the same time. That's the only thing you can do to help him and yourself, and your child. Please, please help yourself, coz nobody else will.
love
Diff xxx
Wow HurtDad,
Strong words and very very meaningfull. You hit the nail on the head. I thought I was strong enough to cope with this and thought I had moved on from the fact that this is not my problem or our problem and that it is in fact his PROBLEM.
We have spoken on the phone and he knows what is happening. He is leaving tonight. Silly thing is I dont actualy want him to!! I have accepted this problem for so long and comited myself to helping him knowing fine well that only he could help himself.
I convince myself that with the help from me he can do this and build up all my hopes and then again and again the same thing happens and I dont do anything about it!
I am going to go back and do what I done before and just get on with my life, like Diff said....if he wants to take heroin he can do that but he wont have me. I will get on and do my own thing for mine and my daughters sake. He has 2 choices and its obviouse because I havent stuck to my word before he knows he can get away with it. I need to stop making threats and turn them into actions.
Thanks for all advise!!
Hey CrystalRose...emailed ya hunny and not heard from ya. Hope all is ok with ya. Take care sweety. Am thinking of you xxx
Strong words and very very meaningfull. You hit the nail on the head. I thought I was strong enough to cope with this and thought I had moved on from the fact that this is not my problem or our problem and that it is in fact his PROBLEM.
We have spoken on the phone and he knows what is happening. He is leaving tonight. Silly thing is I dont actualy want him to!! I have accepted this problem for so long and comited myself to helping him knowing fine well that only he could help himself.
I convince myself that with the help from me he can do this and build up all my hopes and then again and again the same thing happens and I dont do anything about it!
I am going to go back and do what I done before and just get on with my life, like Diff said....if he wants to take heroin he can do that but he wont have me. I will get on and do my own thing for mine and my daughters sake. He has 2 choices and its obviouse because I havent stuck to my word before he knows he can get away with it. I need to stop making threats and turn them into actions.
Thanks for all advise!!
Hey CrystalRose...emailed ya hunny and not heard from ya. Hope all is ok with ya. Take care sweety. Am thinking of you xxx
Bunny,
I have been where you are with my daughter. If all of the threats, begging and all of the other things we try, do not work with your own flesh and blood who will it work on?
What I was talking about can be applied to more than addiction. We should never try to change others to be something we want them to be. If we can't deal with how someone is, we should move on. Trying to change someone to be something they aren't and do not want to be just brings resentments on both sides.
I have been where you are with my daughter. If all of the threats, begging and all of the other things we try, do not work with your own flesh and blood who will it work on?
What I was talking about can be applied to more than addiction. We should never try to change others to be something we want them to be. If we can't deal with how someone is, we should move on. Trying to change someone to be something they aren't and do not want to be just brings resentments on both sides.
HurtDad,
Your exactly right in what you say. If I aint happy I shouldnt try to change him, I should just move on. I know I keep saying I cant but I know I can, I just wont.
Why do we persude ourselves that thing are going to get better? Why do we punish and blame ourselves for thier actions? Do you believe in happy endings?
What is the outcome with your daughter if you dont mind me asking?
Lyndsay xx
Your exactly right in what you say. If I aint happy I shouldnt try to change him, I should just move on. I know I keep saying I cant but I know I can, I just wont.
Why do we persude ourselves that thing are going to get better? Why do we punish and blame ourselves for thier actions? Do you believe in happy endings?
What is the outcome with your daughter if you dont mind me asking?
Lyndsay xx
thank you and i know everyones right!
that is exactly what needs to happen
were in New Zealand. he is possibly looking at jail also as i've never been to jail i don't know weather he can straigten out in there or not.
i will start looking for somewhere for me and my baby theres agencys here that help with bond etc and a lot of landlords are good with bond.
that is exactly what needs to happen
were in New Zealand. he is possibly looking at jail also as i've never been to jail i don't know weather he can straigten out in there or not.
i will start looking for somewhere for me and my baby theres agencys here that help with bond etc and a lot of landlords are good with bond.
