I have fed my addictions. I continue to feed them, when ever possible. I only wish I could have both. A productive life and my addictions. I have fought through so much, given up all that is important just trying to make it through life and make it good, better. It seems weather I am clean or not the bad just keeps piling up. Is there a light at the end of the tunnel? Can I make it to that light? Will there always be a drug in my life? I have thought about trying to acctually get a perscription for smokes on the base that I do weekly drug tests and has long has I am clean I can have my smokes cheaper. Addiction is a part of me, it is a part of my life. Can a person really turn in apart of them selves? What do you exchange it for? So many tough questions surround this life choice and I don't know the answers. It is the scariest place to be. Scarier then being right in the middle of the addiction with a gun to your head, bruises covering your body, and knowing that this one hit could kill you. I think the only thing a recovering addict needs is somebody there they can talk to when needed, even if it is just to hear a voice, someone to hold them when you get scared and the feelings become to much, and honesty with care. I just wish I could get mine back.
I've been where you are...it becomes so not fun any more.
I have been clean for 6+ months now and feel so much better about myself and my life.
Good luck in your recovery!
I have been clean for 6+ months now and feel so much better about myself and my life.
Good luck in your recovery!
