I'm confused, are we talking about tough love or relapse?
I think I know that guy tim...nostradamus?
That gives me the chills...He READ your cards, boy. Unreal.
I think he was talking about tough love. He remembers the softness of the guy who told him like it was and gave him a hug. His point was convincing, you remember the softer things.
WOW, good story tim.
That gives me the chills...He READ your cards, boy. Unreal.
I think he was talking about tough love. He remembers the softness of the guy who told him like it was and gave him a hug. His point was convincing, you remember the softer things.
WOW, good story tim.
Ali, Sdr, Tim, Wolf, Donna, Everyone else I can't think of off the top, I appreciate your words of encouragement.
SDR, I also believe like you, although that doesn't say a lot about me cause I knew what I was doing... I had control whether to do it or not and I did. I am usually such a strong person and lately have been so weak in what I want and need in my life because I don't care enough. Things are that bad for me at the moment. If anything I took them to feel better and because I thought "I don't give a sh** about what happens to me now anyways, which is really sad.
Tim, Donna, Ali, Gina, Tom, and Wolf
Thanks for understanding
Stacey
SDR, I also believe like you, although that doesn't say a lot about me cause I knew what I was doing... I had control whether to do it or not and I did. I am usually such a strong person and lately have been so weak in what I want and need in my life because I don't care enough. Things are that bad for me at the moment. If anything I took them to feel better and because I thought "I don't give a sh** about what happens to me now anyways, which is really sad.
Tim, Donna, Ali, Gina, Tom, and Wolf
Thanks for understanding
Stacey
I have read this thread and pondered it..... and jimin, this is addiction.... it isnt about control or weakness.... period.. it is about knowing what it is about and learning to do the next right thing.... we are all weak when it comes to the drug.... we cant be around it... we cant take just one... we all need support... and we all have to surrender and commit .. period... for most of us... that means telling our family that we can take the pills or they can show them to us or have them around us, it mean daily afirmations and support from other addicts or people that know about recovery...
Relapses can be one of the single best learning tools ... for the person that relapses as well as those around them but.... they are not part of the process and they can only be used for good if they are looked at objectively.... only the person sharing the relapse know the true motive behind there telling of it... do they want the perverbial pat of the a**... or do they want to be told what to do now.. or a combination of both.... only they know.... We all as humans want to be accepted and loved unconditionally.... just because I tell you that your relapse does signal to me a lack of surrender and that you didnt do your work to begin with ... why did your husband not know to hide the pills.. did you tell him?.. if not why?.. didnt take the suggestion.. lack of surrender.. (just an example..) we all have done that... just because I say that doesnt mean that I dont love you and support your efforts in recovery... and will keep trying to tell you how it works for me.... it is on you how you precieve the info....
You need to look at what didnt work for you and decide if you want to change it... if you WANT recovery ... it dont come cheap or easy but NA/AA is free....
dont give up .. it is worth it .. and I believe you are worth it too....
remember .. not about control or weakness... just surrender...
Teresa
Relapses can be one of the single best learning tools ... for the person that relapses as well as those around them but.... they are not part of the process and they can only be used for good if they are looked at objectively.... only the person sharing the relapse know the true motive behind there telling of it... do they want the perverbial pat of the a**... or do they want to be told what to do now.. or a combination of both.... only they know.... We all as humans want to be accepted and loved unconditionally.... just because I tell you that your relapse does signal to me a lack of surrender and that you didnt do your work to begin with ... why did your husband not know to hide the pills.. did you tell him?.. if not why?.. didnt take the suggestion.. lack of surrender.. (just an example..) we all have done that... just because I say that doesnt mean that I dont love you and support your efforts in recovery... and will keep trying to tell you how it works for me.... it is on you how you precieve the info....
You need to look at what didnt work for you and decide if you want to change it... if you WANT recovery ... it dont come cheap or easy but NA/AA is free....
dont give up .. it is worth it .. and I believe you are worth it too....
remember .. not about control or weakness... just surrender...
Teresa
Stacey;
Are you getting any f2f support right now? Do you have a doctor you can speak to, a counselor/therapist, do you go to meetings? How about a good friend.
I guess my point is I find this forum to be wonderful but it is limiting. Looking someone else in the eyes - someone you can trust - and venting can be a wonderful thing. You don't need to take this all on yourself.
Stay strong;
Jim
Are you getting any f2f support right now? Do you have a doctor you can speak to, a counselor/therapist, do you go to meetings? How about a good friend.
I guess my point is I find this forum to be wonderful but it is limiting. Looking someone else in the eyes - someone you can trust - and venting can be a wonderful thing. You don't need to take this all on yourself.
Stay strong;
Jim
Teresa,
My husband is an addict also. Read the post I wrote titled "VENTING" that'll tell you a lot of what is going on. Anyways, I didn't post this so people can tell me it's ok. I know it's not. BTW tough love won't get too far on me if I'm in the mood I've been in, i'm stubborn as hell. I posted this cause I want others going through the same thing that don't post, to know that they are not alone and also, I couldn't just post regular about what's going on , how i feel Etc...without confessing what happened, I thought about it but I couldn't do that.
Stacey
My husband is an addict also. Read the post I wrote titled "VENTING" that'll tell you a lot of what is going on. Anyways, I didn't post this so people can tell me it's ok. I know it's not. BTW tough love won't get too far on me if I'm in the mood I've been in, i'm stubborn as hell. I posted this cause I want others going through the same thing that don't post, to know that they are not alone and also, I couldn't just post regular about what's going on , how i feel Etc...without confessing what happened, I thought about it but I couldn't do that.
Stacey
Great post Theresa.
Jimmy quotes-I had control whether to do it or not and I did. I am usually such a strong person and lately have been so weak in what I want and need in my life because I don't care enough. Things are that bad for me at the moment. If anything I took them to feel better and because I thought "I don't give a sh** about what happens to me now anyways, which is really sad.
Thats how you feel right now.Its just a feeling and being fueled by a narcotic.
Keep it in perspective.It will change.Again,what Theresa said.Its not about being strong.The pills are a losing battle,your'e not.Dont confuse the two.Its time to get honest and let your other half know its not o.k. to have them around
Ive got some time and I would be insane to keep a bottle of opiates around
Get through tonight.That can be your only goal right now.Have a talk with your partner.Maybe explain how it effects you right now and make sure they understand its not about them.They didnt do anything wrong.
Also,realize a relapse is not a green light to just go ahead and get really f*cked up.You probably will have no more than an upset stomach and some depression.
Jimmy quotes-I had control whether to do it or not and I did. I am usually such a strong person and lately have been so weak in what I want and need in my life because I don't care enough. Things are that bad for me at the moment. If anything I took them to feel better and because I thought "I don't give a sh** about what happens to me now anyways, which is really sad.
Thats how you feel right now.Its just a feeling and being fueled by a narcotic.
Keep it in perspective.It will change.Again,what Theresa said.Its not about being strong.The pills are a losing battle,your'e not.Dont confuse the two.Its time to get honest and let your other half know its not o.k. to have them around
Ive got some time and I would be insane to keep a bottle of opiates around
Get through tonight.That can be your only goal right now.Have a talk with your partner.Maybe explain how it effects you right now and make sure they understand its not about them.They didnt do anything wrong.
Also,realize a relapse is not a green light to just go ahead and get really f*cked up.You probably will have no more than an upset stomach and some depression.
I think you missed the point..... I was making a comment about the your saying that your were not in control and weak first off.. and secondly .. I wasnt saying at all that you should have or didnt tell your husband anything.... and lastly .... I was not implying that you were asking for sympathy in any fashion... my point was that only the person that is posting or relaying the message about the relapse knows their motive of what will work best for them in that particular time.... only they do....
oh well.... I was actually trying to see your point and take some of the pressure or guilt that you seemed to have had in your last post off... but alas... it wasnt to be... think what ever you want.... I wasnt using tough love this time actually.... if I were you would have had no problem understanding it from the above post...lol..... I was not in anyway judging you or your relapse.. in fact I thought I pointed out the human nature side of it all... again.... What ever......
I am sorry that I missed your "venting" thread... or maybe I just forgot... I dont know and I am not gonna take the time to look .. I wont be able to get any point across any way.....
Good Luck to you...
Teresa
oh well.... I was actually trying to see your point and take some of the pressure or guilt that you seemed to have had in your last post off... but alas... it wasnt to be... think what ever you want.... I wasnt using tough love this time actually.... if I were you would have had no problem understanding it from the above post...lol..... I was not in anyway judging you or your relapse.. in fact I thought I pointed out the human nature side of it all... again.... What ever......
I am sorry that I missed your "venting" thread... or maybe I just forgot... I dont know and I am not gonna take the time to look .. I wont be able to get any point across any way.....
Good Luck to you...
Teresa
whoa whoa whoa teresa. Sorry you took that wrong, I shouldn't have addressed that just to you. I put your name and then just started typing how I felt and I'm sorry for that. My mind is so boggled. I appreciate you taking the time to write me and let me know how it is for you.
Honestly I don't think I am in a state of even being able to become offended or take something wrong, I can see right in EVERY single person's posts.
Thanks again
Stacey
Honestly I don't think I am in a state of even being able to become offended or take something wrong, I can see right in EVERY single person's posts.
Thanks again
Stacey
the following excerpt from the big book, which i have copied and pasted without permission, describes the type of addict/alcoholic i was and the insanity associated with addiction. perhaps there are those who will relate? just replace the word alcohol with pain pills, et al.
**************************************************************************************
Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible
with respect to the first drink as that of an individual
with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill
out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He
enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings.
Up to this point you would label him as a foolish
chap having q**** ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him
and he is slightly injured several times in succession.
You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out.
Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured
skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving
trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you he has
decided to stop jay-walking for good, but in a few weeks
he breaks both legs.
On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied
by his continual promises to be careful or to keep
off the streets altogether. Finally, he can no longer work,
his wife gets a divorce and he is held up to ridicule. He
tries every known means to get the jay-walking idea out
of his head. He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping
to mend his ways. But the day he comes out he races in
front of a fire engine, which breaks his back. Such a
man would be crazy, wouldn't he?
You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. But
is it? We, who have been through the wringer, have to
admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking, the
illustration would fit exactly. However intelligent
we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has
been involved, we have been strangely insane. It's strong
language -- but isn't it true?
**************************************************************************************
the same book from which this story was taken also contains the solution.
we do recover provided we are willing to follow some simple suggestions.
that has been my experience.
*sdr*.
**************************************************************************************
Our behavior is as absurd and incomprehensible
with respect to the first drink as that of an individual
with a passion, say, for jay-walking. He gets a thrill
out of skipping in front of fast-moving vehicles. He
enjoys himself for a few years in spite of friendly warnings.
Up to this point you would label him as a foolish
chap having q**** ideas of fun. Luck then deserts him
and he is slightly injured several times in succession.
You would expect him, if he were normal, to cut it out.
Presently he is hit again and this time has a fractured
skull. Within a week after leaving the hospital a fast-moving
trolley car breaks his arm. He tells you he has
decided to stop jay-walking for good, but in a few weeks
he breaks both legs.
On through the years this conduct continues, accompanied
by his continual promises to be careful or to keep
off the streets altogether. Finally, he can no longer work,
his wife gets a divorce and he is held up to ridicule. He
tries every known means to get the jay-walking idea out
of his head. He shuts himself up in an asylum, hoping
to mend his ways. But the day he comes out he races in
front of a fire engine, which breaks his back. Such a
man would be crazy, wouldn't he?
You may think our illustration is too ridiculous. But
is it? We, who have been through the wringer, have to
admit if we substituted alcoholism for jay-walking, the
illustration would fit exactly. However intelligent
we may have been in other respects, where alcohol has
been involved, we have been strangely insane. It's strong
language -- but isn't it true?
**************************************************************************************
the same book from which this story was taken also contains the solution.
we do recover provided we are willing to follow some simple suggestions.
that has been my experience.
*sdr*.
BTW Jim, I don't go to meetings, although I have looked them up and there are plenty around. I have no car and I'm stuck at home with a 14 mo old. It is a thought and I would never totally discredit it, but I tend to feel the same way about meetings as Ali (alicap).
My doctor knows about my feelings, and I have a very legitimate reason for taking the medicine I am prescribed, however he says if I take them as prescribed and don't abuse them I am no addict, and he has offered to remain prescribing them as long as he keeps tabs week by week on how many I am consuming. I told him I'd think about it... I have tried A TON of other medicines for my back and none come close to relieving my pain. Plus, I have a 26 lb baby on my hip 24/7, that definitley does not help my back. I go to Physical Therapy regularly, and am told i will have NO back pain within 6 months, so that to me is GREAT news, To be 22 years old and have severe back damage is one of the things that drags me down so much.
If anything I need marriage counseling. I think if my marriage was straight I wouldn't feel the need to keep taking them.
Stacey
My doctor knows about my feelings, and I have a very legitimate reason for taking the medicine I am prescribed, however he says if I take them as prescribed and don't abuse them I am no addict, and he has offered to remain prescribing them as long as he keeps tabs week by week on how many I am consuming. I told him I'd think about it... I have tried A TON of other medicines for my back and none come close to relieving my pain. Plus, I have a 26 lb baby on my hip 24/7, that definitley does not help my back. I go to Physical Therapy regularly, and am told i will have NO back pain within 6 months, so that to me is GREAT news, To be 22 years old and have severe back damage is one of the things that drags me down so much.
If anything I need marriage counseling. I think if my marriage was straight I wouldn't feel the need to keep taking them.
Stacey
Stacey...I was in severe pain after 90 days..took 2 weeks worth of oxycodone...relapse? Regardless of the reasons..I felt I slipped. Everyone here was so supportive when I was down on myself..if I felt like a failure, I may have said f***k it... I understand the other viewpoint(sweetdaddy) but in perfect world we surrender and that's it...we are addicts..we don't learn the easy way..sometimes we stumble, and take a few steps back, and then forward.I am 35 days today...if I had given up..I'd still be filling that rx...please know you can do this...I felt utterly hopeless..right now I am so proud of myself for hanging in.I still deal with daily pain, but the painkillers made it WORSE. Read Tim's thread re: opiates.You have my support..please feel free to call on me...Sharonn
Just popped in to say hi sharron...
I think everyone on this Board has been where you are at one time or another -- most of us more times than we'd like to admit. Please just don't give up. Your life depends on it.
Hey Ms. Wiverson....How are you? I'm great except for the elavil...had to lower the dose,,more pain,It was affecting my heart and blood pressure...Love, Sharonn
sharon
i couldn't agree more with you and what you have stated. i stumbled in and out of detoxes and rehabs for a quarter of a century. eye wash for the spectators is how i regarded those countless vain attempts. they were always nothing more than efforts to appease the boss, the wife or the kids.
so, when it comes to stumbling, i know the drill all too well -- it takes what it takes.
i post what i post on these recovery boards with no illusion that i can save anyone. most people aren't willing to do the work, and that's fine with me.
i am reminded of the story of bill wilson in early sobriety himself. returning home one night, discouraged that he was unable to help another drunk, he confided to his wife, lois, that he didn't think his method was working. lois, paused then said, "of course it's working, bill. you're sober aren't you?"
still sober,
*sdr*
i couldn't agree more with you and what you have stated. i stumbled in and out of detoxes and rehabs for a quarter of a century. eye wash for the spectators is how i regarded those countless vain attempts. they were always nothing more than efforts to appease the boss, the wife or the kids.
so, when it comes to stumbling, i know the drill all too well -- it takes what it takes.
i post what i post on these recovery boards with no illusion that i can save anyone. most people aren't willing to do the work, and that's fine with me.
i am reminded of the story of bill wilson in early sobriety himself. returning home one night, discouraged that he was unable to help another drunk, he confided to his wife, lois, that he didn't think his method was working. lois, paused then said, "of course it's working, bill. you're sober aren't you?"
still sober,
*sdr*
Sharons post is right, actually you can type in keywords on the bottom relapse and read about it...
Sharron, sorry to hear about the elavil but watch your bp. You dont wanna end up like me....5 pills a day.
Sharron, sorry to hear about the elavil but watch your bp. You dont wanna end up like me....5 pills a day.
For what Wendy? Blood pressure? Mine is too low.
Jimmy quotes-"My doctor knows about my feelings, and I have a very legitimate reason for taking the medicine I am prescribed, however he says if I take them as prescribed and don't abuse them I am no addict, and he has offered to remain prescribing them as long as he keeps tabs week by week on how many I am consuming. I told him I'd think about it... "
Well then,I think I have a clearer picture.# 1 you didnt take them as prescribed and it doesnt sound like to me you have no plans to stop taking them.
Your husbands an addict and either gave you 5 of them or you stole them.
Your lying to your Dr,which I dont blame you,he would cut you off.
Telling him you would think about it means "hell no"LOL
Keep coming back.No ones attacking you.We are trying to get the facts which keep getting sketchier.Im sorry,I havent kept up with your story personally.If I have the time I will go back and read them.
Well then,I think I have a clearer picture.# 1 you didnt take them as prescribed and it doesnt sound like to me you have no plans to stop taking them.
Your husbands an addict and either gave you 5 of them or you stole them.
Your lying to your Dr,which I dont blame you,he would cut you off.
Telling him you would think about it means "hell no"LOL
Keep coming back.No ones attacking you.We are trying to get the facts which keep getting sketchier.Im sorry,I havent kept up with your story personally.If I have the time I will go back and read them.
woop, assumed it was high...I actually have more energy the lower it is...like 95/55 Im rockin...
