So my depression is starting to lift ever so slightly. A few moments here and there, peaceful, or at least not AS miserable. My husband actually notices more than I do. Something really threw me yesterday- I was out running errands with the kids, we were walking into a store and I just started to feel really good for no reason! It was a beautiful day, the cool air in my lungs, sunshine on my kids faces, burst of energy-just strong and happy. So immediately, and I mean within nanoseconds, I get the most powerful craving for pills. I was literally shaking I wanted one so bad. Thank god I don't have access to any... Ok- so the depression is hard but I just keep telling myself that it will get better, I will feel happy again eventually. Well it got better and worse at the same time. I was totally unprepared for that and now feel confused and disoriented. I just cannot imagine not wanting......whether I'm happy or sad it doesn't even matter. I cannot imagine freedom. I think it's almost safer for me to stay depressed so I don't slip, and that in itself is depressing....
It will get better. The cravings will become less and the happy feeling should emerge more and more. One day at a time. You are exactly where you are supposed to be. Keep busy but rest when you need to. Hit a meeting and share about it.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for sharing.
Thanks Alice~ I actually went to a meeting on Sat. It was AA, I went with a friend who is a recovering alcoholic. It was very inspirational. People getting their 15, 25 year chips. Little old ladies knitting, younger people, I loved the diversity. I plan on attending an NA meeting this Thurs. Do any of you guys do AA instead? So far I've liked the meetings better but I've only been to one NA so I'll try some different ones.
I attended NA for about 3 weeks. After that, I switched to AA. That was many moons ago. I felt more comfortable there, and preferred the literature, since it is original source. I think any alcohol issues I have are secondary to my drug issues, but it is all the smae thing as far as I concerned.
Hi Santee...
Do any of you guys do AA instead?
I attend AA. I'm an alcoholic and an addict. Where I attend there are a lot of us dually addicted or just plain an addict. I respect the fact it's Alcoholic's Anonymous so I try to share on my recovery and where the solutions lies and I don't get brand specific.
Keep going back with your friend. You'll fit. Step 1 is the only step where alcohol is mentioned and if you can substitute whatever your DOC is where alcohol is mentioned, you'll do fine.
Glad to see you still here & sober.
xoxo
Stacey
Do any of you guys do AA instead?
I attend AA. I'm an alcoholic and an addict. Where I attend there are a lot of us dually addicted or just plain an addict. I respect the fact it's Alcoholic's Anonymous so I try to share on my recovery and where the solutions lies and I don't get brand specific.
Keep going back with your friend. You'll fit. Step 1 is the only step where alcohol is mentioned and if you can substitute whatever your DOC is where alcohol is mentioned, you'll do fine.
Glad to see you still here & sober.
xoxo
Stacey
Thanks Stacey and AWest,
I have never had a problem with alcohol-don't even like it much-so I was not sure if AA would be ok. But addiction is addiction I'm learning. Also AA seems to have many more meetings where daycare is provided which would open up ALOT of opportunities for me. Thanks guys, I'll keep going, I don't think I'm one of those people that will drag my feet with this, so far I LOVE it. It's totally in line with my spiritual principals and I felt an instant sense of community and love. I've actually been searching for that for awhile. Who knew I would have found in in AA or NA:) God does work in mysterious ways.....
I have never had a problem with alcohol-don't even like it much-so I was not sure if AA would be ok. But addiction is addiction I'm learning. Also AA seems to have many more meetings where daycare is provided which would open up ALOT of opportunities for me. Thanks guys, I'll keep going, I don't think I'm one of those people that will drag my feet with this, so far I LOVE it. It's totally in line with my spiritual principals and I felt an instant sense of community and love. I've actually been searching for that for awhile. Who knew I would have found in in AA or NA:) God does work in mysterious ways.....
I'm like you Santee...I never had a problem with alcohol but it's a pretty good bet that I would have had I not started the program. Us addicts are really good at switching drug of choices. I started out in AA and got comfortable there. I just change the words in my head to make it work for me. I still go to NA once and awhile but not as much. Out of respect of those in AA, I introduce myself as an addict/alcoholic.