Hi guys
Well I met a lady the other night at a meeting who I think might make a good sponsor for me. She invited me to go to her home group meeting with her. So anyway this morning I called her and its all arranged.
I was so nervous to reach out and call but I did, and she sounded really happy to hear from me. Anyway so I'm going to the meeting with her tonight.
I'm thinking that on the drive up and back and at the meeting I'll get to know her a bit more and if I still like what I'm hearing that I will ask her to be my sponsor. For some reason I'm really scared to ask her. Why? This is worse than dating!!!!!
Am I just afraid of rejection? What's going on here?
I'm trying to turn it all over to my HP but I'm struggling a bit. Advice anyone?
Hi there Hun, you will see by my post, this will be the last one for awhile, but I will check in as much as I can.
As you know, I don't follow the AA steps,but I am a Christian, maybe not your ordinary one, but one none the less... I say follow what you feel, as for me it never steers me wrong.listen to that voice, and you will never go wrong...
Follow the light..it leads you out of the dark...
lovedove xoxoxo
As you know, I don't follow the AA steps,but I am a Christian, maybe not your ordinary one, but one none the less... I say follow what you feel, as for me it never steers me wrong.listen to that voice, and you will never go wrong...
Follow the light..it leads you out of the dark...
lovedove xoxoxo
Hey Idgie,
I think it is great you found someone you trust!!!
What I would do, is ask her to be your temporary sponsor...that way if she is available to sponsor you she will tell you that she can truly sponsor you and if she can't... the rejection isn't so great.
We are all so sensitive in early sobriety, everyone has gone through what you are. You just have to trust in God that the right woman will come along...you just have to take a deep breath and ask. If she says no ...then ask her if she can recommend a few ladies ...ladies with good sobriety who work a good program, and who are available to be there for you.
In my experience, having to say no to someone who asked me to sponsor them, it has been because I did not have the time to devote to that person...the time that they deserved. I would never want to short-change someone out of good sponsorship
So saying no to someone allows them to keep seeking for the right one, instead of having a sponsor who really doesn't have the time for you...but says yes to not hurt your feelings.
Shoot, she just might say Yes... wouldn't that be something!!!
Remember too....sponsors are always same-sex, keeps things uncomplicated, you do not have to keep a sponsor if you do not want to, this is not a binding contract...ask ladies in meetings if they can recommend other ladies .....don't take it personally if the 1st few say no.
God has a plan for you, you just have to keep the faith.
Pray to your HP about finding a good sponsor.
Sending you good sober energy,
Carolyn
p.s. the new kitty (Chewie) is doing well...so cute!
I think it is great you found someone you trust!!!
What I would do, is ask her to be your temporary sponsor...that way if she is available to sponsor you she will tell you that she can truly sponsor you and if she can't... the rejection isn't so great.
We are all so sensitive in early sobriety, everyone has gone through what you are. You just have to trust in God that the right woman will come along...you just have to take a deep breath and ask. If she says no ...then ask her if she can recommend a few ladies ...ladies with good sobriety who work a good program, and who are available to be there for you.
In my experience, having to say no to someone who asked me to sponsor them, it has been because I did not have the time to devote to that person...the time that they deserved. I would never want to short-change someone out of good sponsorship
So saying no to someone allows them to keep seeking for the right one, instead of having a sponsor who really doesn't have the time for you...but says yes to not hurt your feelings.
Shoot, she just might say Yes... wouldn't that be something!!!
Remember too....sponsors are always same-sex, keeps things uncomplicated, you do not have to keep a sponsor if you do not want to, this is not a binding contract...ask ladies in meetings if they can recommend other ladies .....don't take it personally if the 1st few say no.
God has a plan for you, you just have to keep the faith.
Pray to your HP about finding a good sponsor.
Sending you good sober energy,
Carolyn
p.s. the new kitty (Chewie) is doing well...so cute!
Hi Carolyn
You always make everything sound so sensible - I seem to manage to make so many mountains out of molehills!!!
Thanks for the sugestions. Yes, she has good sobriety record 8.5 years. I like how she is actively working on herself, plus she said she has now learned how to "lighten up" and she laughs a lot. I really liked that. I take things WAY too seriously sometimes and I think it would be good for me to have a mentor who could set me a good example about "lightening up." That said, she does take her sobriety pretty seriously though from what I've seen so far.
I'll let you know how things go tonight.
I'm on hols as of tomorrow but I'll try and log on before I hit the road and let you know what happened.
I really appreicate all your advice and commonsense Carolyn.
Idgie
PS Glad Chewie is settling in. Did you name him/her after Chewbacca?? Or cause he eats a lot? LOL. My cat has cabin fever right now - its been raining for days. Last night he howled for 3 hours straight I almost strangled him. Oh well, my H will have to deal with him for the next few days.
You always make everything sound so sensible - I seem to manage to make so many mountains out of molehills!!!
Thanks for the sugestions. Yes, she has good sobriety record 8.5 years. I like how she is actively working on herself, plus she said she has now learned how to "lighten up" and she laughs a lot. I really liked that. I take things WAY too seriously sometimes and I think it would be good for me to have a mentor who could set me a good example about "lightening up." That said, she does take her sobriety pretty seriously though from what I've seen so far.
I'll let you know how things go tonight.
I'm on hols as of tomorrow but I'll try and log on before I hit the road and let you know what happened.
I really appreicate all your advice and commonsense Carolyn.
Idgie
PS Glad Chewie is settling in. Did you name him/her after Chewbacca?? Or cause he eats a lot? LOL. My cat has cabin fever right now - its been raining for days. Last night he howled for 3 hours straight I almost strangled him. Oh well, my H will have to deal with him for the next few days.
Think about this....even if she can't sponsor you, you have a good sober friend with good sobriety!! I'll bet she will though.
Please, I'm the QUEEN of mountains out of molehills!! The program and a great sponsor has helped greatly with that.
Yeah, we are big Star Wars geeks at heart...named him after everybody's favorite Wookie! He looks like him in the face and Persians are walking carpets!
Chewie is all fur...actually, the animal shelter had to shave him completely (b/c of all the horrid mats!) and so now his is all FACE and had a big poof at the end of his tail. He's sooo funny looking! He looks like a little lion! But he's had a few good meals, a warm bed, room to stretch his legs and lots of TLC...I'm so glad we got him.
Please let me know how things go...I'm off to bed.
Carolyn
Please, I'm the QUEEN of mountains out of molehills!! The program and a great sponsor has helped greatly with that.
Yeah, we are big Star Wars geeks at heart...named him after everybody's favorite Wookie! He looks like him in the face and Persians are walking carpets!
Chewie is all fur...actually, the animal shelter had to shave him completely (b/c of all the horrid mats!) and so now his is all FACE and had a big poof at the end of his tail. He's sooo funny looking! He looks like a little lion! But he's had a few good meals, a warm bed, room to stretch his legs and lots of TLC...I'm so glad we got him.
Please let me know how things go...I'm off to bed.
Carolyn
Hey Idgie if you are starting to sweat on things kick back have a coffee, meditate, and allow the gratitude through. Pat yourself on the for all the good work done. Have a good weekend:)
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
Wow Idgie, you are doing the deal, you're doing terrific. I really appreciate your post and also all the feedback that's been provided because 1) I will eventually be looking for another Sponsor here where I live since my Sponsor is moving (but I'm gonna still keep working with her too) and 2) because this one young lady I use to Sponsor keeps relapsing...I just may not be the right person for her. I hope you enjoyed your holidays. Such an inspiration you are ~ love it!
Hi Zac and VWgirl - thanks for the kind words.
Hey guess what?
I DID IT. I got a sponsor. So I asked this lady and she said YES. I called her this afternoon when I got back from my trip and we are going to talk tomorrow and arrange a time to start working through Step 1 together - I'm very excited about that.
Had a good weekend, stayed sober! Friday was hard, Saturday better and Sunday was a breeze. In fact Sunday I didn't obsess about drinking at all, in fact I only thought about drinking once or twice all day. Now for some reason this evening I'm craving really bad. But I'm going to suck it up - just keeping myself busy with various things and trying to stay in today - which is something I'm struggling with today.
Anyway, just wanted to check in - hope you all are well and sober.
Love Idgie
Hey guess what?
I DID IT. I got a sponsor. So I asked this lady and she said YES. I called her this afternoon when I got back from my trip and we are going to talk tomorrow and arrange a time to start working through Step 1 together - I'm very excited about that.
Had a good weekend, stayed sober! Friday was hard, Saturday better and Sunday was a breeze. In fact Sunday I didn't obsess about drinking at all, in fact I only thought about drinking once or twice all day. Now for some reason this evening I'm craving really bad. But I'm going to suck it up - just keeping myself busy with various things and trying to stay in today - which is something I'm struggling with today.
Anyway, just wanted to check in - hope you all are well and sober.
Love Idgie
Congrats Idgie well done how one simple word YES can put to sleep all the hours of worrying about if she will say yes or no. Have a great night and read the gratitude list if the cravings continue. Good on ya Idgie
Light and love Zac
Light and love Zac
Idgie, so glad you found someone that you will be able to work with and be accountable to...once I got into the Steps my life started to change and continues to do so....I am so much more comfortable in my own skin and with who I am today...I am just so happy for you! Let us know how it went.
