Hi
I had my first consultation today with an addiction Counselor something I thought I would never do because I thought I new it all and that I could work things out for myself. I learnt a lot...she had heard all the BS before and made me do the work..gently pushing me into corners that I could not talk my way out of and one thing I disclosed brought about a catharsis which (nearly) brought me to tears. I felt rotten but then better if you know what I mean?
I have come to realise I need help and will definatley being going again next week. Good job my work are paying because I think it will take a while. She had a real nack of hitting the nail on the head with some of my problems that I did not even realise I had lol.
Paul
Paul im so proud of you hun (((((((((((hugs)))))))))))) jackie xxxx
Jackie it is so good to hear from you.
How are things
Paulx
How are things
Paulx
Hiya Paul im fine thx taking my recovery still one day at a time but trying to forget yesterdays recovery if you know what i mean lol. Im pleased your getting some help now hun. jackie xxx
Funny you should bring this up Paul because yesterday I saw a substance abuse counselor for the 2nd time in two weeks. Looks like it will be a weekly thing for awhile, but that's okay. Still, it's not comfortable as we start to peel away the layers and begin to uncover the real reasons for my pill addiction.
Part of me is fascinated with the human mind, yet part of me right now is scared to venture outside of my comfort zone. I'm going to AA/NA meetings regularly, and I'm also getting into the spiritual aspect of recovery. Shouldn't that be enough? I guess not. The truth is recovery can consist of many components, and so I need to do this. There is "stuff" from my past that needs to be confronted, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. If I don't stay on this path I'll relapse. I need to fix my head, so-to-speak. Nothing changes if nothing changes, right?
My wife has started seeing a counselor too, and as I expected that has made life at home quite tense. She's p.o.'d at me (rightfully so), and is working to heal the internal scars I have caused. She's a good person who didn't deserve this - if I could undo the past I would, but we all know that drill. All I can do is my best each and every day, and do whatever I can to reassure her that I can be trusted again. But it's going to take time. In the meantime I pray that my HP will help to bring happiness and peace back into her life. She deserves nothing less.
Take care;
Jim
Part of me is fascinated with the human mind, yet part of me right now is scared to venture outside of my comfort zone. I'm going to AA/NA meetings regularly, and I'm also getting into the spiritual aspect of recovery. Shouldn't that be enough? I guess not. The truth is recovery can consist of many components, and so I need to do this. There is "stuff" from my past that needs to be confronted, no matter how uncomfortable it may be. If I don't stay on this path I'll relapse. I need to fix my head, so-to-speak. Nothing changes if nothing changes, right?
My wife has started seeing a counselor too, and as I expected that has made life at home quite tense. She's p.o.'d at me (rightfully so), and is working to heal the internal scars I have caused. She's a good person who didn't deserve this - if I could undo the past I would, but we all know that drill. All I can do is my best each and every day, and do whatever I can to reassure her that I can be trusted again. But it's going to take time. In the meantime I pray that my HP will help to bring happiness and peace back into her life. She deserves nothing less.
Take care;
Jim
dearest paul -
the only expectations i have in life today are miracles.
you are a miracle, my friend!
let me know if there is anything i can do to help.
in your journey i see myself.
thank you.
namaste'
sammy
the only expectations i have in life today are miracles.
you are a miracle, my friend!
let me know if there is anything i can do to help.
in your journey i see myself.
thank you.
namaste'
sammy
