My daughter is a meth user.
phew...that wasn't easy to say.
She says she wants help but is sinking deeper and deeper into a weird lifestyle, surrounding herself with people who are doing many different drugs and trading things or stealing things. She cycles in and out of the, most likely typical, cycle of a meth addiction.
This week at our counselling meeting I am giving her two choices, recovery at a professional setting or leave my house.
I want to gather the courage to go to a parent of addicts meeting (nar-anon). I really want to but with everything that has happened in the last two months, my head is still spinning and my courage is severely lacking.
I am posting this, to give essence to my fear. I will continue to try to attend a meeting. They are on Mondays.
I will try to go this Monday...
I will try...
Dear Notme:
It sounds like you are making headway towards the first-step as a parent of an addict. You recognize the problem, that you are powerless over it, and that you need to turn to help.
It is not uncommon for people being a little shy about attending your first meeting. The Al Anon and NAR Anon groups usually have a hotline you can call, and a volunteer will gladly join you. Or, find a loving family member. I would encourage you to do this until you become comfortable and select a sponsor.
Mostly, I would encourage you to attend the meeting. The telephone may feel like a 100 pund barbell - summons your courage to pick it help and ask for someone to join you. If you lived in Oregon's Willamette Valley I would gladly join you.
Reaching out to this message board is a good start. You cannot do this yourself, and there are gobs of good people who have found a better way to live all around you.
Regards,
Fly
It sounds like you are making headway towards the first-step as a parent of an addict. You recognize the problem, that you are powerless over it, and that you need to turn to help.
It is not uncommon for people being a little shy about attending your first meeting. The Al Anon and NAR Anon groups usually have a hotline you can call, and a volunteer will gladly join you. Or, find a loving family member. I would encourage you to do this until you become comfortable and select a sponsor.
Mostly, I would encourage you to attend the meeting. The telephone may feel like a 100 pund barbell - summons your courage to pick it help and ask for someone to join you. If you lived in Oregon's Willamette Valley I would gladly join you.
Reaching out to this message board is a good start. You cannot do this yourself, and there are gobs of good people who have found a better way to live all around you.
Regards,
Fly
Thank you for your kind words. It's been rough for all of us. She's trying so hard to get off but her lifestyle is hurting all of us-- crime, friends who don't trust anyone, threats of violence...sigh within 2 months our lives have changed so quickly.
I didn't know about phoning first before the support group meeting, that could help me exponentially! Super info!
Thanks :)
I didn't know about phoning first before the support group meeting, that could help me exponentially! Super info!
Thanks :)
I think you will be pleasantly surprised in attending your first meeting. In most cases, the newcomer is the lifeblood for the program. In my experience, I was surprised at how quickly I felt accepted, welcomed, and understood. I wish the same for you.
Good luck,
-Fly
Good luck,
-Fly
Dear Not Me
Either way, recovery or out of your home, you are still you and she is still she and you both bring self to this relationship. You both contribute to the problem. Naranon or Al-Anon will only help you to be the best you, you will get to bring recovery into your home regardless of others. This is a spiritual problem and it needs a spiritual solution, recovery programs show us the way. They provide us with principals, universal truths, tools, we can use in area of our lives. I hope you'll give recovery a try. When we focus on ourselves, the only ones we have any control over, miracles happen. Best to you. Know you're loved.
Either way, recovery or out of your home, you are still you and she is still she and you both bring self to this relationship. You both contribute to the problem. Naranon or Al-Anon will only help you to be the best you, you will get to bring recovery into your home regardless of others. This is a spiritual problem and it needs a spiritual solution, recovery programs show us the way. They provide us with principals, universal truths, tools, we can use in area of our lives. I hope you'll give recovery a try. When we focus on ourselves, the only ones we have any control over, miracles happen. Best to you. Know you're loved.
I am going through the same thing, my 29 year old daughter is going through the same and getting worse. She gets better but won't go to rehab. Today she inhaled some type of aerosol, I thought she was dead. I know she does this stuff but I have never witnessed it. I feel bad because I yelled at her, I just don't understand, I know I need a support group for parents going through this with a child. I need to work on understanding it myself. I am glad I come across this site.
Turtlemom
Do you feel like nothing is real? Like you cannot catch up with any sort of reality?
This is how I am feeling lately. It's taking a toll. I took the week off work. I haven't seen my daughter in three days. Her life moves so fast, I cannot keep up and I don't want to!
She's not the young woman I knew only weeks ago. She's suddenly propelled herself into crime and talks like it's awesome.
I'm so confused.
But tomorrow is the Nar-anon meeting in our town and I plan to go!
At the very least, they might have a good cup of coffee there ;)
Do you feel like nothing is real? Like you cannot catch up with any sort of reality?
This is how I am feeling lately. It's taking a toll. I took the week off work. I haven't seen my daughter in three days. Her life moves so fast, I cannot keep up and I don't want to!
She's not the young woman I knew only weeks ago. She's suddenly propelled herself into crime and talks like it's awesome.
I'm so confused.
But tomorrow is the Nar-anon meeting in our town and I plan to go!
At the very least, they might have a good cup of coffee there ;)
I know that fear feeling before stepping into that strange place. Someone told me to take a leap of faith that this may be the place I find the answers I was looking for. It was. So I hope you guys take that same leap of faith and find some peace.
It just wasn't my night. I drove out to where my maps said the meeting was located but it's a dead end. Each group is different and the one that Fly goes to must be awesome because they seems so very supportive. Which makes me very thankful that I found this site. But the Nar-anon group here in my town, doesn't answer their phone so I couldn't get help to find the place let alone find someone to go with me.
I'm strong though (at least that's what I am going to keep telling myself). With strength I will keep seeking information. I cannot give up. This kid of mine is amazing and she deserves the support from her mom but not the enabling.
Tomorrow her and I will talk. I haven't seen her in five days. That makes my heart panic but tomorrow...tomorrow...we will talk.
I'm strong though (at least that's what I am going to keep telling myself). With strength I will keep seeking information. I cannot give up. This kid of mine is amazing and she deserves the support from her mom but not the enabling.
Tomorrow her and I will talk. I haven't seen her in five days. That makes my heart panic but tomorrow...tomorrow...we will talk.
Dear Friends, We have all been bought together by the common thread of our children's addiction....I don't know how it came to be or where it even began...What I want to try and express to all of you is this....we have to be strong educate ourselves about addiction...we need to make decisions with our heads rather then our hearts...if something doesn't make sense then we cannot accept it...Mom you mentioned courage ...Courage comes in many different categories. ..Courage is getting up in the morning knowing your child is addicted yet doing the best you can to get through the day...Courage is trying to be a Mom a Dad to your other children when all you feel like doing is crawling up into a ball cause you hurt so bad.. Courage is forcing a smile when you don't have one left....Courage is trying to exist on no sleep cause of worrying where they are who their with and are they still alive...We have to do our best to still try and be faithful to who we are as the person we were...we have to sadly admit there are choices we cannot make for others. ..but on the other hand we also don't have to except their choices...we have to go on be Mothers Father's we have to try and keep intact the original foundation of the home....we need to do that so the whole integrity of the family structure does not crumble...we need to strengthen ourselves through any Avenue available to us,we must educate ourselves and we must band together and realize none of us are alone...we have to keep ourselves intact so when our kids do make the decision to try and change their path we can do our best to cheer them on...it's been 10 long years now...but I have to have faith that someday Chris will remember life before drugs ...and return to the man I know he is capable of being...there's no shame in all of us supporting each other either through here or meetings...strength in numbers.
