Cowgirl i read something u said in one of ur posts...."25 years of not being able to manage my life because of my drug use makes me an addict." It really hit a chord with me, made me think, made me evaluate the past 3-4yrs of my life at least and made me realise i have been unable to manage my life for this period because of pills, they controlled/still control to a certain extent, not as bad but still me! ive been, am still a prescription addict....thanku for making me sit up and think about this period of my life.
p.s im a girl by the way, my name might make people think im a guy i just like elvis. x.....im tying to taper off xanax at present.
I'm glad you got something out of it..it is the first step in the 12 steps of NA/AA. Our lives are unmanageable....
Mine has gotten better, because I have information now. And knowledge is power. For me, it's a total power play and I do not like being out of control.
I figured you were a female... lol
How is the tapering going? Never worked for me. I never had the kind of strength to have those pills in the house. Even if someone help them for me, I figured out a way to get them. I understand though that xanax is different from painpills when going off of them..they are a little more dangerous and shouldn't be done c/t.
Take care..
Cowgirl
Mine has gotten better, because I have information now. And knowledge is power. For me, it's a total power play and I do not like being out of control.
I figured you were a female... lol
How is the tapering going? Never worked for me. I never had the kind of strength to have those pills in the house. Even if someone help them for me, I figured out a way to get them. I understand though that xanax is different from painpills when going off of them..they are a little more dangerous and shouldn't be done c/t.
Take care..
Cowgirl
Thanks for replying cowgirl. The tapering isnt easy to be honest....my nana holds the weeks worth of pills for me at her house one street away, she used to hide them from me, but she doesnt anymore....im not sure why?! i know exactly where she puts them, in the dresser besides her bed, i could go there anytime and take them, infact sometimes when i go down there i go up to the bedroom, go in, just sit on the side of the bed take them out and count them, after a few minutes she will come up the hallway and just look at me.....i put them back in and she tells me how proud she is of me....there is only really one reason i dont take them.....because it would break her heart! my grandparents raised me, i am not close to my parents, my grandmother is my world, every time i have dissapointed her in my life all she has done is picked me up and helped me.....i cant do that to her anymore.....as much as i like the xanax, they will never come before my nan. take care xx
Your post made me cry.. my Grandmother was my life and I let her down. I used to take pills from her all of the time, she knew I did, and never said a word. She died the year befoer I went to treatment. I never got to tell her how sorry I was for what I had done.
I hope she knows.
Hang in there Elvis. You have all of the right reasons to do this.
Cowgirl
I hope she knows.
Hang in there Elvis. You have all of the right reasons to do this.
Cowgirl
yes evlis cowgirl is our rock here but she is also our cushion she has aheart of gold no paltum cant spell it worth more than gold you listen to this wise sole that she is also cowgirl I sent you 2 e mails did you get them 1 3days an1 day ago take care both of you poopie
Thanx cowgirl and hi yspearing. im really sorry to hear of ur story but im sure ur grandma knows! i have let my nan down alot in the past, my parents and sister are like a little circle of their own although i do get along with my sis most of the time, i have no support other than my grandparents, and i really dont feel loved by anyone else than them! so this is now the drive that keeps me going....for them....to be honest i dont even think im doing it for myself, i think im doing it for them, mainly my nan! i dont know if thats a good thing or not?, the fact that i dont really care about myself only that my nan is happy with what im doing!?
Everyone makes mistakes cowgirl, and im sure ur nan knows what a good person u are! all my love. x
Everyone makes mistakes cowgirl, and im sure ur nan knows what a good person u are! all my love. x
Just re-reading what I wrote about my Gran, made me cringe. It's still so fresh in my mind and makes me want to die. Funny, I've hurt a lot of people in my life, done some awful things but I've been able to take those things and examine it, deal with it, and then let it go...I haven't been able to do that with my Gran. Too painful? Probably.
Poopie.. you're such a doll. I have not gotten your emails???? Please try again. Use the email that is here on this post.
Cowgirl
Poopie.. you're such a doll. I have not gotten your emails???? Please try again. Use the email that is here on this post.
Cowgirl
Just wanted to jump in and say both of you made me cry. I love my grandma so much. We are so close and when she passes away it may kill me. I know I have disappinted her to many times in my life and she has always forgiven me.. So Elvis I think staying clean for your nana is great. I have stayed clean for months for others in my life besides myself.
Cowgirl, I am sure your grandma knows how sorry you are and is with you everyday and sees your progress.. One day you will meet again. Take care! Rae
Cowgirl, I am sure your grandma knows how sorry you are and is with you everyday and sees your progress.. One day you will meet again. Take care! Rae
Thank you Rae...what is it about Grandparents? I hope I'm half as good as she was when it's my turn.
I did go to her grave for the first time this past summer and put a note that I had wrote in a small hole next to her headstone. It helped a little but is far from the closure I was looking for. Ok, enough..I can't go dress shopping with my future daughter inlaw, looking like this... puffy eyes, nose a runnin!
Love you guys
cowgirl
I did go to her grave for the first time this past summer and put a note that I had wrote in a small hole next to her headstone. It helped a little but is far from the closure I was looking for. Ok, enough..I can't go dress shopping with my future daughter inlaw, looking like this... puffy eyes, nose a runnin!
Love you guys
cowgirl
Hey Cowgirl,
Elvis posts alot on the other forums too. I think shes in 'Other prescription Drugs'. Watch out she blames the doctors for her addiction to xanax, other narcotics for headaches, and 3 other drugs too. I think shes from Australia. She's another Mitzy.
Hope your doing well Cowgirl and poopie (Yspearing).
Elvis posts alot on the other forums too. I think shes in 'Other prescription Drugs'. Watch out she blames the doctors for her addiction to xanax, other narcotics for headaches, and 3 other drugs too. I think shes from Australia. She's another Mitzy.
Hope your doing well Cowgirl and poopie (Yspearing).
Cowgirl,
Just talk to your grandmother, she hears you. And remember how much love she showed to you all her life. I bet she was a very forgiving person too. Trust in that to know that she forgave you.
Love you,
Just talk to your grandmother, she hears you. And remember how much love she showed to you all her life. I bet she was a very forgiving person too. Trust in that to know that she forgave you.
Love you,
Cowgirl,
She knows.
Elvis,
HI Girl, how are ya?
Briar
She knows.
Elvis,
HI Girl, how are ya?
Briar
Thank you Shar... I stewed over this all day (really thought I was past it fro some reason) and decided that I have to let it go. You're right, she was a very forgiving person and probably never gave it a thought. I need to keep stuff like this close to my heart as a reminder though.
Kiwi..good to hear from you..I've been wondering where you are.
Love you all
(you too Briar)
Cowgirl
Kiwi..good to hear from you..I've been wondering where you are.
Love you all
(you too Briar)
Cowgirl
Cowgirl im feeling bad, i didnt know that this happened with ur grandma, and i didnt mean to dredge it all up for u! Kiwi i had no ill intent when i posted to cowgirl, i dont understand why u always seem only to have negative things to say about me. Yes i do post in the "other prescriptions" page cuz im tapering off xanax, and yes i do come from australia so what does that matter? u come from canada dont u? and i dont say anything about that? i dont get it?
I agree with the others cowgirl i think ur grandma knows what a great person u have become. Hello to u too briar! :) and rae the way u said about how u feel about ur nan, u took my breath away....cuz thats how close i am to mine too! xx
Thanks to everyone who have kind words and encouragement! xxxxx
I agree with the others cowgirl i think ur grandma knows what a great person u have become. Hello to u too briar! :) and rae the way u said about how u feel about ur nan, u took my breath away....cuz thats how close i am to mine too! xx
Thanks to everyone who have kind words and encouragement! xxxxx
How in the world would you know that I had issues with my Gran...? Please. You just made me think is all and that's a good thing.
Take Care
Cowgirl
Take Care
Cowgirl
Hi,
I was really close to my Grandmother too, my dad's mom. She passed away a few years ago, she was my world and I could never imagine a world without her in it. We were very close and I think about her everyday. We called her Jake, it took me a long time before I was able to mourn her passing. She was a beautiful lady, kind and would help anyone without a second thought. A southern woman with values and morals that if everyone had a little of this world
would be a better place. Everyone she crossed paths with is a better person for having known her. Here is a picture of my Grandmother ( Jake ) and I.......
Take care.......................................God bless.................................Bob
Good luck with your tapper Elvis...really....Hey, I'm an Elvis fan too, best voice ever I think, my favorite Elvis years are between 1968 - 1976 musically speaking,
and of course 55-1957 he was great too......Take care........................Bob
I was really close to my Grandmother too, my dad's mom. She passed away a few years ago, she was my world and I could never imagine a world without her in it. We were very close and I think about her everyday. We called her Jake, it took me a long time before I was able to mourn her passing. She was a beautiful lady, kind and would help anyone without a second thought. A southern woman with values and morals that if everyone had a little of this world
would be a better place. Everyone she crossed paths with is a better person for having known her. Here is a picture of my Grandmother ( Jake ) and I.......
Take care.......................................God bless.................................Bob
Good luck with your tapper Elvis...really....Hey, I'm an Elvis fan too, best voice ever I think, my favorite Elvis years are between 1968 - 1976 musically speaking,
and of course 55-1957 he was great too......Take care........................Bob
Thanku cowgirl, that is a lovely pic and post bob! here is a pic of me and my nan and pa. I wear a locket with them in it around my neck! Oh and thankyou for the kind words bob, and ur an elvis fan too! yay! :)
Hi Elvis,
Yeah, my favorite album I think is probably "From Elvis In Memphis", or "Raised On Rock" or the "Today" album " Elvis Presley Boulevard" is good too. Hell, there all good! lol
Take care.......................................God bless....................................Bob
Yeah, my favorite album I think is probably "From Elvis In Memphis", or "Raised On Rock" or the "Today" album " Elvis Presley Boulevard" is good too. Hell, there all good! lol
Take care.......................................God bless....................................Bob
Hey Elvis...........
I love the pic with you and your grandparents! I miss mine very much and wish they were with me still...........
God Bless, Rus
PS> I also love the quote at the bottom of your post..........not too many people know who Brandon was.......
I love the pic with you and your grandparents! I miss mine very much and wish they were with me still...........
God Bless, Rus
PS> I also love the quote at the bottom of your post..........not too many people know who Brandon was.......
Yeh they are all good aren't they bob! lol. As i was driving home today, i was listening to Kentucky Rain in my car on the tape player, and it was raining too! lol. For xmas last year my good friend brought me an elvis jewlellery box which plays Love Me Tender. Often when im getting ready for bed just to wind down or relax, or whatever i wind it up and just listen to it.....or play an elvis cd, or record, cuz i have alot of his songs still on record that they havent still put on cd yet which is a bit of a pain! his voice soothes me.....
Hey thanx rus...yeh i think it was tragic the way brandon died...ive watched "the crow" so many times, i think some of those movies with that kind of story line....i dont know if ur tempting fate? sounds silly perhaps?! ive read alot of his interviews though and i liked the kind of person he was. anyone who doesnt know Brandon Lee, is Bruce Lee's son, (martial arts) both now deceased. very sad how he was engaged and u know at his funeral his fiance wore her wedding dress and apparently brandon was burried in his tux....i cried when i read that!
he was around 25 or so, could of been a bit younger....she has moved on now apparently....as life goes on u do i guess.....
well my sister has just brought a new computer for herself and to be able to have herself connected shes getting this guy (whom i dont agree with often) to come out and fiddle with my comp tom night, to connect her to cable, i think i will have to sit in my room and turn elvis up as i will be quite irate lol....ok catch u later guys, all my luv xxx
Hey thanx rus...yeh i think it was tragic the way brandon died...ive watched "the crow" so many times, i think some of those movies with that kind of story line....i dont know if ur tempting fate? sounds silly perhaps?! ive read alot of his interviews though and i liked the kind of person he was. anyone who doesnt know Brandon Lee, is Bruce Lee's son, (martial arts) both now deceased. very sad how he was engaged and u know at his funeral his fiance wore her wedding dress and apparently brandon was burried in his tux....i cried when i read that!
he was around 25 or so, could of been a bit younger....she has moved on now apparently....as life goes on u do i guess.....
well my sister has just brought a new computer for herself and to be able to have herself connected shes getting this guy (whom i dont agree with often) to come out and fiddle with my comp tom night, to connect her to cable, i think i will have to sit in my room and turn elvis up as i will be quite irate lol....ok catch u later guys, all my luv xxx
