OK , i have been clean for 6 months and all of a sudden i start to crave those little white pills, ahhh.. plus i am in a lot of pain i suffer from fibermialga(sp)?
i stay at home with the twins all day, and that is so stressfull and all i do is go nuts and think about geeting high??, today is one of these days!! i am pulling my hair out!! please help me!! fa
You should take your babies out for a walk. Nothing worse than being trapped inside. I can understand...I stayed indoors all weekend. I have two small children. I feel so horrible and guilty. It's hard to even relate to them. I forced myself to go to the park yesterday. I just wanted to be in the safe harbor of my bedroom. Right now I am at work and my head is so full of clouds I cannot do my job.
thanks for the reply, i shouls as a matter of fact the lady next door had twin girls as well, and she is always walking somewhere and tells me to go with, but i feel so safe in my house i suffer from social anxiety really bad and so this is my problem, but i do need to get out that is why i wanna get a job, but day care costs wayyy to much! what to do about that and we really need the money we are struggling!! so bad and x-mas is comming as well and i want all of us to have a good x-mas, no for us but my kids!! thanks for your responce i am going nuts!!!! lol
lady, I know where you are. my daughters are 3 and 6, and the stress of kids is one of the major reasons I used...
sick, isn't it? what happened to that maternal instinct??lol...
I don't know where you are, but try to get out of the house like the other poster said. Distract yourself, and get your a** to a meeting...
And then, drudge up your darkest moment of how you felt in withdrawl, compare that to the way you feel now....
Hope it passes soon, and don't use, no matter what....
kerry
sick, isn't it? what happened to that maternal instinct??lol...
I don't know where you are, but try to get out of the house like the other poster said. Distract yourself, and get your a** to a meeting...
And then, drudge up your darkest moment of how you felt in withdrawl, compare that to the way you feel now....
Hope it passes soon, and don't use, no matter what....
kerry
Thanks for the reply u all trully know what i am going thru, thanks sooo much for all of your support! i really appreciate and i am going to a meeting tonite, thanks for the luv all, hope to see more ideas soon as i need all the support i can get!! fa
Dear fa, I know what you're feeling, if that helps. You're rolling along just great and all of a sudden....pow, it hits you from nowhere. Just happened to me too. I am right at three months. I thought the worst of that was over, shows what I knew huh? Did you get that lovely sense of hopelessness too? What's the use? Why am I doing this? It would be so easy...bla bla bla. Meanwhile, life is going on around you, a million things to do, and you don't want to do any of them. I'm told this too will pass. From what I've recently learned, this happens at certain points in recovery, three months, six etc..I guess we are just all where we are suppossed to be. I hope it's over soon. And as for the kids part, I understand that too. And Christmas, money, bills, stress, no wonder we feel this way, lol. Hang tough, we'll all be okay as long as we don't use. One thing is for sure, we'll be giving our kids the gift of a mommy who is clean, and no money can buy that. Love and God bless, Kat
Thanks Kat , that was so sweet, it brought tears to my eyes and you are sooo correct!! tanks sweetie for being there 4-me all of you, take care all and keep them comming!! fa
I left the house for a few w/o kids and i feel alot better, did a little shopping, and ran some errans, so just wanted to let cha all know how i was doing, thanks for listening all of ya!!
See...it does feel better to get out. You cannot stay in the house. You have to get your body used to feeling "normal" again. Being on pills isn't normal. I look at people in stores, driving their cars, etc., and wonder if they are on pills. I can't look at the pharmacy the old way I used to. I am disgusted that I let myself get this way. I am also proud that I have gotten to day 9 and not died. You have gone so far...do not start the pills again. I have had those wanting feelings but remember how horribly bad it is to withdraw. I can relate about the social feelings. The pills made me supermom. Now I feel weak. The pills are evil. Not your friend.
Hey Mitzy/FA, how ya doing? Nice to see you back.
Cowgirl
Cowgirl
KATBOYD - Sorry to hear that you fell. I have been very light on my feet, to say the least. I can say that today I feel 1% better. It's been 10 days and if I can keep chipping away, I know that this will lift. I was fortunate enough (HA) to have surgery so I am not going back to work until next Monday. I couldn't even imagine working. Please be careful driving! I have not really craved the drugs since I stopped. It's mostly a physical thing now and about 30 % mental. I know that WD's are not pleasant but it's like a little XMAS present that will keep me from using again in the future. If it wasn't so painful, the whole world would probably be addicted.
If I had to do it over again (which I never will), I may have tapered. I have lost 16 pounds in the last 10 days. Understanding this, I am cramming the food and vitamins down and walking every day. Right now I have set 3 goals:
1. Taking care of my daughter the best way I know how.
2. Getting back to being productive at work.
3. Assessing life and making changes where necessary.
I think stopping is the easy part.
Take care.
Eddie
If I had to do it over again (which I never will), I may have tapered. I have lost 16 pounds in the last 10 days. Understanding this, I am cramming the food and vitamins down and walking every day. Right now I have set 3 goals:
1. Taking care of my daughter the best way I know how.
2. Getting back to being productive at work.
3. Assessing life and making changes where necessary.
I think stopping is the easy part.
Take care.
Eddie
