We have been struggling with our 27 year old daughters drug abuse for several years. She has gone from pills to heroine. She over dosed two months ago on heroine. She has no place to live, and was recently beat up by her dealers girlfriend. Her phone is off. We can't get in touch with her. We have hired a private investigator to find her. We have offered her rehab, an apartment of her own, everything. At this point, we have told the PI to track her, and ifor she engages, in any illegal activity, to call the cops and have her arrested. Then we will ask the judge to remand her to our custody, put her in rehab. This is horrible. We feel helpless.
Hello, A lot of us understand what you are going thru and feel your pain. As you read posts you will see similar stories. 1. Read 'What Not To Do" about 20 posts down. It was written a few years ago by a mom and it was found and re-posted. 2. Go to NarAnon meetings. 3. Get her in a good rehab, halfway house situation where she can be independent, but supervised, and learn what she needs to know about addiction.
NarAnon will help you detach with love. The detaching helps the addict to be responsible for their actions. Enabling does not help.
It is odd that we have to change in order for them to change.
NarAnon will help you detach with love. The detaching helps the addict to be responsible for their actions. Enabling does not help.
It is odd that we have to change in order for them to change.
It's a horrible thing you're going through. I'm sorry. There are a couple others on here that also don't know where their children are. At least I know where mine is, even if it's not the best place.
Have you attended any Nar Anon or Al Anon meetings? If not, you should. You'll learn that ultimately you are powerless of your daughter's addiction. Even if you somehow find her and get her into rehab, it's still always going to be up to her if she stays clean or not. It sounds like you are living a life of hell with having to deal with her addiction. Believe it or not, you can have a measure of peace if you leave your daughter's life in her hands and take care of your own. God bless.
Michelle
Have you attended any Nar Anon or Al Anon meetings? If not, you should. You'll learn that ultimately you are powerless of your daughter's addiction. Even if you somehow find her and get her into rehab, it's still always going to be up to her if she stays clean or not. It sounds like you are living a life of hell with having to deal with her addiction. Believe it or not, you can have a measure of peace if you leave your daughter's life in her hands and take care of your own. God bless.
Michelle
Hi
I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been doing everything to fix my son. That's what we do ... As mothers. We take care of our children and fix everything. 8 years later I realize I cannot fix my son. He has to want it. As long as I get involved he will never hit his bottom. Let go and let God take control. Get help for yourself because you will need to be strong. I'm still in the middle of it all and trying to find a good support group. WE CAN DO THIS. We have to!
I'm sorry you are going through this. I've been doing everything to fix my son. That's what we do ... As mothers. We take care of our children and fix everything. 8 years later I realize I cannot fix my son. He has to want it. As long as I get involved he will never hit his bottom. Let go and let God take control. Get help for yourself because you will need to be strong. I'm still in the middle of it all and trying to find a good support group. WE CAN DO THIS. We have to!
If you track her down only to know where she is and do not under any circumstances approach or interfere ...it may give you some relief. .however. .it may also agitate you more and be more difficult if you cannot handle how she is living or what she has become or looks like...so be very careful...this is for you...not her...understand that first...if you track her down to confront her...arrest her or to "help" her ..she may possibly decide to go deeper and never return. ..she will see it as betrayal ...a huge invasion of her life...it will quite possibly turn out the opposite of what you expect...you cannot force us to want or to get or to stay clean...and we will hide our own if needed...I've been tracked...and was in bad shape when found...I fought like hell..you want to leave a note in a gallery or wherever i am ...it better say only you love me...nothing else...you find me nodding ..don't wake me...don't bother me...don't talk to me...dont approach me if i dont know your coming..dope is illegal....we know this already...what we have do sometimes to get it is also ilegal...we do it anyways...you will not make it better in any way if you interfere...the pain of withdrawal is greater fear..you will not stop the hunger...the need or the want.. i came back in when I was ready to...listen to the family members here. .they know what their about...I'm a heroin addict. ..I know what I would do and what I feel and have done if someone. ..anyone...would try and control me..especially when I'm using...just saying
