it's been 2 days since detox ended for my daughter. she has gone for her daily dose of methadone.
Except for telling us about the day to day activities, and some of the people wo were in the center with her, she has been acting as if nothing happened. by that I mean, she has said she is sorry for worrying me, etc, but seems to not really have any remorse, or even admission that all the deceit of her children, the borrowing their money to supply herself, allowing people in the house who the children knew were not good people.was anything other than just the way it was.
Maybe i am expecting too much, i'm not sure. Should I point this out to her, or should I give her a little more time and some meetings where maybe she will see things more clearly?
I hope you can give me some insight into how I should progress.
I am going to some meetings this week also, so perhaps I will be better able to handle things
Thanks for any advice I can get. God bless us all
Just my opinion but anything said right now would not be sincere any how. She has only detoxed she has not made any steps to right her wrongs and chances are until she seeeks some form of recovery she will not "see the light" I am sure she is a good person. She has alot of healing to do. Wich must sound awful with all the people she has hurt and all the drama she has caused. But she needs time to focus. If that is what she chooses. Just take care of yourself in the meantime. Does she go to any 12 step or counseling?
She hasn't gone to a meeting yet, she has a list and has a one on one counseling session set up with a counselor at a women's health center (she says)
I am going to suggest to her that she go to a meeting tonight or tom'w in addition to the private session.
I discussed this with her 17 yr old daughter just now, and she too feels that it seems "too easy" and we are going to tell her our concerns.
My daughter has the mot wonderful young girl who has been through more thn she should, and still is going to school and achieving a great deal. We have allready decided that if her mother messes up again, she will come to live with grandma.
I am going to suggest to her that she go to a meeting tonight or tom'w in addition to the private session.
I discussed this with her 17 yr old daughter just now, and she too feels that it seems "too easy" and we are going to tell her our concerns.
My daughter has the mot wonderful young girl who has been through more thn she should, and still is going to school and achieving a great deal. We have allready decided that if her mother messes up again, she will come to live with grandma.
Sounds like you guys have a plan that is great. Now what about you? I don't have all the answers by any means. But you should find some help..al-anon or something similar. Also post here on the Families/loved ones of addicts board. You will find it on the message board tab. There are some very cool people who have been where you are at right now that can help a ton! Look for Kerr ber, Heavenbound,or hurtdad. They can give you better advice than I can but hang in there it is possible to recover. Just don't forget yourselves in this mess. Lots of love and respect.
Jane
Jane
Hiya Last, I always agree with the jumping, pink heart...LOL.....I definately agree that right now it's so early on, and she'd be mouthing words.
Plus personally for me.....that GUILT......I had to pretend it didn't exist because if it did I think I'd go to use again......also we're not in a real happpy place nor is our families and the people we hurt so bad so her saying anything....it could cause friction......we're selfish people....and in that place she's at.....we do that.
Talk about the people you met at detox.......that insensed my family....like oh you stole from your own kids, and pawned precious heirlooms,and you tell me about some other no good lousy junkie????????? Oh she hated that.
In my heart I was drowning with guilt, and I felt awful, but I was not ready to even admit it to myself let alone my family.
You know I finally said I AM SORRY maybe when I was like nine months clean?
That's a long time, and my child finally said to me a few months ago.....I JUST FORGAVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was floored like you're just NOW forgiving me after two and a half years, and then I thought it took me waaay longer than that to rip my entire family apart.
Best to you....I have you in my thoughts and prayers.....hopefully she'll come around, and you're wise to ask about it....good lookout, mom.
Plus personally for me.....that GUILT......I had to pretend it didn't exist because if it did I think I'd go to use again......also we're not in a real happpy place nor is our families and the people we hurt so bad so her saying anything....it could cause friction......we're selfish people....and in that place she's at.....we do that.
Talk about the people you met at detox.......that insensed my family....like oh you stole from your own kids, and pawned precious heirlooms,and you tell me about some other no good lousy junkie????????? Oh she hated that.
In my heart I was drowning with guilt, and I felt awful, but I was not ready to even admit it to myself let alone my family.
You know I finally said I AM SORRY maybe when I was like nine months clean?
That's a long time, and my child finally said to me a few months ago.....I JUST FORGAVE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was floored like you're just NOW forgiving me after two and a half years, and then I thought it took me waaay longer than that to rip my entire family apart.
Best to you....I have you in my thoughts and prayers.....hopefully she'll come around, and you're wise to ask about it....good lookout, mom.
