Daughter On Crack

My 20 yr old daughter has been on crack for almost 3 years. About 2 years ago she went into a treatment program, met a boy, fell in love and he and her were sober for almost a year. Now they broke up, he moved and my daughter started using again about 2 months ago. This relapse is 50 times worse than what it was before. She won't listen to nothing I say and started pawning things from the house to get money to support her use. She has been spotted at some of the worse neighborhoods you can imagine. Even cops have been shot at in that neighborhood. It has taken such a toll on me that my health isn't well. I finally took the advice of everyone saying to put her out and use "tough love". I did that. Now she is proscetuting and even has a pimp (she's white and he's black). I heard he also sells crack but doesn't use himself. My daughter was raised in a well respectable family. She is so young and petite. She told me she is so ashamed and regretful but that she can't stop using. I think my and her life is ruined. Sometimes I think that if I didn't make her leave home, she wouldn't have gotten to the point of what may be of no return. I wake up in the middle of the night and wonder if she is still alive. I am living in hell.
I'm so sorry about your situation. My brother in law has a cocaine addiction. We don't know what to do. It's hurting his brother and killing his mother slowly. What do you do? How can you help someone that doesn't want to be helped?. So many different people told me that unless he hits rock bottom, he won't want to get help. He does not admit to his problem. When he's high he does not make any sense. Is tough love a good idea. His mother loves him very much. That's her baby. He's a good person. He comes from a very good family. I don't know why he chose to get involved with drugs. Have you been getting any help by going to meetings. A counselor told me that even if he doesn't want to go to meetings, my husband and I should to know how to deal with it. To hear other stories. My husband and I will go to the meetings to try and cope with sitution, learn how to talk to him and not get him angry. It's tough, we're lost. Hopefully the meetings will take us into the right direction. Good Luck to you, I wish you the best, I hope your daughter will come around and realize that life is too precious.
Stressed Mom,
Check with your local police department, Department of Mental Health and Hygine or the County Courthouse to see if your state recognizes the Baker Act, It is a way of getting people into a mental health hospital who are in danger of hurting themselves. Also if she has stolen anything from you, press charges, being in jail is better than being in the street or worse. Write the judge and ask him to sentance her to rehab. I know you are living on an emotional roller coaster. Tough Love is what you have to do. Please think of yourself, try going to an Al-Anon meeting. Everyone there has either been in your shoes or are in your shoes now. You have to learn how to love with detachment.
ah hello,.im sorry to hear that your daughter has become a prostitute. and that she is on crack. i am an x cocaine user, and i will tell you that regardless of what anyone saids, shes YOUR daughter and you should tell her to come back home!!
Id rather my daughter suffer from an addiction, rather than an addiction and an HIV diseaze. If she has a pimp, things are bad.really bad.....i would make sure she came back home and understood she has a home with me.many girls dont make it out of that life, the last thing i would do is push her away. there may not be a tomorrow for your daughter.thats why sometimes we cant listen tyo the bullshi* people say about tough love excexc....addiction doesnt have any descrminations, and tough love sure as hell isnt going to make addiction run away!
if you get her to return and she leaves again willingly, then thats somehting u have no power over, but dont let it be somehting that you provoked. Your daughter isnt safe out in the streets, with a pimp that god knows what he makes her do.....for gods sake, seek your daughter out and bring her home. we have to understand shes an addict and crack is soo powerful!did you really think that throwing her out was going to change her addictive personality. i am not trying to give u a gulit trip, i just want you to do the right thing for you. FOR YOU. not for the world,but for you.
take care
and please let me know whats happening.
another thing...about bthe "baker act"...that is one thing u can do if she refuses to go into treatment. only if she refuses to go into treatment should you baker act your daughter....
i do agree with the baker act when things are as out of hand as they seem to be for you and your daughter....what i DONT agree with, is JAIL.
excuse me but
many will say that she should be in jail and that you should write the judge exc...but mrs, if u havent been in jail, as im sure u have not, there is no such thing as recovery in there. I was in jail.....and let me elaborate on that a bit for you before you go and make a mistake such as sending your daughter to a cell!
there was alot of racism, alot of fighting,yeah, thats what you learn in jail. there is no recovery, just mere abstinence of the drug (and thats if the guards arent bringing drugs in).mere abstinence isnt what your daughter needs mrs. its a change of mind that she needs, a change of her way of life. a counceler....the twelve steps....meetings. she will not find anything good in a jail cell....all there is there is alot of hatred...alot of blacks against whites....alot of sadness.
dont let people fool you into thinking jail is a recovery place with a picket fence. many that tell you to send her off to jail are people that HAVE NEVER BEEN THERE. i have been there so i speak from expirience. if u want your daughter to despise you and you want her to learn a few nasty tricks,and make a few delinquent friends while shes at it, then u can follow that advice of pressing charges.other than that, i think we can look [passed material posessions and see the bigger picture here dont u think. your daughter is suffering from an addiction that can and will destroy her. so first thing is first!let us not worry over the tv she stold or the ring she ponded.....this is a life and death situation......bring her home, talk to her.....try to make her go into a residential program.....if that doesnt work, baker act. please....do not put her in jail.u have no idea what goes on in there,behind closed doord, where everyone is just a number and the strongest only survive.
take care
Leiana,
You are correct in assuming I have never been to jail. But I tried so many times to allow my daughter back into my home. I spent my life savings on rehabs, over $40,000 in two years. Only to have her walk out and head back to the streets. I would allow her to come home over and over only to come home to everything being gone. TV's, VCR's, Stereos, jewlery my grandmother left me, her sisters graduation ring, etc. etc. The monetary things can be replaced eventually. But some things can't. Then she tried to get her younger sister high on crack and steal things. She tried to get her sister to steal from her friends telling her I wouldn't give her money for her depression medicane. I threw her out when I came home to find her turning tricks in my home to get money for crack. I had her arrested, thrown in jail. The judge ordered her to rehab in another state, away from her elements. The counselor says she is doing well. I have not been to see her and have blocked my phone from her calls. She has to prove to me that she want's to take control of her life. I can't do that for her anymore. I finally have a little peace in my life, my own health is improving, her sister is in college and doing well. I want so bad for my oldest to come home healthy and happy some day. I will welcome her with open arms. But she has to get clean and stay clean first.
Check out the thoughts and observations section of the website below.
I think it can help all of us.

http://www.crackreality.com/
hi pat
i never meant anything i wrote to stressed out mom to offend you no'r was i speaking of you when i wrote that many people advise jails yet havent been there.
Im sorry to hear about your daughter,im sure u love her alot and no doubt it does sound like you tried to keep her in the home yet were powerless over her.
i dont think what u did was wrong, she was way out of control like many people become when influenced by crack cocaine.if she stold everything asnd tried to get her baby sister on it, sounds like she was far gone....i understand why u would recommend jail.you speak from your personal expirience...and though i am against jails amd prisons, theres no doubt that some people are too far gone to stop on theyre own and need a controlled enviroment to save them from themselves.
again, i hope you did not take offense in what i said,i wasnt speaking of you, i was speaking in general.though i did read your response and didnt agree with you at the time,i see why u advised jail,and i completely understand.i hope from the heart that your daughter return to you like you remember her when she was still a child,innocent and full of hope.
take care..
leiana
PAT
that is an amazing site.....I really went through it and i must say all the information is accurate and Real!
Thank you pat for adding that link.
Stressed Mom

A couple years after my mom got rid of my dad. She met I guy and later we found out he was a user of crack. I understand your stress and you can't really do much about it. When people get on crack it's up to them to get off, you can cut them off, but that makes it worse, even though your daugther doesn't show it right now she needs you the most. If your there for her it helps in the long run, so just try your best!
GOOD LUCK!

:Tiffany
I'm sorry that your life has been torn to pieces, I know the frustrations ohhh to well Here's another site to check out {www.reformu.com} Click on locations,then the state- all the meeting times and places will come up. This group - Reformers Unanimous has helped 1000's of people and they're wonderful folks.
There is 100% recovery available - I hope this can help you
My brother is addicted to cocaine for 2 years and I pray to god to heal my big brother. He also pawns our things to get drugs. He screams and crys for drug money. My mother is sick and he makes her sicker. Its the drug that makes people ack like that, it not really your daughter. It fells like the terror is never going to end, but dont worry you are not alone and I will keep you in my prayers.
My Webpage

Hi,

Your daughter need to go back in rehab as soon as possible. Something can be done.
I will be prayin for you
Hello mom,
I know you are going though a lot, but it is not unique, you are getting a lot of suggestions, some good and some not so good, but I did read something someone said that is a really good suggestion, and that is; go to meetings. You will meet people that are or have been in the same situation that you are in. Recovering addicts have lots of information that they love to share. Its hard to give tough love to someone that you raised and love, but you have to think of yourself and the rest of the family too. Jail is not some place to rehabilitate your daughter. All shell learn is how to steal better and where to buy better drugs. I dont know anything about the Baker act, but I have been in a mental institution and I used drugs the day I got out, because I wasnt crazy, I just had a little drug problem, how CRAZY is that? But seriously, putting her in mental intuition will not help her or you. You have to treat the problem that she has, which is addiction. The fact that her pimp is black has absolutely nothing to do with it; she probably started using from peer pressure from one of her friends, if you start blaming blacks for your situation your going to miss the real problem. The black pimp was probably just an easier way to get what she was already doing. Find a meeting in your area and dont be afraid to share the truth, Ill bet youll find that someone that has already been though the same thing, and they can tell you the best way to handle your situation.