I've found India's post on rational recovery the book and am buying it today. Guys I respect everyone who goes to AA and am thrilled for you.It's just not ME. I can't even get to my yard most day although I'm coming out of the agoraphobia slowly again (it's called a setback). I've had most of my life free of it and only dealt with severe panic. I really need to know how many days (on average from your experience) I can expect to feel icky and scared etc. due to the physical withdrawal which I can't tell is from just the booze or my anxiety or both). Any words of encouragement would help. The beer is making it worse..I know this but over the last year it just snuck up on me. Became an empty nester, first grandchild coming, youngest getting married and I have to be better. I acknowledge fully that I must stop drinking. I've lost my control. I hate it. My husband bought more today (weekend ) and so I'm staring at it. He promised though he would not by more for at least 7 days and I CAN'T buy it. He's says even if i stomp my feet NO WAY. Will the physical stuff - sweaty, a bit shakey, more anxious than normal ease of within a few days etc. I just need some of your experiences. Need a LIGHT at the end of the tunnel. Then when that goes away (the sick feeling) I'll concentrate on the psych. part. I work my buns off. I can do it. Please just a bit of encouragement or thoughts. But really I can't go to AA.
Thanks for sharing. It's getting late here so tired of coming to see if someone even answered. The exercise up and down the stairs has been good though. I guess it's the AAway or the highway. I at least tried. I liked Bob's post though so will print it for myself to remember. I just wish he had of posted it back to me so I could feel part of this board. It was something I needed to see. And I can read it over and over without having to join AA. I'm sorry I bothered everyone with a couple of posts. I did OK today not that anyone would care. Not great but now settling into a movie. I don't understand though. To me compassion is a virtue that one extends to all living things. Alcohol hasn't robbed me of that...I'm still capable of extending it to anyone or anything on earth. They don't need to belong to a "club". Well as you say, god bless to you all. I'm sorry you couldn't let me "in". Please enjoy your meetings and maybe think of me now and again. I won't be giving up no matter what. Just have a cup of coffee on me at your meetings on me and enjoy, Barb
