Yea, me and my bright ideas,, going to start cold turkery this morning from a 1year plus of percs and tabs. Some of you have seen my post on my history. was four years sober through A.A. done it by working the program doing what they told me, even then I had a nasty demerol habit... went cold turkey with my sponser and the program and worked it every day... How? I have no idea..
Now, Iam really feeling beat, been going to A.A meetings which Iam o.k.with cause first Iam an alcoholic, I had a alcohol relapse within this past year , went to meetings told the truth and have not had a drink. just gotta get off these dang pain pills , I swear they are the devil himself trying to destroy me.... I have suboxone, and if you seen my master plan from a few days ago ,,, well Iam in day one was going to try c/t first since I would rather do it that way. But, today is day one and Iam craving and fitting, I called my suppliers yesterday and cut them off, every thing is out of the house except some valium for sleep only at night, and some Soma. which I really don't like they will be for sleep only also....
Just want to get thru today,,, it seems this disease addiction is also just a habit for me use to getting up, making a few calls doing the deal, its driving me nuts today. I am suppose to go a least 17 to 24 hrs, before starting sub. which right now I don't even feel like I can do that. My addictive mind tells me make the call my non-addicitve thinking says no , its ruining your life, its taking all your money, its taking your health, its destroy your life, for what a little freaking pill that makes me feel groovey for just few minutes then I want more and more... it crazy.....By the way my name on here just to clear it up,,, Iam a single father of a 8 year old beautiful daughther, she lives with her Mom but I have her most every weekend we spend alot of time toghether and she deserves me to be clean and sober, the name came from a dog I use to have named takasha, which in Sioux, is suppose to mean Red Bull cause he looked like a bull. Any way thought I would just let ya'll know that... If cold turkey don't work Iam headed for short 7 to 10 day sub detox, starting with 2mgs and add from there find my comfort mg and then begin taper, that is the info I have gathered for a short detox that has worked the most succesfully to keep from getting addictted to sub. of course its always suggested to have a program in place to keep you from using rather its A.A. , N.A therapy, or something. This diseas addiction is for me a life sentence, I if ever get clean this time will have to maintain a program the rest of my life or I will be right back in it.....Having a tough day here today. Thanks for being here, just allowing me to vent, and ya'lls support is awsome any input on anything will be helpful, just to hear some encourgement and understaning goes a long ways.
Tak, hang in there and see how you feel. You only have to be in the beginning of withdrawals for sub, everyones different, some 6-8 hours some need more up to 18-24.
If you take the sub, just take small amounts, less is more dont forget.
JohnDee
If you take the sub, just take small amounts, less is more dont forget.
JohnDee
hey buddy,
great post!! i admire yuor honesty. stick around post your heart out and do your meetings. sounds like you know the drill. this board is a great supplement. you sound like a proud dad. thats rocks!! she deserves her dad back as well as you deserve to be free of the chains of hell from addiction. you have all the great support the people at meetings as well as all our support. you lnow it can be done cause you've done it before plus you've seen all these great people struggle and fight to keep clean. it can and will happen for you so long as you want it bad enugh, like you said its life and death. you have my listening ear for venting, all my support well wishes and prayers. but just curious on a side note: where did you get the sub? i'm not lecturing or bashing you whatsoever, just curious. you have the strength to do this ct, mind over matter. i know easier said then done but it doesnt last forever. my prayers are coming your way. just hang in there.
terrianne
great post!! i admire yuor honesty. stick around post your heart out and do your meetings. sounds like you know the drill. this board is a great supplement. you sound like a proud dad. thats rocks!! she deserves her dad back as well as you deserve to be free of the chains of hell from addiction. you have all the great support the people at meetings as well as all our support. you lnow it can be done cause you've done it before plus you've seen all these great people struggle and fight to keep clean. it can and will happen for you so long as you want it bad enugh, like you said its life and death. you have my listening ear for venting, all my support well wishes and prayers. but just curious on a side note: where did you get the sub? i'm not lecturing or bashing you whatsoever, just curious. you have the strength to do this ct, mind over matter. i know easier said then done but it doesnt last forever. my prayers are coming your way. just hang in there.
terrianne
Thanks , Johndee and booitme,,,, Johndee I always worry about that time going into sub... I know you have given me advice on it before and Iam listening. I had just read that if it opiates were not out whatever that means, that when you take the sub it would make you sicker than crap. So, thats one thing that has been kicking my but, I can't go the 24 hours I don't think... So I might try your advice when Iam going into withdrawl if its been aleast 8 to 10 hours you think I'll be o.k. with starting a small mg. maybe 2 , see what happens?
Booitsme, I went to a sub doctor listed on the sub web site in my area, seen him , told him the whole story, he prescribed 8mgs. every 12 hours and said see you in a month. Tripped me out, I called the nurse the next day had a long chat with her she said the Doc has had lots of success with this suboxone and for me to plan on being on it for 6 months to a year. And that he would see how i was doing in a month and start tapering from there. Well, I was not wanting anything to take that long so I started doing more research on suboxone ,,, one place was here and cowgirls thread, I also, went to herion-opiate withdrawl .com, there is a whole site there just about opiate addict's using sub, they say the doctors take like an 8 hour on line course for the license to percribe and that this medeicne is stonger than they or the makers no. That the main reson the suggest the 16 mgs a day and long term is to help us get not use to using other opiates, get a support program etc.
I could be wrong , but I have seen on here were people have done 7 to 10 day low dose sub detox with support and are doing fine..... Don't worry about asking me anything man Iam strait up, thats one thing that will kick our a$$$ quicker than anything, in How it works, it says those that fail our usually ones unable to be honest with themselves.... Iam laying it out there, Iam an addict, am powerless over this drug, and Nothing I have done or can do will help me not use, for me, I do believe there is a power greater than myself and this drug. Its just finding that for me right now I seemed to lost my faith somehow, thats what I meant in I have to maintain it the program all my life everyday....There are roooms filled where I live with AA members that have 20 plus years that still go to meetings 5 or 6 times a week. I think I have to give it up ,, my powerlessness in order to live as long as they have clean. They are inspiration every time I see them.....its just tapping into that,,, Iam trying ..... you guys are helping me to so ask me what ever... lets get down to what's going to keep me clean. then maybe my story will help someone else some other time....
Thanks
Booitsme, I went to a sub doctor listed on the sub web site in my area, seen him , told him the whole story, he prescribed 8mgs. every 12 hours and said see you in a month. Tripped me out, I called the nurse the next day had a long chat with her she said the Doc has had lots of success with this suboxone and for me to plan on being on it for 6 months to a year. And that he would see how i was doing in a month and start tapering from there. Well, I was not wanting anything to take that long so I started doing more research on suboxone ,,, one place was here and cowgirls thread, I also, went to herion-opiate withdrawl .com, there is a whole site there just about opiate addict's using sub, they say the doctors take like an 8 hour on line course for the license to percribe and that this medeicne is stonger than they or the makers no. That the main reson the suggest the 16 mgs a day and long term is to help us get not use to using other opiates, get a support program etc.
I could be wrong , but I have seen on here were people have done 7 to 10 day low dose sub detox with support and are doing fine..... Don't worry about asking me anything man Iam strait up, thats one thing that will kick our a$$$ quicker than anything, in How it works, it says those that fail our usually ones unable to be honest with themselves.... Iam laying it out there, Iam an addict, am powerless over this drug, and Nothing I have done or can do will help me not use, for me, I do believe there is a power greater than myself and this drug. Its just finding that for me right now I seemed to lost my faith somehow, thats what I meant in I have to maintain it the program all my life everyday....There are roooms filled where I live with AA members that have 20 plus years that still go to meetings 5 or 6 times a week. I think I have to give it up ,, my powerlessness in order to live as long as they have clean. They are inspiration every time I see them.....its just tapping into that,,, Iam trying ..... you guys are helping me to so ask me what ever... lets get down to what's going to keep me clean. then maybe my story will help someone else some other time....
Thanks
Takasha,
Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time, hang in there. Try to get through the day without the sub, I know you hurt, but taking the sub to early can make matters worse. I don't think 8 to 10 hours clean is long enough to start sub, I'm afraid you could get really sick. My doctor was pretty clear to me about being at least 24 hours, he actually would have prefered me at 36 hours, which I was able to do.
Hang tough, we are here and we know what you're going through.
Redd
Sorry to hear you are having such a rough time, hang in there. Try to get through the day without the sub, I know you hurt, but taking the sub to early can make matters worse. I don't think 8 to 10 hours clean is long enough to start sub, I'm afraid you could get really sick. My doctor was pretty clear to me about being at least 24 hours, he actually would have prefered me at 36 hours, which I was able to do.
Hang tough, we are here and we know what you're going through.
Redd
You are already helping. Stay tough--keep writing
Takasha, I am on sub, and I have the same reservations you do....addiction...the drs not knowing what they are doing. I talked to a counselor who has over 20 years in the field of addiction, and he said sub was a 5-7 day detox, no longer...but everyone says to let the dr make the calls. The dr isn't the one who deals with it...I do. So, if I were you, I would ride it out till 24 hours. I did it; and so can you....it was really hard, but I just posted my heart out and made it...
Then you can start the sub, and go slow and low dosages....
The sub took away the withdrawls, and it has been a great tool because I CAN'T USE, CAN'T DRINK....so it has gotten me almost two weeks without oxy, and beer...that way I am learning how to ride things out. I hope I am making sense.
But Ihave never had anything catch a hold of me like opiates....
Stay strong, don't make the call...it is only 24 hours. You can make it..maybe not even that....you just have to show some signs of withdrawl.
YOU CAN MAKE IT...
Kerry
Then you can start the sub, and go slow and low dosages....
The sub took away the withdrawls, and it has been a great tool because I CAN'T USE, CAN'T DRINK....so it has gotten me almost two weeks without oxy, and beer...that way I am learning how to ride things out. I hope I am making sense.
But Ihave never had anything catch a hold of me like opiates....
Stay strong, don't make the call...it is only 24 hours. You can make it..maybe not even that....you just have to show some signs of withdrawl.
YOU CAN MAKE IT...
Kerry
Dang, I just typed a long response to Redd and the rest of you for thanks for the encourgment. lost it to cybespace some how... Thanks littlebeach and sarah, I "ll probalby be on here a lot the next week or so crying my tail off . its amazing how a little pill can take someone down, Ive been through a lot of tough things in my life and pain but those dang cravings our incredible and the depression kicked my butt last week. Will the sub help with the depression?
Little beach how long have you been on sub and how long are you planning on staying on it, or are you already offf. If I end up starting sub in the pm say 6 or 8 p.m after work ,,, how will it effect my sleep. I always had a problem with sleep I called my sub doctor and he said it would be o.k to take on 10mg valium before bed as long is that is all, plus I usually take tylonol p.m before bed. I guess either way, this week coming up is going to be hell....But , I know I got to do it, Glad you guys are here....
thanks
Little beach how long have you been on sub and how long are you planning on staying on it, or are you already offf. If I end up starting sub in the pm say 6 or 8 p.m after work ,,, how will it effect my sleep. I always had a problem with sleep I called my sub doctor and he said it would be o.k to take on 10mg valium before bed as long is that is all, plus I usually take tylonol p.m before bed. I guess either way, this week coming up is going to be hell....But , I know I got to do it, Glad you guys are here....
thanks
tak,
i dont have sub experience, but i do appreciate you taking the time out to explain. i will be sending my prayers your way. danielle has great sub knowledge maybe she will be around soon to help answer questions as well.
hang in there. your worth it.
terrianne
i dont have sub experience, but i do appreciate you taking the time out to explain. i will be sending my prayers your way. danielle has great sub knowledge maybe she will be around soon to help answer questions as well.
hang in there. your worth it.
terrianne
Tak,
Stay strong buddy. I'm sorry but I have to get ready for work, but I'll look for your posts later. Its just a day, keep telling yourself that, its just a day.Yes, its a HARD day, but it will pass. As each hour passes you get closer.
I'll be thinking of you,
Redd
Stay strong buddy. I'm sorry but I have to get ready for work, but I'll look for your posts later. Its just a day, keep telling yourself that, its just a day.Yes, its a HARD day, but it will pass. As each hour passes you get closer.
I'll be thinking of you,
Redd
Takasha:
The thread "getting of suboxone" has a great post by Gotta Have Faith at the end. I think it might help you.
The pain is short compared to your long life sober, just know that its worth it. Good luck!
The thread "getting of suboxone" has a great post by Gotta Have Faith at the end. I think it might help you.
The pain is short compared to your long life sober, just know that its worth it. Good luck!
Thanks Boo its me,, you guys are helping me lot,, trying to stay tough, just wish thats all it took. But I know staying tough is part of it, Thanks for your prayers, all of ya'll will be in mine. Glad to be a part of this group. You guys are awsome...Your words of encourgement can get me through another hour, or longer. before long it will be 24 then I can decide rather to go with the sub or not. Just don't want to use anymore....tomorrow at work is what Iam worried about more than anything,, don't want to freak out on the sub. and don't want to go home sick,, I have missed so much in last month or so, they are getting a little tired of it I think.
Thanks
What do you mean freak out on the sub? You mean switch addictions?
Well, maybe freak out was not the best of words to use. But, I just don't know what I will feel like when I take it... sounds from what I have read I would be o.k.
I don't know if its going to make head to the bathroom or just settle me down and everything will be cool... I guess Iam afraid of the unknown.
thanks for your reply
hey tak,
keep talking, it definately helps the minutes/hours pass. i understand your fears. but you have the power to not let those thoughts get the best of you. i have some faith in you. just visualise those fears and see yourself choking out those thoughts untill they are out of breath and then slamming them in a tight confined area so that you can free your mind and think productive thoughts. its just a throught, cant hurt : )
terrianne
keep talking, it definately helps the minutes/hours pass. i understand your fears. but you have the power to not let those thoughts get the best of you. i have some faith in you. just visualise those fears and see yourself choking out those thoughts untill they are out of breath and then slamming them in a tight confined area so that you can free your mind and think productive thoughts. its just a throught, cant hurt : )
terrianne
Its an opiate that doesn't get you high, like Immodium is an opiate too (can you believe?). The mental crap is from detoxing too and opiate receptors in brain being depleted--I thought I was clinically insane for awhile, so it must help that from what I've read. It doesn't get you high though so reality will hit it sounds like.
Everyone's detox is different, you can't plan how its gonna feel. Its not like a cold that has a predictable course. Just jump in with both feet. I'm pullin' for ya, its scary for sure.
Everyone's detox is different, you can't plan how its gonna feel. Its not like a cold that has a predictable course. Just jump in with both feet. I'm pullin' for ya, its scary for sure.
Thanks Boo its Me,, I appreciate that,,,Yes, In the beginning I was afraid of gettting addicted to sub. until I read more about it and most of what I read says 7 to 10 days will get me thru the withdrawls then use the rest of my recovery tools to stay clean, I read Gotta have faiths post on getting off sub and it was good news for me. Thats how I would like for it to work for me or for everyone... Iam just trying to get to 24 hours. Your advice was helpful, Iam going to fix me something to eat , do some laundry, maybe a little excercise, I'll check back with ya'll a little later......again, you guys are a big help I'll keep you words in my mind, I know I can get through this with my higher power and your guys.
catch ya'll in couple hours.
thanks
Thanks sarah, for your input, your helping me and I appreciate that more than I can say.....check with ya'll in a little bit.
Thanks
Sarah , just wondering if you don't mind, and the answer may already be on here somewhere and I missed it. Do you mind me asking you if you are clean now or are still using..if clean would you mind sharing on how you done it..
You sound like you know what your talking about.....that goes for all of you I would like to know how anyone done it dealing with the fears, the cravings,etc.
Thanks
Tak just fyi,i felt the SAME exact way you do,i was VERY afraid to go to work,last thursday was my 1st day on suboxone and just to let you know my day went FINE,it really helped,so i hope that helps you a lil in your decision...Aaron
