I haven't had as much time to write here lately. Just letting you all know I'm still in the game! :)
15 days since I smoked a joint. Wow thats really something. I am still having a really hard time sleeping, and I am not sure if this is related but my palms have been sweating for the past 2 weeks, feels kind of yucky. But I am hanging in there.
I am starting to feel better about myself. I am starting to feel really "on the ball" . Getting a running start at my courses for this semester, and getting a car on the road are 2 things I've done this past week that I can feel good about. I also had a nice dinner last night with some family at a swanky restaurant, we all had an excellent time. I was the only sober one at the table, and I didn't even realize it untill we were leaving. I thought to myself "This has got to be a good sign, They are all high or on the wine, and I got through a whole meal without even thinking about it"
Well tomorrow is the start of another week. I gotta get some rest (or try anyways)
Cheers!
Mr.B
Way to go Mr. B!!
Enjoy your new high, the high of being aware and present in life.
I wish you all the best, keep up the good work
Enjoy your new high, the high of being aware and present in life.
I wish you all the best, keep up the good work
Like to hear about that "on the ball". Me too. I have had some pressures on my business and my income and it scares the crap out of me. I'm an owner and don't get a salary. I've always done well, but I know that pot has affected me the last few years, doing okay, but often feel like I'm running in place compared to my earlier years. Well, for the first time in many years i have written down concrete goals for next year, and how I am going to achieve those goals. And instead of the fear of I have, I see that I have very realistic goals, with a little work, but doable, not pie in the sky. This is working.
Another thing. About 1 wk into this straight, (I have 9 wks now), I told my wife. And my marriage has been HELL, much of the time, since. Much worse than when I was smoking. I have blamed it ALL on her because my wife has been wacky and mean, but who knows maybe her aggressively mean behavior has been because a basic lack of trust, cause I fooled her again. This is my 3rd "merry-go-round" in the last 8 yrs, 2 on, 2 off, ... Well, we had a nice business trip to Vegas this weekend and without a doubt it was the best trip ever and we were closest EVER. Hope it lasts and maybe with my sobriety our love can grow to what I KNOW it can be. married 19 yrs. - The HC
Another thing. About 1 wk into this straight, (I have 9 wks now), I told my wife. And my marriage has been HELL, much of the time, since. Much worse than when I was smoking. I have blamed it ALL on her because my wife has been wacky and mean, but who knows maybe her aggressively mean behavior has been because a basic lack of trust, cause I fooled her again. This is my 3rd "merry-go-round" in the last 8 yrs, 2 on, 2 off, ... Well, we had a nice business trip to Vegas this weekend and without a doubt it was the best trip ever and we were closest EVER. Hope it lasts and maybe with my sobriety our love can grow to what I KNOW it can be. married 19 yrs. - The HC
hc-Thank you for sharing about your marriage, it helps me.
great job on quitting, and your right. When I quit a couple of years ago, my wife and my relationship did improve dramatically, the pot just makes you numb and very unattentive to other peoples feelings and emotions. stay strong and best wishes to your marriage.
