Day 2

Please keep me in your prayers. no great thoughts today only that I want to be done . . . I want to enjoy life for what it is without the pills. to not worry about maybe not waking up if I fail . . . again. to be strong for my kids because they deserve that. Hard to get back to where you were . . .
How do you edit previous posts? curious about that, doesn't seem to work for me.
Almost There, May God Bless you in your endevour. Keep on trucking. Know this for sure, YOU HAve 100% CHANCE OF RECOVERY.

Are you getting any support from anyone. Have you tried NA? What and how much and how long were u using.

If u need medical attention or a medical detox or help from a Dr., do not be ashamed or afraid to get it.

We are all here for you & I am sure some people will be able to tell you step by step , minute by minute, how they got threw the first few days.

It is a good thing to ask others to pray for you and for you to pray for yourself. We often don't realize Gods response or feel it immediately. Sometimes we look back at a certain situation and become aware that our prayers were not in vain.

thank you so much. don't want to feel sorry for myself; it's my own actions that brought me here. this board is my support; i don't do well around more than a couple of people so meetings are just not for me. i know i could just go and listen but unless you get in to it and work the steps it's probably not going to stick. i probably used for 7-8 years . . . vicodan, percs then oxy's. prescrip was for 40mg. 3 x's a day - would maybe last a couple weeks.
trying to stay well hydrated today; lots of water and prayer. i just keep wondering why I can't seem to be happy w/o the damn pills. any thoughts? did I mess up my brain so bad it can't be fixed?
i don't do well around more than a couple of people so meetings are just not for me.


That's the biggest cop-out I've ever heard...(you're not the first to say it, but it's bs)

You're setting yourself up. By not allowing yourself the gift of suggestion from others, you're finding ways to fail. What about counseling? What about talking honestly to your dr or finding an addiction specialist? There are so many ways that you could help yourself but if you choose to just shut down, you'll never get past day 3.

Harsh? Maybe. It's time for a wake up call darlin. Talking and posting here really does help but it doesn't replace face to face. I know that you're vulnerable right now and feeling pretty raw but nothing changes until something changes.
probably all true.
Ok, so what are you going to do about it?

I'm hanging around for awhile if you want to talk.
I just don't understand why this is so damn hard. there is a counselor that I seemed to have a good connection with so I will e-mail him and see if he is still in the area.
It's hard because you have a disease. It's incurable but it's treatable and it's up to you to seek treatment. No one can do it for you. You are still going through withdrawals, it's only day 2 but that part won't last forever, the physical part anyway. It's the mental part that is so hard. You just need to keep telling yourself that you aren't alone and that you are worth this. Do it for you.

Getting ahold of the counselor is a great idea. Make it happen. Just don't email him and then wait. Be pro-active. Do you have a phone number instead? Maybe call and make an appt today?

I had to take one thing at a time, one day at a time. It's a lesson that I use in my life even now. If you get too overwhelmed, you set yourself up.
yes, it is a horrible, horrible disease. My Dad was an alcoholic as was my maternal Grandfather (Mom's Dad, think that's called maternal . ..)
It's in my family too. On both sides. My kids didn't stand a chance... I really hate this disease but we don't hate the addict. That's where you have to love yourself and know that you are worth this.
I know what it feels like to think nothing is fun without pills. It seems like everything is better with pills and you cant be happy. Im here to tell you thats not true. Follow your heart and be true to yourself and not so critical of yourself. Nobody is perfect and everyone needs help and forgiveness. That starts with you. Dont worry about tomorrow or what could happen just deal with things as they happen. You will be fine.
Hey almost~
Something that has really sunk in for me recently is that I only have to deal with today, this moment. I'd heard it a million times "One day at a time" but for some reason I really GOT it and I can't begin to explain the relief. I don't have to worry about what I'm gonna do tomorrow or the next day or even in five minutes. Right now, this moment, I can deal with. Everything else will be dealt with in that moment. It takes so much pressure off. I'm sending you hugs and support...
I have 2 months clean, and yes things do get better. Just this past weekend, my husband and I were finishing our garage (hanging shelves, posters and organizing everything) I was so sore and tired, but we had so much fun just being together and accomplishing something. I also agree with the previous post, just take it one moment at a time. My thoughts are with you.

J
thanks for your thoughts and comments . . . they are sooooooooooo much appreciated. you have no idea. Watery eyes and runny nose today and of course other things. Actually made it out yesterday afternoon for a walk with daughter & dogs so was proud of that. if I can make it through this day, hour, minute, I it will get better. I am just too old for this sh**.
I hear you on that one, I'm too old for this crap too. But I want to get older. You do too, right?

What kind of dogs do you have? How old is your daughter? Focus on the good things in your life honey, and like everyone said, one minute at a time. It's the best you can do and that's ok.
Yes, I really do. When I think about all of the times I might not have woke up; I can't believe I was so selfish. My husband has said to me how mad he was because he never knew what he might find or maybe one of the kids . . . but I always knew better . . . . Sometimes stupidity knows no boundaries.

I'm having a real hard time focusing today so funny that you said to focus on the good things. I'm very cold but must have it about 80 degrees in my office. Everyone comments - Wow ! I don't care.

I have a brown lab mix - about 6 yrs. old now. Got her from a rescue place when she was about 3 months old . . . she's a real sweetie. My daughter turns 30 this year; just got married to a real nice guy last Spring. I do have a lot to be thankful for.
thank you for your reply it is very much sincerely appreciated.
First of all, stop calling yourself stupid. This isn't about being stupid. It's about being sick. Stupid comes in when you don't do anything about it. You are trying, that's huge. Reaching out to people, that's huge.

I just wish that you had someone face to face to talk too. It's one thing to sit annonymously on a computer and pour your heart out, it's even more powerful to look someone in the eye and share your story. Especially to someone who's been where you are. You can't fool another addict and that's a good thing. We get to learn how to be honest again, or maybe even for the first time. That's how we get clean and sober and stay that way.

I have a yellow lab, she's about 9 months old now and love her to death. I also have a Jack Russel who is a constant source of entertainment....there are good things in our lives, look for the little ones and focus on that for the moment.
thanks for the wise words. Yes, I do need to start being more positive about myself . . . get over what's done. Let it go...........
Day two is fantastic! Don't beat yourself up. You are sick and trying to get well. This is an uphill battle and we are all fighting it here. Lisa is right that you shouldn't call yourself stupid.

I do think you should consider giving NA a try. All it requires of you is the desire to quit using. I guantee you that you will get something out of attending. You don't have to say a word. Try going online and pulling up some of their pamphlets. I recommend this because it works. It is almost impossible to do this alone. The battles we fight are in our minds. The first few months it is very hard dealing with all the emotions that come flooding in. You will not be judged.

Good luck with making it through today! One day, one hour, one minute at a time. Make it through today. It can be done and you are worth it!
thank you Alice. I will keep trying . . . today = Day 3. I'm hanging on . . . sometimes by a thread it seems. gotta get off this site and get to work, seem to have become somewhat obsessed with it. constantly checking, that's all I need is to lose my job. then the sh** would really hit the fan. Please God grant me the strength to get through just this one day, hour, minute, second.