First I want to say that I read each and every post on my last thread and I want to thank you all so much.
Second, I want to say that i made it through my 2nd day totally clean and sober...and so far, so good for day 3.
The one thing I didn't do was go to the meeting. I don't think that surprises too many of you. I wanted to go. I needed to go. I'm not afraid of meetings. I used to love them. I want to go back.
BUT......
Well we all know what the but is. I won't go back over it again.
Obviously, this is something I need to seriously do something about. Because I know I won't last this way for long. I can't help it. I'm literally terrified to rock the boat around here anymore. I'm terrified of how I will handle the repercussions.
Yet I'm terrified of what will happen to me if I don't.
I have to find a way to work this out. As soon as I figure it out, as always, you will be the first ones to know.
Thank you all so much for everything so far. You are very near and dear to my heart.
Now you know in your heart that YOU have taken back your power and will only feel better and stronger every day...this is a hellish experience but it may strengthen you more than anything...it WILL. God is helping you but you are calling the shots. Bless you for all you have accomplished....set a goal for what you want for your life. What we put our attention on grows so do NOT focus on what you DON'T want...only on the bright and happier future that awaits you. You will feel clean and serene...I am rooting for you. You can do this! Love, Sharonn
Jodi...
This is so awesome....Congratulations on making it to day 3...you are definately a miracle...
If you ask God to help you figure it out and show you the way, he will....Have faith Jodi and I cannot wait to hear about your first meeting....
xoxo
Stacey
ps..keep reading the Big Book, it sure helped me....
This is so awesome....Congratulations on making it to day 3...you are definately a miracle...
If you ask God to help you figure it out and show you the way, he will....Have faith Jodi and I cannot wait to hear about your first meeting....
xoxo
Stacey
ps..keep reading the Big Book, it sure helped me....
Jodi, you are a miracle!
You have no idea how much your post perked up my day, darlin' once you get some of that fog cleared from your head this obstacle (your husband) is going to be so much easier to handle.
Gosh, I am gushing with pride for you!
You have no idea how much your post perked up my day, darlin' once you get some of that fog cleared from your head this obstacle (your husband) is going to be so much easier to handle.
Gosh, I am gushing with pride for you!
Dear Jodi:
I am SO happy for you!
I hope you will make a meeting as you know what they can provide you...but please, please, please.....FEEL GREAT ABOUT YOURSELF.
I know we haven't shared that much, but I have always watched your posts and knew you were in such pain....I just know so many things are going to get much better for you very soon.
YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB....3 days is AWESOME...and thank you for sharing. You made my day!
Much love and support,
Sarah
I am SO happy for you!
I hope you will make a meeting as you know what they can provide you...but please, please, please.....FEEL GREAT ABOUT YOURSELF.
I know we haven't shared that much, but I have always watched your posts and knew you were in such pain....I just know so many things are going to get much better for you very soon.
YOU ARE DOING AN AMAZING JOB....3 days is AWESOME...and thank you for sharing. You made my day!
Much love and support,
Sarah
Jodi-
So good to see your post, I cannot tell you how many times you have been in my mind this last couple of days.
Stay Strong, and Believe in yourself..........
Big Hugs.
So good to see your post, I cannot tell you how many times you have been in my mind this last couple of days.
Stay Strong, and Believe in yourself..........
Big Hugs.
Thank you for sharing that Jodi. 3 days is awesome.
I just now saw this thread!! I am so excited for you..this is an amazing accomplishment! I know that you have alot on your plate right now...but only today right! Worry only about today..Jodi!!! Day 3!!!! I could jump and down...in fact I am....way to go...keep going...keep doing what your doing..you CAN get this day behind you!!!
Hugs...kee kee
Hugs...kee kee
Good for you Jodi! 3 days is ASTOUNDING!! I'm so very happy for you. You're stepping up and taking back your life. You deserve so much. I can't wait for your life to begin to come together. You are doing it girl!! YOU are doing it!!!!!!!
Love
stacey
Love
stacey
These are the days when I don't know how to cope...how to stay strong. I'm trying. I'm trying to take Ali's advice. And only worry about me and how I'm feeling and thinking and acting.
Somebody posted last night that they had a feeling it would be different for me this time. So did I. I have been so determined. Now I'm not so sure.
Please god help me.
Get me through the rest of today.
Somebody posted last night that they had a feeling it would be different for me this time. So did I. I have been so determined. Now I'm not so sure.
Please god help me.
Get me through the rest of today.
Jodi:
Share with us what is happening, right now...
and YOU ARE MAKING IT...this is you reaching out for support when you feel you need it, which is the healthiest thing we can do.
THIS IS YOU MAKING ONE RIGHT DECISION AFTER THE OTHER.
Sarah
Share with us what is happening, right now...
and YOU ARE MAKING IT...this is you reaching out for support when you feel you need it, which is the healthiest thing we can do.
THIS IS YOU MAKING ONE RIGHT DECISION AFTER THE OTHER.
Sarah
Don't speculate as it will trigger you.....if you worry about the "what ifs' you will panic..and set yourself up for a fall. Think of it this way...It isn't pressure or "hard"...this is a choice you made for you, by you to better your life.This is all about Jodi...you get to be selfish and put your well-being first. If you have to...1 hour, 1 minute at a time. While you are doing this I am inspired...planning on detox. Thank you for the courage. Love, Sharonn
Jodi keep it simple. If you can do one day at a time that's all you need to deal with. See you follow this simple logic and your on day 3.
CONGRADS
You just keep it up and keep all thoughts positive. Any stinkin thinking or cravings last seconds to a few minutes. You have proved you can do it.
So just keep it up. And if your not feeling well do not pick up a drug pick up the phone or come here.
Jodi it only gets easier I swear on my kids lives.
Proud of you
Jeff
CONGRADS
You just keep it up and keep all thoughts positive. Any stinkin thinking or cravings last seconds to a few minutes. You have proved you can do it.
So just keep it up. And if your not feeling well do not pick up a drug pick up the phone or come here.
Jodi it only gets easier I swear on my kids lives.
Proud of you
Jeff
Jodi-I hate to see you making this so much harder than it has to be.Go to that meeting.It's for you...it's not for me.Please.There will be people there that will embrace you.The only one there for you in that a house is a husband that is drinking himself and can't support you in any way.
I'm very grateful you made it through the night.You were the first one I thought of when I got up this morning.I prayed for you several times yesterday.
The only thing I want is to make this a little bit easier for you.
I hope you consider it.
I'm very grateful you made it through the night.You were the first one I thought of when I got up this morning.I prayed for you several times yesterday.
The only thing I want is to make this a little bit easier for you.
I hope you consider it.
Jodi
It's been a while since I got clean so I'm not sure how good my memory is of my early days getting sober but if you've been reading the board you know I've just quit smoking recently. Nicotine is as powerful addiction as opiates and booze if not worse. So I will share on my nic addiction and getting off of it. One thing I noticed is that when I get a craving for a smoke, if I wait, it really does go away. That reminded me of my w/d from xanax. I would sit in meetings not hearing a thing because my mind was racing and I was searching the corners with my eyes for a xan that someone dropped. I was sure there were people there still taking xanax. But when I got out of the meeting and was busy talking to someone or doing something I would forget about popping pills for a few minutes. It was like the smoking, I wanted to but I knew where one pill or drink would take me. So I waited. And the craving passed. And it came back and it passed until one day I made it a whole day without thinking about a pill or a drink. It was a miracle.
Another thing I wanted to share with you is when I got a sponsor back then I was getting off xans but she was taking oxys and t3s. Since I was so new to recovery I had no clue that she wasn't a good sponsor for me. I had a sponsor, right? And that was what mattered to me. I kept her for 3 months until my head got clear enough for me to realize if I didn't get away from her I wouldn't stay clean. But she was the sponsor I needed at the time. My point is, those pills were available to me if I wanted them. But I chose to get clean instead. They were around me a few times a day. I know I could have manipulated her into giving me one but I wanted to get clean more than anything else in the world. So don't let anyone tell you you can't do it because pills and booze are available to you. If you really want to get clean you will no matter what's around you. Pray, Jodi. I don't care who you pray to. Just find a power outside of yourself that is not booze or a pill and ask for help. Ask to just get thru one more night. That's all you need. That's all any of us have.
Sorry this is a book.
smooches
It's been a while since I got clean so I'm not sure how good my memory is of my early days getting sober but if you've been reading the board you know I've just quit smoking recently. Nicotine is as powerful addiction as opiates and booze if not worse. So I will share on my nic addiction and getting off of it. One thing I noticed is that when I get a craving for a smoke, if I wait, it really does go away. That reminded me of my w/d from xanax. I would sit in meetings not hearing a thing because my mind was racing and I was searching the corners with my eyes for a xan that someone dropped. I was sure there were people there still taking xanax. But when I got out of the meeting and was busy talking to someone or doing something I would forget about popping pills for a few minutes. It was like the smoking, I wanted to but I knew where one pill or drink would take me. So I waited. And the craving passed. And it came back and it passed until one day I made it a whole day without thinking about a pill or a drink. It was a miracle.
Another thing I wanted to share with you is when I got a sponsor back then I was getting off xans but she was taking oxys and t3s. Since I was so new to recovery I had no clue that she wasn't a good sponsor for me. I had a sponsor, right? And that was what mattered to me. I kept her for 3 months until my head got clear enough for me to realize if I didn't get away from her I wouldn't stay clean. But she was the sponsor I needed at the time. My point is, those pills were available to me if I wanted them. But I chose to get clean instead. They were around me a few times a day. I know I could have manipulated her into giving me one but I wanted to get clean more than anything else in the world. So don't let anyone tell you you can't do it because pills and booze are available to you. If you really want to get clean you will no matter what's around you. Pray, Jodi. I don't care who you pray to. Just find a power outside of yourself that is not booze or a pill and ask for help. Ask to just get thru one more night. That's all you need. That's all any of us have.
Sorry this is a book.
smooches
Jodi girl, oh Jodi...girl,
You ARE doing this!!!! Each of us gets there in our own time in our own seperate way...focus on you...
{{{{{{{{{Much support and big congratulatory hugs}}}}}}}}}}} on your 3 days!
Jan
I have to agree on the meeting...maybe you could share your fear of what happens at home with those there and they could help you with that too...
You ARE doing this!!!! Each of us gets there in our own time in our own seperate way...focus on you...
{{{{{{{{{Much support and big congratulatory hugs}}}}}}}}}}} on your 3 days!
Jan
I have to agree on the meeting...maybe you could share your fear of what happens at home with those there and they could help you with that too...
reach deep jodi.....inside of you.........
you can do this........
keep going............do you have some things like a funny movie to watch?
drink lots of water.....
smile , stay positive..........
what you are doing is a good thing, the RIGHT thing...........
my heart is with you during this time............
hugs to u.........................
your are doing the right thing.............
rejoyce
this will not last forever.............
thumper
| QUOTE |
| But when I got out of the meeting and was busy talking to someone or doing something I would forget about popping pills for a few minutes. |
Thank You Kat.
That's what saved me.The diversion.When I was at the house with myself in the beginning,that's when the voices started talking to me.You're not worth it,you can't do it.Why don't you just have one and then quit.....yad,yada,yada
Jodi girl...you'll go when you've had enough of struggling. We don't have to struggle this hard, you know that.
You loved those meetings, and they are all still waiting there for you with open arms. Just go. He's going to be unhappy with you no matter what you do, so just go.
I won't be around next week so please call Stacey if you need to connect. She's awesome.
I love you
Lisa
You loved those meetings, and they are all still waiting there for you with open arms. Just go. He's going to be unhappy with you no matter what you do, so just go.
I won't be around next week so please call Stacey if you need to connect. She's awesome.
I love you
Lisa
Lisa-I bet this is what you're getting ready for:
"Hasta Luego.Tiene Buen Suerte y mucho tiempo bueno."
"Hasta Luego.Tiene Buen Suerte y mucho tiempo bueno."
