I started getting the dreams last night. It was actually really cool! Dreams are something you don't even realize you miss when your a heavy pot smoker.
Well today is Day 4 for me. I told my brothers and sisters my new years resolution was only to quit for 3 days. I did that because I've threatened to quit so many times and failed that I was already prepareing myself for failure. At the begginning i thought I might not even make it to day 3. Regardless of what they think, I have no plans of relapseing today.
I've got a physics final on friday to prepare for so I've got lots to keep my mind occupied. Wouldn't be a good day to smoke anyways (4 days ago I wouldn't have cared)
Wish me luck!
Still Straight Mr.B
Good luck from a former Physics major
Wow a physics major! I am impressed. At the rate I have been going I won't ever graduate. Maybe coming home each night and smoking 1/8 and playing 6 hours of online games was where I went wrong.
My absolute favorite thing in the whole world to do, smoke pot and get lost in an online game or a good movie. Somehow I can't imagine myself being able to crawl through a 4 hour dungeon in World of Warcraft without at least 3 or 4 joints to smoke. I barely ever watch television except for when I am trying to fall sleep at night
The sad truth is, Its not just the weed that is causing me to do poorly in school, its my obsession with gaming as well. Pot and computer games compliment eachother so well.
This is what always happens. I am studying, at a great pace. I can keep it up for 2 hours or so, then I decide to smoke a joint (with full intentions of studying after I'm finished). I finish my J, read for 10 more minutes and then I just say to myself "frig it, I'm getting on the computer"
well If I'm not kicked out of school this semester, then its definetly my last chance. I could wait a year and go back, but who knows what will be happening in my life 1 year from now. I used to be able to smoke every night and still get acceptable marks. But things really spiraled out of controll the past 2 years or so.
I need to learn to be disciplined. The most important things I need to do are;
#1 - Quit smoking weed (working on it)
#2 - Play less computer games (Cancelled my WoW account this month)
#3 - Stop missing classes (Without weed I won't have as much to miss them for)
#4 - Spend more time in the evenings studying
#5 - Become more phyiscaly active (Gym, Skiiing, Running Golf)
#6 - Maintain this lifestyle for longer then just a couple of weeks
Discipline is my biggest problem. Maybe I should join the army (lol)
Wish me luck
Mr.B
My absolute favorite thing in the whole world to do, smoke pot and get lost in an online game or a good movie. Somehow I can't imagine myself being able to crawl through a 4 hour dungeon in World of Warcraft without at least 3 or 4 joints to smoke. I barely ever watch television except for when I am trying to fall sleep at night
The sad truth is, Its not just the weed that is causing me to do poorly in school, its my obsession with gaming as well. Pot and computer games compliment eachother so well.
This is what always happens. I am studying, at a great pace. I can keep it up for 2 hours or so, then I decide to smoke a joint (with full intentions of studying after I'm finished). I finish my J, read for 10 more minutes and then I just say to myself "frig it, I'm getting on the computer"
well If I'm not kicked out of school this semester, then its definetly my last chance. I could wait a year and go back, but who knows what will be happening in my life 1 year from now. I used to be able to smoke every night and still get acceptable marks. But things really spiraled out of controll the past 2 years or so.
I need to learn to be disciplined. The most important things I need to do are;
#1 - Quit smoking weed (working on it)
#2 - Play less computer games (Cancelled my WoW account this month)
#3 - Stop missing classes (Without weed I won't have as much to miss them for)
#4 - Spend more time in the evenings studying
#5 - Become more phyiscaly active (Gym, Skiiing, Running Golf)
#6 - Maintain this lifestyle for longer then just a couple of weeks
Discipline is my biggest problem. Maybe I should join the army (lol)
Wish me luck
Mr.B
Hello Mr. B,
Making the plans is an excellent way to start. Just don't plan the results.
This works in my life because before when I would make lists/goals, I would beat myself up when I failed, or slipped up, or whatever and then I'd trash the whole concept and feel like a complete loser.
I hope that made sense. I just did a full day of therapy, I'm a little tired. :-)
On a side note I'm always amazed that intelligent people choose to smoke pot. What I mean is....my husband could belong to mensa and can talk quantum physics if I beg him to. LOL Just kidding. My point is, I don't understand why brilliant minds turn to pot. He could be doing so much more. He chooses to play war craft and generals and axis and allies and whatever. Maybe the key word is "play". As a former pothead I have to re-learn how to play. Being stoned was my "play."
Then it wasn't fun anymore. I wish my husband would be comfortable with "playing" without being stoned first.
Playing is so important for mental health, no matter how old you are.
I, for one, grew up being told I was stupid. I was in my late twenties before I could say that was simply untrue and BELIEVE it. The only stupidity in my life was picking up that first joint.
Making the plans is an excellent way to start. Just don't plan the results.
This works in my life because before when I would make lists/goals, I would beat myself up when I failed, or slipped up, or whatever and then I'd trash the whole concept and feel like a complete loser.
I hope that made sense. I just did a full day of therapy, I'm a little tired. :-)
On a side note I'm always amazed that intelligent people choose to smoke pot. What I mean is....my husband could belong to mensa and can talk quantum physics if I beg him to. LOL Just kidding. My point is, I don't understand why brilliant minds turn to pot. He could be doing so much more. He chooses to play war craft and generals and axis and allies and whatever. Maybe the key word is "play". As a former pothead I have to re-learn how to play. Being stoned was my "play."
Then it wasn't fun anymore. I wish my husband would be comfortable with "playing" without being stoned first.
Playing is so important for mental health, no matter how old you are.
I, for one, grew up being told I was stupid. I was in my late twenties before I could say that was simply untrue and BELIEVE it. The only stupidity in my life was picking up that first joint.
>Making the plans is an excellent way to start. Just don't plan the results.
This works in my life because before when I would make lists/goals, I would beat myself up when I failed, or slipped up, or whatever and then I'd trash the whole concept and feel like a complete loser.
___________________________________________________
My greatest fear. Without a doubt.
I beleive I am capable of doing well in school. Thats why I say quitting weed is only step #1. I won't get A's just because I'm not stoned.
The root of my problems isn't marijuana, its discipline. A nasty marijuana habit is just a symptom.
A more disciplined person would be strong enough to not smoke 5 joints the night before a final exam, and then another an hour before writing it.
A more disciplined person COULD smoke marijuana and still go to class and still study and do well.
A more disciplined person would NEVER spend 6 hours playing a computer game in one sitting, while the workload builds up.
Sure I've got excuses. I've got an addictive personality. A stressfull family situation. A house full of pot heads I can't rid myself of..... and so on..... Well my new years resolution is to be more disciplined (incase you couldn't pick out the theme of this post lol)
Mr.B
This works in my life because before when I would make lists/goals, I would beat myself up when I failed, or slipped up, or whatever and then I'd trash the whole concept and feel like a complete loser.
___________________________________________________
My greatest fear. Without a doubt.
I beleive I am capable of doing well in school. Thats why I say quitting weed is only step #1. I won't get A's just because I'm not stoned.
The root of my problems isn't marijuana, its discipline. A nasty marijuana habit is just a symptom.
A more disciplined person would be strong enough to not smoke 5 joints the night before a final exam, and then another an hour before writing it.
A more disciplined person COULD smoke marijuana and still go to class and still study and do well.
A more disciplined person would NEVER spend 6 hours playing a computer game in one sitting, while the workload builds up.
Sure I've got excuses. I've got an addictive personality. A stressfull family situation. A house full of pot heads I can't rid myself of..... and so on..... Well my new years resolution is to be more disciplined (incase you couldn't pick out the theme of this post lol)
Mr.B
For many years (up to yesterday) I thought discipline was equal to boring. So I fought against that stream.
Part of my day program at the hospital is doing yoga, meditation and tai chi. I realized it takes a lot of discipline to do that.....and it's far from boring. Geez, I really have rebelled when it comes to growing up.
I'm learning so much my head is spinning.
Part of my day program at the hospital is doing yoga, meditation and tai chi. I realized it takes a lot of discipline to do that.....and it's far from boring. Geez, I really have rebelled when it comes to growing up.
I'm learning so much my head is spinning.
Have you considered asking the potheads in your life to smoke outside or at least one agreed upon area ? My loved one goes to the garage out of respect. He also chews gum lately, which is very pleasant.
Wonderwoman,
I could do that. If I aksed them to smoke in their bedroom they would certainly respect that. But that would just be a sign of my own weakness. Every time I sit in a room with people who are smoking and I don't smoke, I feel stronger.
In past quitting attempts I let myself get so hung up on what my family members were doing I ended up stressing myself out. I got myself into the "Can't beat'em, join'em" frame of mind, which led to my relapse after over 4 months.
And in the end, what difference would it make if they are going outside to smoke or smoking right infront of me? the smell.... thats pretty well it. The oppertunity will always be there even if the smell isn't. As I wrote this post my brother came over to grab his laundry, he yelled out to me
"Whats wrong with you man!? come try this hash before its all gone! its the best I've had in months"
I said "No thanks man, I've gotta study, I've tried all sorts of hash, I'm not missing out"
I would rather there be no marijuana being smoked around me. But I know there will be, and I am prepared for it. If its not a family member, I can still smell it every time I walk through the park, or the mall parking lot, or in any of my favorite night clubs.
I'm really feeling groggy today (think its because I took a sleeping pill last night) so I hope this post makes sence.
Cheers!
Mr.B
I could do that. If I aksed them to smoke in their bedroom they would certainly respect that. But that would just be a sign of my own weakness. Every time I sit in a room with people who are smoking and I don't smoke, I feel stronger.
In past quitting attempts I let myself get so hung up on what my family members were doing I ended up stressing myself out. I got myself into the "Can't beat'em, join'em" frame of mind, which led to my relapse after over 4 months.
And in the end, what difference would it make if they are going outside to smoke or smoking right infront of me? the smell.... thats pretty well it. The oppertunity will always be there even if the smell isn't. As I wrote this post my brother came over to grab his laundry, he yelled out to me
"Whats wrong with you man!? come try this hash before its all gone! its the best I've had in months"
I said "No thanks man, I've gotta study, I've tried all sorts of hash, I'm not missing out"
I would rather there be no marijuana being smoked around me. But I know there will be, and I am prepared for it. If its not a family member, I can still smell it every time I walk through the park, or the mall parking lot, or in any of my favorite night clubs.
I'm really feeling groggy today (think its because I took a sleeping pill last night) so I hope this post makes sence.
Cheers!
Mr.B
Wow - go back and take a minute to re-read the post you have just written. Look at the progress you have made in just 4 days now!!!
As I read that I literally got chills - you have such a strong and healthy resolve to solve this problem. The only problem now is going to be the extreme jealousy from your family that you got this problem out of your life.
No matter how hard any pothead tries, I think there are few who are genuinely proud and pleased to be potheads. At the end of the day I think most know that they wish they did not need this drug.
Mr. B - does the B stand for brave? bold? bound to succeed?
I think it does. You are already winning a really hard battle. You are fast becoming my inspiration.
As I read that I literally got chills - you have such a strong and healthy resolve to solve this problem. The only problem now is going to be the extreme jealousy from your family that you got this problem out of your life.
No matter how hard any pothead tries, I think there are few who are genuinely proud and pleased to be potheads. At the end of the day I think most know that they wish they did not need this drug.
Mr. B - does the B stand for brave? bold? bound to succeed?
I think it does. You are already winning a really hard battle. You are fast becoming my inspiration.
Melgator, You are very kind. Thank you for the kind words, they put a smile on my face which is kind of what I needed.
Don't think for a secound what I am doing is any harder then what you yourself are going through. The truth is, when you really want to stop doing something, it doesn't matter what the people around you say or do. You gotta quit for yourself. And don't expect anyone to quit for you (If they tried they'd almost certainly fail, you gotta be doing this for you). I started posting on this board while I was still smoking 1/8oz a day and feeling s***ty about it. It took me months to prepare myself emotionally and psychologicaly to start this journey (as i'm sure it did for you)
It helps me to put in writing how I feel, and it is refreshing to know that my words may be helping to motivate some other people.
As for what the "B" in Mr.B stands for... It means something alright, but for now I'm gonna leave that to the imagination. If I told you now you'd only be disappointed, you'd say something like "jeeze way to use your imagination" (no its not my last initial)
Cheers to you! Your in my thoughts
Mr.B
Don't think for a secound what I am doing is any harder then what you yourself are going through. The truth is, when you really want to stop doing something, it doesn't matter what the people around you say or do. You gotta quit for yourself. And don't expect anyone to quit for you (If they tried they'd almost certainly fail, you gotta be doing this for you). I started posting on this board while I was still smoking 1/8oz a day and feeling s***ty about it. It took me months to prepare myself emotionally and psychologicaly to start this journey (as i'm sure it did for you)
It helps me to put in writing how I feel, and it is refreshing to know that my words may be helping to motivate some other people.
As for what the "B" in Mr.B stands for... It means something alright, but for now I'm gonna leave that to the imagination. If I told you now you'd only be disappointed, you'd say something like "jeeze way to use your imagination" (no its not my last initial)
Cheers to you! Your in my thoughts
Mr.B
re: 1/8 oz per day
I do take something back that I said about a week ago when hippienerd said that maybe someone should try cutting down. I said that is impossible or hard for a pothead. And I know i could never really cut down, but I was smokin about 1/2 to 3/4 oz/mo. and that was lighting up all day long with my one hitter(minus some work time), but you guys that are smoking 1/8th per day, and I know it can be done, that is a few z.'s per mo. and there is sure room to cut back at that rate. BTW, i really don't think there is any reason to smoke that much, most of the effect from pot comes from about 3 good pulls, which is how I always smoked on my one hitter.
I do take something back that I said about a week ago when hippienerd said that maybe someone should try cutting down. I said that is impossible or hard for a pothead. And I know i could never really cut down, but I was smokin about 1/2 to 3/4 oz/mo. and that was lighting up all day long with my one hitter(minus some work time), but you guys that are smoking 1/8th per day, and I know it can be done, that is a few z.'s per mo. and there is sure room to cut back at that rate. BTW, i really don't think there is any reason to smoke that much, most of the effect from pot comes from about 3 good pulls, which is how I always smoked on my one hitter.
Hardcharger: I was completely out of controll. I could buy 1/8oz at 6pm one day, and another at 6pm the next. I usually always smoked 3/4gram joints. I'm rounding up to 1/8oz. Realisticly it was more like 2.5 grams a day, 5 1/8's a week. Beleive me its not that hard to smoke that much. I don't use pipes or bongs, never did. I like joints. It was a habit. How did it happen that I was smoking that much?
This is what I think happened... I quit smoking ciggarettes... And I also like to have a little tiny bit of tobacco in my joint. If you put crack in your cheerios you'd be addicted to cheerios before you knew it. I started smoking joints like I used to smoke ciggarettes (I traded one terible habit for a much more costly one). I did this for 2 years, then I started smoking ciggarettes again (stress... whatever) but I'd smoke a joint before each and every ciggarette..... it got really bad.... thats why I came here.
It didn't help that marijuana where I live is alot cheaper then it is in the usa. I could usually always get 1/8oz of good hydro for $35 or 1/4oz of seeded indoor for the same price (maybe $45).... In the end tho it was the higher quality hydro I was buying almost all of the time (sometimes I''d get both and mix them togeither). Yeah I'd say I was smoking 2.5oz a month..... And I wasn't much of a social smoker either.... I knew I had a real problem when I'd lie to my girlfriend or my brother and say I was completely out of pot. When I said that what I really meant was "I've only got a few grams left and I want it ALL for me". Is that not a sign of a true addict? The marijuana receptors in my head were saturated with THC 15 hours a day....
It is easy for you to say there is no reason to smoke that much. And I always knew that myself... I couldn't controll myself.
I could come up with excuses all day for why i smoked soooooooo much..... but in the end it all comes down to one simple fact. My habit was out of controll.
Mr.B
This is what I think happened... I quit smoking ciggarettes... And I also like to have a little tiny bit of tobacco in my joint. If you put crack in your cheerios you'd be addicted to cheerios before you knew it. I started smoking joints like I used to smoke ciggarettes (I traded one terible habit for a much more costly one). I did this for 2 years, then I started smoking ciggarettes again (stress... whatever) but I'd smoke a joint before each and every ciggarette..... it got really bad.... thats why I came here.
It didn't help that marijuana where I live is alot cheaper then it is in the usa. I could usually always get 1/8oz of good hydro for $35 or 1/4oz of seeded indoor for the same price (maybe $45).... In the end tho it was the higher quality hydro I was buying almost all of the time (sometimes I''d get both and mix them togeither). Yeah I'd say I was smoking 2.5oz a month..... And I wasn't much of a social smoker either.... I knew I had a real problem when I'd lie to my girlfriend or my brother and say I was completely out of pot. When I said that what I really meant was "I've only got a few grams left and I want it ALL for me". Is that not a sign of a true addict? The marijuana receptors in my head were saturated with THC 15 hours a day....
It is easy for you to say there is no reason to smoke that much. And I always knew that myself... I couldn't controll myself.
I could come up with excuses all day for why i smoked soooooooo much..... but in the end it all comes down to one simple fact. My habit was out of controll.
Mr.B
Mr. B - another thing we have in common. I quit smoking cigarettes exactly six years ago thinking MJ would follow... it only led to me smoking more.
I've been sick this week which is helping stay away from the pot. Thanks for posting such great feeds - it is really helping me on this journey.
I've been sick this week which is helping stay away from the pot. Thanks for posting such great feeds - it is really helping me on this journey.
Thanks MrB for sharing that. I can really identify with you on smoking way to much pot. My partner and I quit smoking tobacco a few years ago and have definitely substituted pot to fill the void. At first it wasn't a problem but gradually it got to the point where we were smoking 1/4 oz in 2 days. Since falling off the wagon this winter I've watched myself light up after every meal, just like smoking tobacco, sometimes it's even tasted like tobacco to me and I don't lace my joints.
You're right hc, it does only take about 3 hoots to get high but for some reason I just can't stop there. I smoke until it's gone, I have no control. I am not what you call a functioning pothead.
Today is my first day pot free. I quit drinking last week so it wouldn't be so harsh.
We almost got more last night, our guy was on his way out to get it, then as usual my better judgement kicked in (not to say I always listen to it).I mentioned to my partner about my thoughts on not buying any more and he was on board. He called our contact right away and we caught him just before he left. Talk about timing!!! I really hope I can stay strong this time, it's so much easier to stay clean when I have work. I find the first week straight the hardest.
Another obstacle is how my partner and I relate to each other, there is definitely some codependency issues between the two of us. I've become so aware of how we work off eachother to make it ok to keep using. I find it very true that addiction is only a symptom of a greater hurt.
I hope this makes sense, I still feel very out of it.
dustygirl
You're right hc, it does only take about 3 hoots to get high but for some reason I just can't stop there. I smoke until it's gone, I have no control. I am not what you call a functioning pothead.
Today is my first day pot free. I quit drinking last week so it wouldn't be so harsh.
We almost got more last night, our guy was on his way out to get it, then as usual my better judgement kicked in (not to say I always listen to it).I mentioned to my partner about my thoughts on not buying any more and he was on board. He called our contact right away and we caught him just before he left. Talk about timing!!! I really hope I can stay strong this time, it's so much easier to stay clean when I have work. I find the first week straight the hardest.
Another obstacle is how my partner and I relate to each other, there is definitely some codependency issues between the two of us. I've become so aware of how we work off eachother to make it ok to keep using. I find it very true that addiction is only a symptom of a greater hurt.
I hope this makes sense, I still feel very out of it.
dustygirl
"This is what I think happened... I quit smoking ciggarettes... And I also like to have a little tiny bit of tobacco in my joint. If you put crack in your cheerios you'd be addicted to cheerios before you knew it."
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Mr. B, so well put.
I started smoking joints with tobacco a few years ago and it only helped my addiction escalate. Ever since that day, weed alone could never satisfy my cravings.
And as time went on, i only put more and more tobacco in my joints.
You're right, it's really easy to smoke 2-3 grams a day. The joints just keep getting bigger and bigger until every J is a massive canon.
It's really quite funny how the monkey on our back works so quietly and steadily until you wake up one day wondering how the hell things got so out of control. Funny and frightening
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Mr. B, so well put.
I started smoking joints with tobacco a few years ago and it only helped my addiction escalate. Ever since that day, weed alone could never satisfy my cravings.
And as time went on, i only put more and more tobacco in my joints.
You're right, it's really easy to smoke 2-3 grams a day. The joints just keep getting bigger and bigger until every J is a massive canon.
It's really quite funny how the monkey on our back works so quietly and steadily until you wake up one day wondering how the hell things got so out of control. Funny and frightening
