Hi everyone! :) I hope this finds you all feeling ok and doing well.
I don't want to take up a lot of space on the board because I know there is a lot of others posting, but I kind of wanted to keep a "log" on here of my progress...kinda makes me feel like I am really doing something here. LOL
Today makes day #4 for me with no pills! I'm really happy about this, but OMG is it ever HARD TO DO. Wow! The first couple of days were terror (almost), my mind felt so cloudy still and I was so irritable and moody and my body ached (still does). My mind was still wanting to "chase" the pills, but I would put it out of my mind for a bit until my body started having the urges agaiin and I would start thinking. I've been going through that all 4 days though. I got so use to chasing the pills...when I would take one, how I would have to "rashen" them until I got more so I would never be without and also taking the ride to get them. Man, I didn't realize how much of my time was taking away by worrying about these damned pills! They were ALWAYS, and I do mean always...the very first thing I thought of in the morning and the very last thing I thought about at night...no matter what else was going on in my life. Those perc's were a part of my everyday life. Of course I am still thinking about them, it's only been 4 LONG days without them...I have the urges really bad still, but I haven't let myself go get them. And I have been thinking about the "cost" of them...something I am NOT proud of at all. :( God, I am so sickening. What was I thinking? Pills! That's what I was thinking. That undescribable high that I have grown to love. The joy that one little oblong yellow pill could give. I felt such energy. I felt I could do anything...and usually did. I even became more outspoken than what I already am...always willing to talk and do stuff. Not now though, I'm less talkative and feel like doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Oh, how many times I have wanted to say F this and just go get a few pretty pills to ease my mind and body...but I haven't. Yet. God give me the strength to hang in there. I'm scared.
Congradulations on your four days clean! Funny isn't it how we start to realize the insanity of our disease once we start getting clean? I hope you have a good support system cause now it the time you're really going to need it. Good luck and keep up the good work. Love, Kat
PRETTYPILLS.........SO PROUD OF YOU. YOU ARE IN THE EARLY STAGES. I AM ONLY ON A SMALL DECREASE SO I STILL TAKE MINE. SOON THE DAY WILL BE HERE FOR NOT A SINGLE PILL. WOW....
YA KNOW WHAT? WHEN I WAS 14 I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY 16 Y/O BOYFRIEND. WE DATED AND WHEN I WAS 18, WE MARRIED. HE WAS MY FIRST AND ONLY . WE WERE MARRIED FOR 5 YEARS BEFORE WE HAD OUR BABY. I THOUGHT I WAS THE LUCKIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD. WHEN OUR BABY WAS 18 MONTHS OLD MY HUSBAND WAS KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT. I NEVER DRANK , NEVER TOOK DRUGS. I WAS OUT OF MY MIND WITH GRIEF. SPENT DAYS AND DAYS AT THE CEMETARY WRITING LOVE LETTERS TO MY DEAD HUSBAND. MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY WERE WORRIED ABOUT ME..AFTER MONTHS THEY THOUGHT I SHOULD SEE A PRIEST FOR SOME HELP. HE HELPED BUT THE PAIN WAS TO GREAT FOR ME. A DOCTOR OFFERED ME SOME KIND OF PILLS TO RELAX ME AND HELP ME OUT OF MY SADDNESS. I REFUSED. TIME PASSED AND MY LITTLE GIRL WAS MY REASON TO GO ON. WHY THE LONG STORY? BECAUSE EVEN IN THE MIDST OF TRAUMA, PAIN AND SUFFERING, I MADE IT THROUGH WITHOUT ANY PILLS OR ANY ALCOHOL. BUT NOW, ALL THESE YEARS LATER, I HAVE RE MARRIED ( STILL MISS MY HUSBAND THO) A WONDERFUL MAN AND HAVE HAD 3 MORE CHILDREN. I AM HAPPY IN MY LIFE AND MY CHILDREN ARE REALLY TO GOOD TO BE TRUE. AND LOOK AT ME ...ADDICTED TO PILLS. I JUST CANT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW OR WHY THIS HAPPENED TO ME. BUT KNOW WHAT?? YOU AND I WILL BE OFF TOTALLY.TOGETHER AND SOON. ...THANKS FOR LISTENING, DIANE
YA KNOW WHAT? WHEN I WAS 14 I FELL IN LOVE WITH MY 16 Y/O BOYFRIEND. WE DATED AND WHEN I WAS 18, WE MARRIED. HE WAS MY FIRST AND ONLY . WE WERE MARRIED FOR 5 YEARS BEFORE WE HAD OUR BABY. I THOUGHT I WAS THE LUCKIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD. WHEN OUR BABY WAS 18 MONTHS OLD MY HUSBAND WAS KILLED IN A CAR ACCIDENT. I NEVER DRANK , NEVER TOOK DRUGS. I WAS OUT OF MY MIND WITH GRIEF. SPENT DAYS AND DAYS AT THE CEMETARY WRITING LOVE LETTERS TO MY DEAD HUSBAND. MY FRIENDS AND FAMILY WERE WORRIED ABOUT ME..AFTER MONTHS THEY THOUGHT I SHOULD SEE A PRIEST FOR SOME HELP. HE HELPED BUT THE PAIN WAS TO GREAT FOR ME. A DOCTOR OFFERED ME SOME KIND OF PILLS TO RELAX ME AND HELP ME OUT OF MY SADDNESS. I REFUSED. TIME PASSED AND MY LITTLE GIRL WAS MY REASON TO GO ON. WHY THE LONG STORY? BECAUSE EVEN IN THE MIDST OF TRAUMA, PAIN AND SUFFERING, I MADE IT THROUGH WITHOUT ANY PILLS OR ANY ALCOHOL. BUT NOW, ALL THESE YEARS LATER, I HAVE RE MARRIED ( STILL MISS MY HUSBAND THO) A WONDERFUL MAN AND HAVE HAD 3 MORE CHILDREN. I AM HAPPY IN MY LIFE AND MY CHILDREN ARE REALLY TO GOOD TO BE TRUE. AND LOOK AT ME ...ADDICTED TO PILLS. I JUST CANT SEEM TO UNDERSTAND HOW OR WHY THIS HAPPENED TO ME. BUT KNOW WHAT?? YOU AND I WILL BE OFF TOTALLY.TOGETHER AND SOON. ...THANKS FOR LISTENING, DIANE
Just wanted to add my support PP -- 4 days is outstanding! If you were taking hydro, you should be through the worst of the physical withdrawal by now. For me, the sleep difficulties persisted the longest, but sleep did come eventually. Keeping a daily log on the Board is a great idea. It not only lets us know how you're doing, but it also can be an inspiration to others who are going through -- or thinking about going through -- the same thing. Again, congratulations and keep up the great work.
Pretty....congratulations on 4 days! I know what you're going through, as I was in love with the pretty yellow pills myself at one time, and also went c/t to get them out of my life. The feelings you describe are normal, and I promise you, will get better. Just hang in there, use the OTC meds and vitamins, try to get some exercise and pray. All of the work and suffering will pay off in multiples in the end. You are on your way to a clean, wonderful life. Keep it up, and try to get some help in staying off of the pills. Going back iis hell. Take care.
Prettypills,
Good job on 4 days, you are probaly over the worst part now, and will start feeling better in the days to come. It sucks, doesnt it? But guess what, it is well worth it. Especially since the worst is over. Do whatever it takes to stay off of them, and if you get the urge to do it, just remember how sick you were for them couple days.
Good luck
Kathy
Good job on 4 days, you are probaly over the worst part now, and will start feeling better in the days to come. It sucks, doesnt it? But guess what, it is well worth it. Especially since the worst is over. Do whatever it takes to stay off of them, and if you get the urge to do it, just remember how sick you were for them couple days.
Good luck
Kathy
