Morning all... weird thing happened this morning it's kinda freaked me out a bit.
so, i was chillin in the bath this morning when i started thinking about new year and what i'm going to get up to when before i knew it(in my head) i had made plans to get some H and get high...
I was sitting thinking of what i'll get where i'll go and how good it would be???? it was like for two or somethinhg mins i was visualising myself getting high and it looked good...
Then i snapped out of it and remembered all the sh*t that goes with that 'just once' smoke. It was so weird, scary in fact. In my head it seemed so (can't find the word) good. My mind pure raced away on it's own. I think of drugs, obviously, but i'm able to discard the thought once it enters my head, but that seemed so real.
Does that happen to anyone? Will that happen again? Mental...
Take it easy people, Kev
Peace Kev,
This has happened to you, me, and every other addict struggling with addiction. The thoughts come.....the thoughts go.....the magic key is that when they come we dont act on them. Those thoughts will decrease as times moves forward but they are apart of the package but you are doing the right thing(IMO)by processing them(quick)and getting rid of them(even quicker). ATB!
D.
This has happened to you, me, and every other addict struggling with addiction. The thoughts come.....the thoughts go.....the magic key is that when they come we dont act on them. Those thoughts will decrease as times moves forward but they are apart of the package but you are doing the right thing(IMO)by processing them(quick)and getting rid of them(even quicker). ATB!
D.
Hi Kev, you know it happens all the time, even when you've got a few years clean time under your belt. But as time goes on, you just kinda get used to discounting those thoughts, and it doesn't infringe on my enjoyment of life. The way I look at it, when we become an addict, another entity is born, what I call "my naughty little addict". When we are in active addiction, the naughty addict is in the ascendancy. It's in control, it tells us what to do, it has an iron grip over all our choices. Everything it asks of us, we do. You, the real you who was there long before the addict, is essentially a slave. When we break our addiction, the naughty little addict doesn't just die, but we learn to stop listening to it. In the early days, we are on our guard 24/7, we work hard to ignore it's constant complaining. Slowly, our new lives take shape, and we find we have other things to concentrate on, and sometimes it feels like it's gone away. But then when we are most relaxed, most susceptable to "day dreams", it pops up and says hi, rattles it's chains a bit, tries to convince you it would be a good idea to let it out for a bit of fresh air.
Your addict within has had years of getting it's own way, it knows how to get at you, it knows your every weakness, and it will never give up trying to control you. But all you have to do is tell it to shut the phuck up, you ain't interested in it's moaning and complaining, slam the door shut and walk away. Don't let it gain strength. And the more time goes on, you get more used to not acting on it's demands. The sound of its voice no longer frightens you, or unnerves you. A bit like having a bad tempered dog living in the shed at the bottom of the garden. It can't bite you unless you let it out!
love
diff xxx
Your addict within has had years of getting it's own way, it knows how to get at you, it knows your every weakness, and it will never give up trying to control you. But all you have to do is tell it to shut the phuck up, you ain't interested in it's moaning and complaining, slam the door shut and walk away. Don't let it gain strength. And the more time goes on, you get more used to not acting on it's demands. The sound of its voice no longer frightens you, or unnerves you. A bit like having a bad tempered dog living in the shed at the bottom of the garden. It can't bite you unless you let it out!
love
diff xxx
Nice methaphor or is it analogy??Diff comparing our addictive thoughts to rover down the shed...liked it.Kev as usual GYAC&Diff are spot on....yer right its like yer relaxed having a daydream and of course what creeps in but gear an the pleasure it would give...but its only passing...coz you kniow the fallout..New Yr....might end up continuing till the end of Jan.....then as Diff said Sir Smack will be having a right ol laugh at ya.
Kev mate yer certainly not alone ..im clean over a yr.and i dream&think about it alot ...not constantly but enough to know im still borderline.
Lucky you anyhow having a new yr.planning scheme.....il prob.be at home with a can of strong European lager and my daughter and her Xmas pressies...oh well!!!Take care ..Kev..............Davey
Kev mate yer certainly not alone ..im clean over a yr.and i dream&think about it alot ...not constantly but enough to know im still borderline.
Lucky you anyhow having a new yr.planning scheme.....il prob.be at home with a can of strong European lager and my daughter and her Xmas pressies...oh well!!!Take care ..Kev..............Davey
Yeah Davey, that was a beauty of an analogy, even I was impressed by that one! And it's true - in my case literally true, I do have a bad tempered dog living in the shed at the bottom of the garden! My grumpy old rottie, he has a kennel at the bottom of the garden. He's never bitten me of course, but the last numptie who tried to rob me when I was dealing felt the sharp end of his teeth. This bad tempered dog, he's on my side, my gladiator, my body guard, the big fella, my boy... he's gone lame today, musta trodden on something when I took him out for his late night walk in the rain yesterday.
love
diff xxx
love
diff xxx
Yeah me too Kev...........recently alot.
Guess ya just got to catch it is all.
You'll be alright, Kev......you're doing good.
Guess ya just got to catch it is all.
You'll be alright, Kev......you're doing good.
You caught that thought and you stopped it in it's tracks...and now you know it's coming...you got the upper hand! Maybe the bath is the best place to have those thoughts...cos I'm doubting you'll be leaping out to go score all wet and butt-naked!!! I know I'm not an addict so my opinion is kinda on the outside...but you did good...and you talked about it...that's gotta be positive.
Maddy x
Maddy x
