Day Six

Good Morning - Well my husband took off work today and I told him. He said he'll do anything to help. I don't think he realizes that I am sick though. I told him that I want to do it right this time and get professional help and he will surely be involved. He said that a couple of times he was looking for change in my purse and saw a big bottle of darvocets. He knew I always had them but didn't know I was taking them daily. So go figure. Anyway he's agitating me now being home. Ha. Ha. He's gonna paint the powder room and he's got me running for the paint. I just told him to let me be for a little bit. I'm edgy. I've got to go see the therapist today and tell him. My daughter is doing okay. She definitely has some issues. Been on ADHD meds for years and I'm not sure thats the problem. So I'm gonna keep trying to help her in any way I can. My other daughter is 12 and seems so well adjusted, has a ton of friends, always has a give and take with her friends. With my other daughter it's her way or the highway. She alienates alot of people that way. But that's life. Someone told me that she has a loving parent (actually two) and that is more important than anything. At least we are addressing the situations as they come up. She is an amazing ice hockey goalie and no one can take that away from her. Anyway thanks again everyone for all the kind words. I will touch base later after the doctor. I will make an appointment with my family doctor for next week and start looking for an outpatient program to get in. My husband said that they have meetings at our church and I told him I felt funny. He said who cares? There is a meeting tonight so maybe......
Alice, I bet you can breathe alot better now, can't you? Telling our spouse is hard, but what a relief. Now you can search for help and it doesn't have to be on the sly.

Six whole days! You are a miracle! Keep up the good work!
Well I told the therapist. Told him that honesty is important to me and that since I've been sitting in his office with my daughter I've been holding this secret. I wanted to be honest with him and myself in order to help my daughter. And of course myself. He gave me some good suggestions and said he thought I had a good plan. As far as feeling a load is off my back, I guess I feel more on the hook. That's what I needed but I don't know if that's really what I wanted. It's scary cause now I can't go running back. But that's okay. I just have to make it through today and then start over tomorrow. Have a good day!!!