Hi all, Had to work late, and then run some errands. Day 13 was good. Was busy at work. Felt good most of day. I was debating rather to keep posting each day of my sub usage, I was not sure if was becoming annoying. But, the other post encourged me to keep it going. I tryed taking my first dose at 10am,
this morning 2mgs, and it worked o.k. , really was kinda wanting to not get use to getting up and taking it. Because thats what I done with percs, got up drank coffee, then a couple percs, till I felt like getting ready. This for me right now is about changing behaviors and routines. So, I got ready for work, by just drinking coffee, ate breakfast, went to work. I was wanting my own motivation to be driving me, which it did. Then at 10am, took first dose. Before lunch I took 5htp , then ate, took the second dose at 4p.m 2mgs. Hoping to catch any depression which usually comes at evening time. This seems to be working best right now. The depression is getting better each day , just a little. Iam taking 1/2 mg. at 8pm. for a total of 4.5 mgs for the day...and plan to stay with this for a while till my body tells me to taper the 1/2 in the evening...If this is helping other people I will keep posting my daily routine. Iam trying differnt times to find what works best for me. It seems like in the morning I can get through most of the morning without sub. So, I feel like that is progess. And breaking that dependence of having to take something to get me to work....In a little hurry right now... running behind, and need to eat supper. Eating three meals a day is important for me, and taking supplements. Am feeling better each day...But look forward to being off sub.... right now Iam just trying to let my body and mind heal...Will check in a little later before bed....Always need to give thanks to everyone here on this board and Johndee. For if it was not for you all , I would not be feeling this good and would not have 14 days without percs.
Thanks
Hi takasha. it is great to see you doing so well. I think your posts are great and since there have been a lot of sub quetions lately I think you should keep posting.
best wishes
Sean
best wishes
Sean
Tak,
By all means, keep posting. I have been waiting to hear from you. Glad all is well.
Best Regards,
Tom
By all means, keep posting. I have been waiting to hear from you. Glad all is well.
Best Regards,
Tom
Thanks Men, Sean, and Tom , I appreciate that. Sharing on the board to me is a lot like sharing at a meeting its not just for who is hearing me share, but for me to get the crap out.. This board enables me to get stuff off my chest when I am not able to get to a A.A. meeting... I am grateful for it... I was going to cook me somehting to eat , but said what the heck and hit Arbys, fast food , what would a bach. do with out them... When I say Iam doing good, Iam doing good. Any day Iam not using pills or alcohol is a good day. The sub is allowing me to keep functioning in the world. I still have a lot of problems from, the after effects of using for over a year. Not just my body and mind. But, coming to terms with the shame and guilt of relapsing which is getting better by going to my meetings and talking with my sponsor. The money I spent , its like everday Iam getting a bill that I let go , bought pills instead. So, Iam having to deal with all that crap, when our priorites are nothing but pills then this is some of the things that happen. My financial issues, our going to be tough, but I have learned to put my sobriety first and foremost. I believe in A.A. and the 12 step process and that if I work the steps and work the program that is suggested. Then the promises will come true. Those of you familiar with A.A. know what promises Iam talking about.... I have to turn all my money and other problems over to a power greater than myself. For Step one is and I admitted that I was an addict and was powerless over drugs and Alcohol and my life is unamanageble by me...This is tuff to do, but I know it works, and am having to relearn this all...The first time I got sober, I went cold turkey from alcohol and demerol. This time Iam using sub from percs. and it seems like these dang percs done more damage to my brain than the demerol years back... They say our disease is progessive, Well , I freaking believe that more now than ever... The depression coming off percs was tremendous and I believe I would have contiued to use without the sub. I feel like the percs surpressed my dopamine and sertonin so much that when I stopped they were unable to operate effectively...The sub is giving them time to rejuvenate in my opinion....and Iam slowly getting better, and slowly learning to trust my higherpower more each day with my problems. As many have said including me. My worst day sober, is better than my best day using. Iam thankful to be clean of percs and alcohol today. And hope to continue one day at a time. The disease is for sure progessive, But, so is our recovery we can get better each day. It works if we work it....
Thanks to all
Thanks to all
