This is my first visit. Our daughter is a 6 year heroin addict and will be getting the naltrexone implant with rapid detox for the second time next week. The first time she had the implant, she was clean for 3 months. Then came Christmas with all our family here with their successful lives. She felt like a loser and decided to skip the next implant qnd use. It has been a roller coaster ride since then. She had committed to counseling, meetings, etc. but never followed thru. Now we are on the heels of another $8k investment and have told her this willl be the last time. We are willing to pay for implants every 3 months for as long as it takes. She is a constant source of chaos when she is here. She leaves messes everywhere, takes our things without asking and blames us for her problems. We worked hard to be good parents and have dealt with her crazy behavior for 17 years. She began sneaking out windows at night and doing pot at 14. We tried counseling, treatment and having her be a ward of the county until she was 18. She was raped while drunk and the boy is dead from an overdose. Then she had 3 DUIs and we let her sit in jail. At 32, she cant hold a job and cant stand it when she sees her successful siblings. She takes over the house when she is here and spews verbal abuse and unhappiness. Today she went nuts on me when she misplaced her car keys twice in 15 minutes. We pay for an apartment for her which she turned into a virtual slum and will be evicted in May. Three days until her dad takes her for the implant and I dread her coming here to recover. It is mqking us both wick but herer dad is so fearful about just tossing her out and having her live on the streets. Has anyone dealt with behavioral issues successfully?
motherrose,
I am so sorry for what you are going thru with your daughter.
Please go to the Families/Partners of Addicts board here and talk to other parents who are going thru or have gone thru exactly what you are. Get strength and guidance from them. You should also go to and get involved in Al-Anon meetings where you live.
Good luck and stay strong.
granny
I am so sorry for what you are going thru with your daughter.
Please go to the Families/Partners of Addicts board here and talk to other parents who are going thru or have gone thru exactly what you are. Get strength and guidance from them. You should also go to and get involved in Al-Anon meetings where you live.
Good luck and stay strong.
granny
You have to decide how much of the "behavioral issues" you can put up with. We all have our own limits but just remember your 3 c's: you didn't cause this, you can't control it and you can't cure this. She is the only one who can get herself sober. You can pump all your money into helping her but until she is ready to help herself anything you do won't help. Good luck and I agree that going to a meeting will help you deal with all of this in a much more productive way for you and your family.
Hi motherrose - your daughter has serious issues that need to be addressed - she needs professional help - not someone to hold her hands sort of counselling- she needs to see an addiction counsellor with experience- she has serious behavioral issues, lack of boundaries and may well be suffering from PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) after being raped. she also needs to deal with her addiction, implants alone wont cut it, she needs to be made aware of the effects her behaviour is having on those around her- and made to confront this - she may also have issues relating to self esteem - because of the succes of her siblings- for your part, you need to put some boundaries in place and stick to them- be firm- if she will not conform then she must be made to face the consequences of her actions- you cannot be expected to deal with this on your own - seek professional help- best of luck
hello from an old poster..this site was so informative, i made friends for a lifetime and learned many things. most things at first I thought,,,oh my son is different, Im different, no not really. Drugs and addicts and parents are really quite the same. At your daughter's age she is an adult. Her choices are made by her and the consequences are hers. She has been allowed to rule your home and that is so easy to do. If you are determined to let her stay there you and hubbie need better boundaries, tell her to get her butt over and clean up and empty her apartment, otherwise she can live in that squalor, you get to a meeting where others can help you, not her, she seems to have plenty of support. Dont let her rule your home with anger, that is your choice..good luck
