Geesh - hope I am not inundating the board too much today. It's been a while since I've posted much here. Over the past 8 months, I've undergone 3 major back surgeries...the last resulting in a laminectomy, fusion, cadaver graft, and two titanium rod/screws and whatever other hardware the ortho deemed neccessary. It's wicked x-ray to look at; however, the healing process is progresssing -- a little slow; nevertheless progressing. :)
There have been times over this past 8 months where prescription pain meds have been needed in the healing process. I thank the God of my understanding for his grace and power that is expressed through every single one of my face to face pills anonymous buddies, my sponsor, my family, my doctors, my husband (whom I turned my nursing hat over to) and to so many of you here that have allowed me to call/write to you when I needed to do so.
I read this some time ago and wanted to share it here. It certaintly was a good read for me and all of my sponsees. I think it's a great description of definig to let go.
Namaste' dear ones ~
Sammy
DEFINING TO LET GO
To let go does not mean to stop caring, it means I can't do it for someone else.
To let go is not to cut myself off, it's the realization I can't control another.
To let go is not to enable but to allow learning from natural consequences.
To let go is to admit powerlessness which means the outcome is not in my hands.
To let go is not to try to change or blame another, it is to make the most of myself.
To let go is not to judge but to allow another to be human.
To let go is not to be in the middle arranging all the outcomes, but to allow others to effect their destinies.
To let go is not to be protective, it is to permit another to face reality.
To let go is not to deny but to accept.
To let go is not to nag, scold or argue, but to search out my own shortcomings and correct them.
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
To let go is not to criticize and regulate anybody but to try and become what I dream to be.
To let go is not to regret the past, but to grow and live for the future.
To let go is to fear less, and to love more.
No matter what anybody else does or says, only I am responsible for what I say or do.
Hey Sammy:
Nice to see your feeling better. That's a nasty bunch of operations. I know we missed each other. I have my little one this weekend lots of crazy sheet happening but I am doing okay. Please e-mail a phone # to suboxman@aol.com
Will be in contact.
Love -Jeff
Nice to see your feeling better. That's a nasty bunch of operations. I know we missed each other. I have my little one this weekend lots of crazy sheet happening but I am doing okay. Please e-mail a phone # to suboxman@aol.com
Will be in contact.
Love -Jeff
Hi Sammy. Thank you so much for your post. I needed to see that.
I guess my problem is:
I feel like letting go is not taking responsibility for my actions
I feel like letting go is giving up.
I feel like letting go is asking someone else to deal with my problems.
I feel like letting go will make things worse.
I feel like letting go means I'm a failure.
Everytime I try to let go and I feel things slipping away, I grab em back
Everytime I think of letting go its scares the hell out of me.
I'm dealing with things but sometimes in a dangerous way. You made me realize this boy needs to work on me.
Thank you Sammy
Thank you Sammy for just being you
Frank
To let go is not to adjust everything to my desires but to take each day as it comes and cherish myself in it.
Dear Jeff, Frank, and Stacey ~
It makes me extremely happy that there is something I could share that has helped you. When we get right down to the skinny of things - it's one addict sharing their experience, hope, strength, and love that matters. That's why meetings are important to me. It has been my experience that meetings don't necessarily keep me sober; however, it gives me a place to go where I can share the E, S, & H that I have been blessed with others to the still suffering.
Jeff - I will give you a call sometime this week. I still have your number and we shall catch up.
Frank - Thank you for your kind words. I know precisely where you are coming from when you wrote what you wrote. The miracle I can promise you is that the longer we hang around, don't use, and do the next right thing...more is revealed. A shift in our perception takes place and that is no small feat. Hang in there buddy, and if there is anything I can do to help you, you just let me know.
Stacey - I love you and look forward to each time we speak. Still waiting to hear when you are ready to start a PA meeting; nevertheless, I've learned a whole lot about patience and tolerance. You just let me know when and I will be there to help you get things rolling. And - don't be a stranger, my friend. I do talk about other things than PA. <beg>
Until later - I love you all and thanks for letting me share.
Namaste' ~
Sammy
It makes me extremely happy that there is something I could share that has helped you. When we get right down to the skinny of things - it's one addict sharing their experience, hope, strength, and love that matters. That's why meetings are important to me. It has been my experience that meetings don't necessarily keep me sober; however, it gives me a place to go where I can share the E, S, & H that I have been blessed with others to the still suffering.
Jeff - I will give you a call sometime this week. I still have your number and we shall catch up.
Frank - Thank you for your kind words. I know precisely where you are coming from when you wrote what you wrote. The miracle I can promise you is that the longer we hang around, don't use, and do the next right thing...more is revealed. A shift in our perception takes place and that is no small feat. Hang in there buddy, and if there is anything I can do to help you, you just let me know.
Stacey - I love you and look forward to each time we speak. Still waiting to hear when you are ready to start a PA meeting; nevertheless, I've learned a whole lot about patience and tolerance. You just let me know when and I will be there to help you get things rolling. And - don't be a stranger, my friend. I do talk about other things than PA. <beg>
Until later - I love you all and thanks for letting me share.
Namaste' ~
Sammy
Sammy,
( Hang in there buddy and if there is anything I can do to help you, you just let me know )
You just did Sammy
God Bless
Frank
( Hang in there buddy and if there is anything I can do to help you, you just let me know )
You just did Sammy
God Bless
Frank
Hey Sammy.....I am so sorry to hear what has been happening to you this past year....please know I am sending you hugs right now! I would love to hear from you if you want to write....so much has happened since we last connected....keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.....love Rus
Thanks Frank. It really is good to see you posting here again. I just love it when I see a message from someone who dates back to when I first joined ARG.
Rus - I just sent you an email to that dog.com email address you have in your signature. If for some reason you don't receive it, please write to me at dsam2u@gmail.com. I'll send you my contact info.
Hugs ~
Sammy
Rus - I just sent you an email to that dog.com email address you have in your signature. If for some reason you don't receive it, please write to me at dsam2u@gmail.com. I'll send you my contact info.
Hugs ~
Sammy