Ugh, once again I sit here, thinking about all the harm I've caused & wondering how life got so f***ed up in just the few months I've been in school. I never knew likin a guy could make life so complicated. & what bites worse is that when I finally got everything to calm down, he doesn't even talk to me. He's goin back out w/ his ex (the one who got pissed) & I feel really horrible for making them go through this. All I did was tell her how I felt. Better she find out that way than from others...right??? Okay, here's what happened. I knew this gurl & we talked from time to time & I also knew her b.f. He was awesome, the type of guy that could make neone weak in the knees. He helped me through some of my most worst times. So I found out that they broke up & finally I couldn't hold it in any longer so I told her how I felt about him. It started up this whole huge conflict & even though I apologized & everything she still holds this grudge. So what do I do? I finally decide to just act like we're still friends & she goes & splits up our lunch table. URGH!!! But it didn't completely work b/c a couple of friends sided w/ me. Yet there was still all this b.s. flyin around. Finally Halloween comes around & I decided to make cute little ghost blow pop suckers. I also decided to give her one to keep w/ the "act like nothin happened" routine. & guess what...THAT SOLVES IT. A dumb sucker, no bigger that my hand solves it?! How wierd. But now I feel horrible. My friends tell me she's the one w/ the prob & all & that she's just trying to make me feel bad...& it's working. That bites. So now I'm all depressed & feeling like I made a mess of things once again. It makes me think back to the 6th grade when I almost "bought the farm" b/c a girl wouldn't leave me alone & other s***y memories that only bring me down more. This so suxs & I don't know how else to get over it xcept sleep, but that isn't a good choice b/c the guilt is still gonna be there when I wake up. Which leaves me not wanting to wake up..........I really think there's something wrong w/ me b/c last year & the year b4 when school started it was like this. Depression. & one day I slep 22hrs b/c I was so depressed. I also didn't feel like wakin up. I didn't eat all that day. A couple of nights ago I got 15hrs of sleep. Which is wierd b/c that means that I had to go to bed @ 4 P.M. I really need to know what's wrong w/ me. Does nebody have ne clues. It's drivin me insane & if I don't figure it out soon I dunno what I'll do. I know one thing's for sure. It's the worst at night. That's always when it's the worse. Please someone help me, it's drivin me insane. I'm sry this is so long, but I just can't go on nelong w/o knowin or havin some clue as to what might be wrong w/ me. HELP!!!
E-June
For some reason when i am depressed the nights are the worst for me as well. In fact most people that are sick and have fevers will find that their temperatures rise at night for some physiological explanation.
Not too clear on the main focus of your current plight. Are you feeling more rejected by this man or his ex wife? How come you didn't tell this guy how you were feeling before you let on to his ex wife? Myself personally i would have dealt with the object of my desire first before dealing with the object of his desire as i know she would surely get jealous.
How does all this tie in with certain feelings that apparently have been dredged up since your childhood and have evoked the same sad panicky feelings in you at present?
Sorry you are feeling so blue but i am a bit confused on it all.
asleep at the wheel
For some reason when i am depressed the nights are the worst for me as well. In fact most people that are sick and have fevers will find that their temperatures rise at night for some physiological explanation.
Not too clear on the main focus of your current plight. Are you feeling more rejected by this man or his ex wife? How come you didn't tell this guy how you were feeling before you let on to his ex wife? Myself personally i would have dealt with the object of my desire first before dealing with the object of his desire as i know she would surely get jealous.
How does all this tie in with certain feelings that apparently have been dredged up since your childhood and have evoked the same sad panicky feelings in you at present?
Sorry you are feeling so blue but i am a bit confused on it all.
asleep at the wheel
First off, I'm 16 (this should simplify it for ya a bit). She's a friend & i thought I could come out & be straight w/ her but apparently it was a mistake. I just feel bad for makin them go through rough times when I'm normally the person helping others get over those rough times. LIfe is improvin a bit now b/c I'm slowly realizin it's in the past. Things from the past sometimes do come back to haunt me, & that's when I have trouble dealing w/ them. I do miss the guy b/c we were actually pretty good friends b4 & now she's got him not talkin to me. Ugh.
E-June
E-June
