"If the boulders are moved,
Even a river will change its flow."
Job looks pitiful right now?
The love of your life hasn't appeared?
The love of your life has appeared and you wish they would go away?
You can't go party with the crowd after work?
Your family hates you for whatever reason?
You hate your family?
Your broke?
You feel like sh*t because of some seasonal bug going around?
You feel stressed because of the traffic?
Your dog resents you because you won't play ball with him?
etc.,etc.,etc.,
Its real easy to get into self pity.Ive done it and I'm sure you've done it at some point.We are inundated with messages on TV and everywhere that we need to fit into some mold that we can't.
What has gotten me into trouble are my expectations.They can be completely blown out of proportion right now.I have to slow my mind down and ask myself some tough questions.
Am I better off now than when I was using? Have my perception of the holidays been out of whack for all these years?How can I enjoy these times with some close friends and just be grateful of where I'm at today?
It is all about me shifting my perception.It can be just another day or it can something that I conjure up that will be impossible to meet.
I feel pretty good so far.I even got a lot of satisfaction sending out Christmas cards.I think its going to be a great Christmas.
How are you managing your holidays so far?
Morning Tim....
Good topic and so far so good this year....I am doing it on a day by day basis and praying continuously, extra meetings and talking a whole bunch with others in the program daily......you stated in your post about expectations and this year, I have no expectations on how it is supposed to go.....in fact, my husband and kids & I were talking about going to the movies that day, you know, something totally different....
Anyways, I am okay with the holidays this year and I have the tools & friends and know when to get my butt to a meeting (which are going full throttle right now)........This year I am grateful that I can enjoy a day clean & sober and know there are no more big deals....
Love ya,
Stacey
Good topic and so far so good this year....I am doing it on a day by day basis and praying continuously, extra meetings and talking a whole bunch with others in the program daily......you stated in your post about expectations and this year, I have no expectations on how it is supposed to go.....in fact, my husband and kids & I were talking about going to the movies that day, you know, something totally different....
Anyways, I am okay with the holidays this year and I have the tools & friends and know when to get my butt to a meeting (which are going full throttle right now)........This year I am grateful that I can enjoy a day clean & sober and know there are no more big deals....
Love ya,
Stacey
hey..........great post.
stacey..........thats what hubby says were gonna do............go to the movies!
never did that before.......
thats fun
and i think were gonna even eat out..........
so i dont have to mess the kitchen all up and everything........
thumper
stacey..........thats what hubby says were gonna do............go to the movies!
never did that before.......
thats fun
and i think were gonna even eat out..........
so i dont have to mess the kitchen all up and everything........
thumper
I have expectations this year..........and they are all low ones.Those always get met.LOL
I'm going to see "Casino Royale" today and on Thursday I have a girlfriend visiting from South Dakota and we are going to see "For Your Consideration".It's the same guys that did "Best In Show" and "A Mighty Wind Blows"....they were hiarious.
Anybody seen those?
I'm going to see "Casino Royale" today and on Thursday I have a girlfriend visiting from South Dakota and we are going to see "For Your Consideration".It's the same guys that did "Best In Show" and "A Mighty Wind Blows"....they were hiarious.
Anybody seen those?
No, haven't seen them...we only get out to the movies about once a year so I try to make sure it's something I really want to see....
I want to see Rocky Balboa but the rest of the family is trying to unconvince me...We're going bowling on Christmas Eve but that's kind of become a tradition with a couple of friends & the kids....It is so fun....
And Tim, the only expectation I have for Christmas is I wake up and if that is met, it is going to be okay.......
xoxo
I want to see Rocky Balboa but the rest of the family is trying to unconvince me...We're going bowling on Christmas Eve but that's kind of become a tradition with a couple of friends & the kids....It is so fun....
And Tim, the only expectation I have for Christmas is I wake up and if that is met, it is going to be okay.......
xoxo
I'm hoping to have Christmas Eve with ONLY my son and husband. I have already told him that I WILL NOT be cooking for his brother and the weird GF...
Hi Janet....
Discuss your boundries ahead of time and stick with it, girlfriend....we are allowed to say the word "no" and be okay with it.....
xoxo
Stacey
Discuss your boundries ahead of time and stick with it, girlfriend....we are allowed to say the word "no" and be okay with it.....
xoxo
Stacey
I am so grateful for the fellowship of AA. When I moved to Florida I didn't know anyone but my son and he was busy every holiday. I spent my holidays with my new family. I still make sure I stop off to say hi at the 12 step house. This year I am cooking dinner and my son will come over and that's it. No expectations. I was supposed to go to Key Largo but we decided against it till New Years so it's going to be presents, dinner, and tv. I love uneventful. It's so peaceful.
Edit to say
My sponsor taught me 'no' is a complete sentence.
Edit to say
My sponsor taught me 'no' is a complete sentence.
Unfortunately my situation has snowballed out of control. I'm sure you remember be b*tching about this, but my BIL wormed his way into the family when I was out using (on a weekly basis) and I have yet to reclaim my weekends. Rough situation when you have to try to set boundaries and keep peace in the family
I was doing pretty well until Saturday afternoon late. My husband had a really bad car wreck, in which, fortunately no one was seriously injured.
It wasn't his fault, although his truck is totaled...and it is a sign that an angel is with him, because you cannot imagine he walked away from that unscathed.
The young driver of the other car who turned in front of him was not hurt, and thankfully, she has this experience to help her slow down, and pay close attention. So, why be upset?
For me, it has just touched off this feeling I had barely began to shake...of just how fragile life really is...How in just a split second, everything can change. I am just now beginning to be able to understand my friend is truly gone...and accept that as reality...and somehow this accident has made me even sadder.
I don't know if I can explain it, but it is just the tiniest crack in my emotional armor...and it feels like I am about to sink completely. My father is gone, my friend is gone, and my husband just freakishly survived an unbelievable accident. I feel a little like a tinker toy in someone's cosmic game right now.
Bellyaching....sorry, I need some feedback.
Sarah
It wasn't his fault, although his truck is totaled...and it is a sign that an angel is with him, because you cannot imagine he walked away from that unscathed.
The young driver of the other car who turned in front of him was not hurt, and thankfully, she has this experience to help her slow down, and pay close attention. So, why be upset?
For me, it has just touched off this feeling I had barely began to shake...of just how fragile life really is...How in just a split second, everything can change. I am just now beginning to be able to understand my friend is truly gone...and accept that as reality...and somehow this accident has made me even sadder.
I don't know if I can explain it, but it is just the tiniest crack in my emotional armor...and it feels like I am about to sink completely. My father is gone, my friend is gone, and my husband just freakishly survived an unbelievable accident. I feel a little like a tinker toy in someone's cosmic game right now.
Bellyaching....sorry, I need some feedback.
Sarah
Sarah...
Allow yourself to feel the feelings you are trying to suppress...When that feeling comes upon me you described, I know that's when I need a meeting and the support of my friends so maybe you need to call someone and talk through all these feelings that are trying to surface...For me, when I walk through the feelings and allow myself to feel what I feel, cry if I need to, be pissed off, whatever I am feeling and then after a bit, I pray to my HP and ask for his help to take it from me.....I am so glad your husband had his HP watching out for him and he is okay....If you need to talk, I'm here....
(((hugs))))
Stacey
Allow yourself to feel the feelings you are trying to suppress...When that feeling comes upon me you described, I know that's when I need a meeting and the support of my friends so maybe you need to call someone and talk through all these feelings that are trying to surface...For me, when I walk through the feelings and allow myself to feel what I feel, cry if I need to, be pissed off, whatever I am feeling and then after a bit, I pray to my HP and ask for his help to take it from me.....I am so glad your husband had his HP watching out for him and he is okay....If you need to talk, I'm here....
(((hugs))))
Stacey
These brushes with mortality have a tendency for bringing my gratitude meter up a notch...there has been yet another death of someone that my husband and I know...at this time of year it seems like it hits so much harder. I have to remind myself of what I have to be grateful for and to pray for those who are not as fortunate.
My MIL went to the dr today and found out that she has a stress fracture in her back, rather than her one kidney acting up. I am grateful and also sad that she has to endure the pain.
My MIL went to the dr today and found out that she has a stress fracture in her back, rather than her one kidney acting up. I am grateful and also sad that she has to endure the pain.
Tim:
I will definitely check out that movie. I love all of Christopher Guest's films. Did you see Waiting for Guffman? Catherine O'Hara, Eugene Levy, Fred Willard and Parker Posey are hilarious. I love that he brings back the same ensemble cast in all of his work.
I will definitely check out that movie. I love all of Christopher Guest's films. Did you see Waiting for Guffman? Catherine O'Hara, Eugene Levy, Fred Willard and Parker Posey are hilarious. I love that he brings back the same ensemble cast in all of his work.
Sarah...
YGM....
Hi Rachel...nice to see you!
xoxo
YGM....
Hi Rachel...nice to see you!
xoxo
