Hi, I have just found this web site and its a relief, I have taken the first step by admitting I need help to get off the smoke and booze.
I am so sick of feeling like s***, being paranoid and not doing things that I enjoy because Im always stoned.Ive been toking for 15 years and quite honistly cant imagine what life will be like when Im not skinning up.
I am absolutly terrified of the hidden emotions I have buried deep within, my mood swings are already bad, im fed up with feeling guilty for not quite being there mentally for my kids and I am constantly worrying that I will die of throat cancer and leave my kids with no mother.
My own mother died of stomach cancer when I was 12 and most of my past relationships with men have involved plenty of violence.
I desperatly want to change, even writing this I have a lump in my throat and my eyes are watering. I am taking part in a recovery program but I cant see a light at the end of my tunnel at the moment.I look at myself in the mirror and think, what have you done to yourself you look like a sack of s***
frostyfairy
hello and welcome to our cyberspace. i completely understand the feeling of being scared to death of the thought of living without smoking weed. i smoked several times a day, every day for a least 20 years. the thought of running out would send me into a panic. but it became such a hassle and i wasnt getting that great high feeling anymore. my kids were aware of the habit and had no respect for me at all . i struggled with the thought of quiting for quite a while. but made the decision to quit. finished the last bag and have not bought or smoked anymore. i have been clean for 62 days now. i wont tell you it was easy. the first few days were hell. but after a few weeks it started getting better. my depression has lifted and the mood swings are getting better. i am starting to enjoy life sober. drugs and alcohol have cost me and my family a very dear price. if you are interested in that story, you can go back a page and read the post "the rest of the story". this message board is a great source of support. i used it alot in the first few weeks. there are many people here going through the same thing. it helps to know your not alone in this battle. i wish you all the luck in your battle to win over addiction.
hello and welcome to our cyberspace. i completely understand the feeling of being scared to death of the thought of living without smoking weed. i smoked several times a day, every day for a least 20 years. the thought of running out would send me into a panic. but it became such a hassle and i wasnt getting that great high feeling anymore. my kids were aware of the habit and had no respect for me at all . i struggled with the thought of quiting for quite a while. but made the decision to quit. finished the last bag and have not bought or smoked anymore. i have been clean for 62 days now. i wont tell you it was easy. the first few days were hell. but after a few weeks it started getting better. my depression has lifted and the mood swings are getting better. i am starting to enjoy life sober. drugs and alcohol have cost me and my family a very dear price. if you are interested in that story, you can go back a page and read the post "the rest of the story". this message board is a great source of support. i used it alot in the first few weeks. there are many people here going through the same thing. it helps to know your not alone in this battle. i wish you all the luck in your battle to win over addiction.
thanks cajun lady and congratulations yourself for quiting I hope and pray one day I can say 'Ive given up', did you need any kind of medication for the first couple of weeks or did you just go through it ?, I know I have trouble sleeping and get very anxious and panicy when I havent got it.
ff
i used no medications to help with the withdrawal. i slept alot, but i hear most people get insomnia. i cried alot. i was very depressed for the first 2-3 weeks.
but i hear all this is normal. and i promise you that it will pass. i got alot of feed back off this board. some times it takes a few days, so dont get to antsy if you dont get many replies right away. my advice is to read lots of old post and feel free to reply to them. this will help you to see you are not alone. and will help others get familiar with you. wonderwomen has some really great post that are very informative. dont hesitate to jump right in. again best wishes to you.
i used no medications to help with the withdrawal. i slept alot, but i hear most people get insomnia. i cried alot. i was very depressed for the first 2-3 weeks.
but i hear all this is normal. and i promise you that it will pass. i got alot of feed back off this board. some times it takes a few days, so dont get to antsy if you dont get many replies right away. my advice is to read lots of old post and feel free to reply to them. this will help you to see you are not alone. and will help others get familiar with you. wonderwomen has some really great post that are very informative. dont hesitate to jump right in. again best wishes to you.
Hey FF, you're taking the first step in coming here.
I'm not going to lie... it's not easy at first, but you CAN do it. The first week blows. But it gets easier as time passes. If you read through my post entitled "Newly Clean", you'll see that I quit almost two years ago, only to fail and try again. That post has kicked around these boards that long.
Today marks 1 month clean for me. I've combined that with working out, and I set some goals for myself. In my case, my goals involve athletics and physical fitness. I had to find something to fill the void.
That's my biggest piece of advice, find something else to take the place of pot. The more idle time you have, especially at first, the easier it will be to fall back into your old habits. You probably won't have much motivation, but you need to force yourself to stay positive and forge ahead.
You too can do this. You'll get all sorts of good advice here - I say you pick a date and begin the process soon. It might suck at first, but eventually, you'll be very happy you made the choice!
Good luck!
J
I'm not going to lie... it's not easy at first, but you CAN do it. The first week blows. But it gets easier as time passes. If you read through my post entitled "Newly Clean", you'll see that I quit almost two years ago, only to fail and try again. That post has kicked around these boards that long.
Today marks 1 month clean for me. I've combined that with working out, and I set some goals for myself. In my case, my goals involve athletics and physical fitness. I had to find something to fill the void.
That's my biggest piece of advice, find something else to take the place of pot. The more idle time you have, especially at first, the easier it will be to fall back into your old habits. You probably won't have much motivation, but you need to force yourself to stay positive and forge ahead.
You too can do this. You'll get all sorts of good advice here - I say you pick a date and begin the process soon. It might suck at first, but eventually, you'll be very happy you made the choice!
Good luck!
J
Its just such a relief knowing poeple out there are in and have been through how I feel now, I spent hours reading old posts yesterday and its all encouraging for me . I nearly sent myself into a panic frenzy yesterday, I took too much base on sat night, had half a joint yest and felt like I was going to have a heart attack, this scared the s*** out of me so Im going to take today as my first day of being cannibis free, I hope I can do it, for me the really hard time is the evenings, guess Im gonna have to get down to the library !! or take up knitting !!
This website will be my life line from now on , hope you all dont mind, but I really need support XX
This website will be my life line from now on , hope you all dont mind, but I really need support XX
ff
ok. gotta help me out here, whats base? i hope day 1 goes well for you. like just j said, stay busy. you can do this. and post all you want. i enjoy it.
ok. gotta help me out here, whats base? i hope day 1 goes well for you. like just j said, stay busy. you can do this. and post all you want. i enjoy it.
F.F. , I hope you are doing well and I am happy to hear that you want to get better. When you say "base" are you reffering to cocaine with baking soda? In other words "crack cocaine" ?
Good morning. I have been around reading posts and trying to gather some tools to quit smoking for a while now and I seem to be stuck in this miserable cycle. Today was sopposed to be my day 1, and i caved.
Today needs to somehow be different, I guess I should line up some sacred time like hippie suggests. Ok from 1:00 - 6:00 today I am NOT smoking! Wow that makes me feel sick inside just saying it. But like i said today needs to be different. I have been trying to cold turkey this one but man oh man I keep caving in and walking around ALL DAY feeling so bad about myself. There is some true strength here and I find myself learning alot from my predesessors here on this board. So I hope its ok to hang out here with you guys?
Frosty fairy I feel your pain and frustration as you can see i am also going through it and I wish you the best.
Cajun lady you are doing AWESOME and I am so proud of both you and Bubba. I feel like i know you guys. lol
Just J, I think it is wonderful how you have stuck to the plan and are doing the dam thing. You are such an inspiration to me, I am going to try replace smoking with exercise that is a great idea! I am a bit overweight now
from the late night munchies so exercise would be a great substitute.
I hope that when the pot is out of my system my appetite returns to normal, Pot sure makes me crave food all night and even during the day I notice myself craving sweets and junk. I hope that goes away. Did you guys notice a change in appetite?
I wish you all a wonderful and successful day. Love, Traya
Today needs to somehow be different, I guess I should line up some sacred time like hippie suggests. Ok from 1:00 - 6:00 today I am NOT smoking! Wow that makes me feel sick inside just saying it. But like i said today needs to be different. I have been trying to cold turkey this one but man oh man I keep caving in and walking around ALL DAY feeling so bad about myself. There is some true strength here and I find myself learning alot from my predesessors here on this board. So I hope its ok to hang out here with you guys?
Frosty fairy I feel your pain and frustration as you can see i am also going through it and I wish you the best.
Cajun lady you are doing AWESOME and I am so proud of both you and Bubba. I feel like i know you guys. lol
Just J, I think it is wonderful how you have stuck to the plan and are doing the dam thing. You are such an inspiration to me, I am going to try replace smoking with exercise that is a great idea! I am a bit overweight now
from the late night munchies so exercise would be a great substitute.
I hope that when the pot is out of my system my appetite returns to normal, Pot sure makes me crave food all night and even during the day I notice myself craving sweets and junk. I hope that goes away. Did you guys notice a change in appetite?
I wish you all a wonderful and successful day. Love, Traya
FF~ I agree that the post about PAWS is very scary. To think that maybe suicide would be the only option to stop the pain is just unbearable! I want you to know that for me its all about my attitude. I have tried to quit numerous times & though I had seriously cut down I never made it very far without having what I call a Tide me over toke. This is the first time I have actually completely abstained. Before I would actually get violently ill, vomiting & not able to eat anything. Feeling so freaking sick. I realize now that it was all in my head. I didnt WANT to quit so I was making myself sick so I could justify picking up again. This time I am not sick. I am also seeing that before I would not eat until noon everday & I would smoke myself into oblivion during the morning hours. I can't go without eating now. I have to get up & immediatley eat something. Then I can't wait long stretches without food. I have to continuly nourish myself or I do start to feel queasy again. I was also so freakin dehydrated & my thirst for water has picked up immensly. I used coffee the first few days but I have cut that back out to. Today is day 7 for me & I swear its all about whether or not you truly WANT to quit. Sometimes it takes us awhile to get to that point of no turning back & I am finally ready for that. It was my decision & I'm enjoying the feeling of accomplishment & the feeling that I have taken back control of my life. Please dont think your going to go pshyco. I promise when you are ready it will be easier to do then when you are still desperately clinging to your crutch.
Traya~ Welcome to our wonderful, supportive cyber family. I have met some amazing people here & they have stuck with me through my many attempts at quitting. For me it actually took watching a man burn to death to snap me out of my bubble. Pretty extreme measures if you ask me but a friend of mine put it so beautifully. The man who died has been considered a hero for saving the lives of the people in the van he was about to hit, well my friend brought it to my attention that this man is my very own hero to because he not only saved their lives but he saved my life too. It makes me cry just thinking about this man & how it took him losing his life for me to see how much my own life means to me.
I hope you will continue to join us & share you experiences.
Love to everyone,
Cole
Traya~ Welcome to our wonderful, supportive cyber family. I have met some amazing people here & they have stuck with me through my many attempts at quitting. For me it actually took watching a man burn to death to snap me out of my bubble. Pretty extreme measures if you ask me but a friend of mine put it so beautifully. The man who died has been considered a hero for saving the lives of the people in the van he was about to hit, well my friend brought it to my attention that this man is my very own hero to because he not only saved their lives but he saved my life too. It makes me cry just thinking about this man & how it took him losing his life for me to see how much my own life means to me.
I hope you will continue to join us & share you experiences.
Love to everyone,
Cole
AEA
so good to hear you are on day 7. congratulations. i knew you could do it. it seems like just yesterday you were giving me the encouragement i needed to beat this thing. not saying that i have completely won the battle. but i feel i am winning it right now. keep your head up. it gets better every day. i promise.
TRAYA
welcome to our cyberspace. just take it one day or one hour at a time. hippienerds sacred time sounds like a great way to start. although i could not do it that way. for me it had to be all or nothing. i had no will power. if it was there i was gonna be smokin it. to me making the decsion to quit was actually the hardest part. just hang in there. you can do this. post all you like. i really enjoy it. this is the first thing i do when i get out of bed or get home from work. always looking for new post. this board has been my "program" and so far it is working for me. good to see some fresh people on here.
so good to hear you are on day 7. congratulations. i knew you could do it. it seems like just yesterday you were giving me the encouragement i needed to beat this thing. not saying that i have completely won the battle. but i feel i am winning it right now. keep your head up. it gets better every day. i promise.
TRAYA
welcome to our cyberspace. just take it one day or one hour at a time. hippienerds sacred time sounds like a great way to start. although i could not do it that way. for me it had to be all or nothing. i had no will power. if it was there i was gonna be smokin it. to me making the decsion to quit was actually the hardest part. just hang in there. you can do this. post all you like. i really enjoy it. this is the first thing i do when i get out of bed or get home from work. always looking for new post. this board has been my "program" and so far it is working for me. good to see some fresh people on here.
FrostyFairy,
I understand terrified all too well.
I imagine the emotions will come when you are ready to experience them. Not one minute before. One thing that has helped me is to remember that they are just emotions, they are "part" of me not "all ' of me. Just like I am not only an "addict" I am much more than that. Defining ourselves gets us into negetive thinking patterns.
On a lighter note, a sack of s*** can be very useful when one wants to grow a lovely plant. :-)
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother at such a young age, that must be a lonely feeling, a lost feeling. :-( We will be here to help you through this. This is not easy, but I have tasted the freedom from pot and it is good, I promise you that. Recovery is not a science, it is an art....in my opinion. You have to be creative.
I understand terrified all too well.
I imagine the emotions will come when you are ready to experience them. Not one minute before. One thing that has helped me is to remember that they are just emotions, they are "part" of me not "all ' of me. Just like I am not only an "addict" I am much more than that. Defining ourselves gets us into negetive thinking patterns.
On a lighter note, a sack of s*** can be very useful when one wants to grow a lovely plant. :-)
I'm so sorry for the loss of your mother at such a young age, that must be a lonely feeling, a lost feeling. :-( We will be here to help you through this. This is not easy, but I have tasted the freedom from pot and it is good, I promise you that. Recovery is not a science, it is an art....in my opinion. You have to be creative.
Traya,
I wish YOU a wonderful, successful day today !
Love,
Diana
I wish YOU a wonderful, successful day today !
Love,
Diana
Hi everyone Ive managed to get through a whole day without a spliff, kids are going to bed now so this is going to get tricky at this time of night, by the way Im English and some drug terms may well be different , base is pure amphetamine and dope is ganja.
I have been wanting and thinking of giving up for 5 years now, every day I worry I am risking my childrens mother for the sake of sending myself into oblivion all the time, I am about to start a program which starts tomorow to help me get off the booze and ganja and learn to deal with my emotions and stress without drinking and toking, I am actually now looking forward to it.
I really do feel the frightening experience I had on sunday may have done the trick, similar to you aea, I really thought I was going to have a heart attack, my heart was pounding a thousand beats a second and I was practically hyper ventalating and the worst thing is my daughter saw me and was asking what was wrong, I couldnt tell her the truth, but really struggled to get through without loosing the plot or freaking out, I never want to be in that position again.
Its wierd I keep smelling it even though I havent smoked any.
Im having a craving right now, I love the smell of it , the taste, I love what the plant looks like, but its not good for me , its bad for me now and somehow Ive got to get that into my skull. If Im like this on day 1 what the hell am I going to be like on day 4 or 5, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggggrrrrrr
I have been wanting and thinking of giving up for 5 years now, every day I worry I am risking my childrens mother for the sake of sending myself into oblivion all the time, I am about to start a program which starts tomorow to help me get off the booze and ganja and learn to deal with my emotions and stress without drinking and toking, I am actually now looking forward to it.
I really do feel the frightening experience I had on sunday may have done the trick, similar to you aea, I really thought I was going to have a heart attack, my heart was pounding a thousand beats a second and I was practically hyper ventalating and the worst thing is my daughter saw me and was asking what was wrong, I couldnt tell her the truth, but really struggled to get through without loosing the plot or freaking out, I never want to be in that position again.
Its wierd I keep smelling it even though I havent smoked any.
Im having a craving right now, I love the smell of it , the taste, I love what the plant looks like, but its not good for me , its bad for me now and somehow Ive got to get that into my skull. If Im like this on day 1 what the hell am I going to be like on day 4 or 5, aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrggggggggggrrrrrr
ff
day one is the hardest. each day it will become a little easier. take some you time. go take a bath, shave your legs, give your self a facial,tweese your eye brows, exercise, have a cup of tea. anything to get your mind off of the craving will help. be strong. you can do this. i have faith in you.
day one is the hardest. each day it will become a little easier. take some you time. go take a bath, shave your legs, give your self a facial,tweese your eye brows, exercise, have a cup of tea. anything to get your mind off of the craving will help. be strong. you can do this. i have faith in you.
thankyou so much for your kind words cajun lady, they mean a lot to me.
I managed to go without yesterday and my recovery meeting today was heavily emotional and painful, today Ive gone from being petrified and disorientated to feeling determined, with lots of support I can do this, I do not want to be an alcoholic or a stoner.
Today I bought myself some throat comfort herbal tea and honey, its an ancient indian remedy. I thought my throat deserved it after all the smoking its had to put up with over the years and it certainly makes a change from buying wine.
Well day 2 now and no ganja for me xx
I managed to go without yesterday and my recovery meeting today was heavily emotional and painful, today Ive gone from being petrified and disorientated to feeling determined, with lots of support I can do this, I do not want to be an alcoholic or a stoner.
Today I bought myself some throat comfort herbal tea and honey, its an ancient indian remedy. I thought my throat deserved it after all the smoking its had to put up with over the years and it certainly makes a change from buying wine.
Well day 2 now and no ganja for me xx
Take care of yourself FF.
I have been addicted to pot and alcohol for 15 years. This is my first month sober and straight. I understand the fear of being straight and the emotions that come up. I have faced it head on and i feel UNREAL. i never thought being straight could be so wonderful. I always believed i would smoke and drink forever.
Give yourself a chance to be straight for a while to feel the real you. Your old life of pot and alcohol would not have gone far if you decide being straight is not for you. I have met some wonderful people in recovery and i am much more sociable now than i ever was before (issolating myself at home with bong in hand).
Goodluck. My struggle has been hard but so worthwhile. I wouldn't have the crap of that stoned drunk life back for anything.
I have been addicted to pot and alcohol for 15 years. This is my first month sober and straight. I understand the fear of being straight and the emotions that come up. I have faced it head on and i feel UNREAL. i never thought being straight could be so wonderful. I always believed i would smoke and drink forever.
Give yourself a chance to be straight for a while to feel the real you. Your old life of pot and alcohol would not have gone far if you decide being straight is not for you. I have met some wonderful people in recovery and i am much more sociable now than i ever was before (issolating myself at home with bong in hand).
Goodluck. My struggle has been hard but so worthwhile. I wouldn't have the crap of that stoned drunk life back for anything.
ff
congrats on day 2. your determination to win this battle is great. are you starting to have any withdrawal symptoms? if so just remember that they are only temporary and will start to fade very soon. be strong. you and your children deserve this.
sg
good to hear you are feeling so good. hope you are enjoying the new life you have given yourself. i am very proud of you. keep up the good work.
congrats on day 2. your determination to win this battle is great. are you starting to have any withdrawal symptoms? if so just remember that they are only temporary and will start to fade very soon. be strong. you and your children deserve this.
sg
good to hear you are feeling so good. hope you are enjoying the new life you have given yourself. i am very proud of you. keep up the good work.
thanks everyone, I succummed to the craving last night and had a tiny one but all it did was give me a head ache and a cloggy throat.
Today my face feels like its falling off my face ( if you get what I mean )
I am cold, shivery, got a head ache, cant remember any ones name , dont feel like I can spell at all , the light out side is too bright, have to wear sun glasses.
People keep saying to me do it gradually but I dont feel like I can , I hate alcohol so much because its caused so much damage in my life its kind of easy to stay away from it at the moment, but I am constantly craving a smoke, yes Ive started smoking more tobacco, but I dont care because I want to be in the real world from now on.
I will try to get through today with out giving in, I have got a few crumbs left and I have been told to throw it away, but Im thinking If I know Ive got a tiny bit I wont panic , but if I throw it away I might go into a panic when Im climbing the walls one time, what do you think ?
Love to all xx
Today my face feels like its falling off my face ( if you get what I mean )
I am cold, shivery, got a head ache, cant remember any ones name , dont feel like I can spell at all , the light out side is too bright, have to wear sun glasses.
People keep saying to me do it gradually but I dont feel like I can , I hate alcohol so much because its caused so much damage in my life its kind of easy to stay away from it at the moment, but I am constantly craving a smoke, yes Ive started smoking more tobacco, but I dont care because I want to be in the real world from now on.
I will try to get through today with out giving in, I have got a few crumbs left and I have been told to throw it away, but Im thinking If I know Ive got a tiny bit I wont panic , but if I throw it away I might go into a panic when Im climbing the walls one time, what do you think ?
Love to all xx
FF, I just threw away a little more than an eighth. No regrets.
Sit for a moment in silence, the answer will come to you like it did for me. Whatever you decide, we're here for you.
Sit for a moment in silence, the answer will come to you like it did for me. Whatever you decide, we're here for you.
