Hi
I am new here, but have been reading this forum for a while. Its great to read other peoples experiences and be encouraged by their successes. I am the partner of someone on heroin. He went to prison a couple of years ago and went cold turkey, came out and stayed off it for a while, but then childhood pain and abuse started to surface and he went back on, only a small amount, just enough to take the edge off. The reason I am so desperate at the moment is that we had a stupid argument and he just left. I have spoken to a good friend who is an ex-addict who said that addicts will sometimes do this, especially when under alot of emotional pressure, just go and get a fix and stay away for some time, because the guilt of what they have done once the fix has worn off makes them stay away. Is this the case? He didnt take his phone, I am beside myself with worry, I just need to know that this is fairly normal behaviour (I am told it is) apparently he has done this before when he was very heavily into it, but since he came out of jail and we have been together, he hasnt (although thats only been 6 months but we have known each other for about 20 years.) I could see things start to really get on top of him and he is not the strongest person in the world anyway. If I could just know that this is fairly normal, it might give me some hope that he will come back.
Thankyou for listening.
..Asnadrya..
..Welcome..the thing about addicts is..they use all different excuses to go and use..theres nuffin really normal about addictive behaviour..it is wot it is..maybe your man wanted a fix and used the excuse of your argument to go and sort himself out some brown..but the urge to use is so powerful that nuffin will stop an active addict from using..its only when they have had their fix that hey are sorry or feeling guilt..maybe he just needs a bit of space aswell for himself..the thing about addicts aswell is they get so wound up over anything cos of their urge to use..that they just need some time alone for wotever reason..i hope this has helped a bit..im Robbie btw..an addict in recovery..i hope he turns up and ya get wotever you fell out over sorted..
..Welcome..the thing about addicts is..they use all different excuses to go and use..theres nuffin really normal about addictive behaviour..it is wot it is..maybe your man wanted a fix and used the excuse of your argument to go and sort himself out some brown..but the urge to use is so powerful that nuffin will stop an active addict from using..its only when they have had their fix that hey are sorry or feeling guilt..maybe he just needs a bit of space aswell for himself..the thing about addicts aswell is they get so wound up over anything cos of their urge to use..that they just need some time alone for wotever reason..i hope this has helped a bit..im Robbie btw..an addict in recovery..i hope he turns up and ya get wotever you fell out over sorted..
Robbie - thankyou :)
Chelsea fan?? :)
I know there is nothing normal about it, its a weird world for me cos its one I have never been involved in, but I am learning, and fast! He has not gone off before while we have been together, well, not overnight any time, but this will be my third night without him tonight and I cant get my head around it. But he has gone off for some time when he was doing the stuff big time. I know its up to him to change and stop and nothing I can say or do will make a difference, but I am going out of my mind here! I guess thats what comes from loving a heroin addict....
:(
Chelsea fan?? :)
I know there is nothing normal about it, its a weird world for me cos its one I have never been involved in, but I am learning, and fast! He has not gone off before while we have been together, well, not overnight any time, but this will be my third night without him tonight and I cant get my head around it. But he has gone off for some time when he was doing the stuff big time. I know its up to him to change and stop and nothing I can say or do will make a difference, but I am going out of my mind here! I guess thats what comes from loving a heroin addict....
:(
..Asnadrya..
..Not a prob..well thats the thing about being in love..ya gotta take the baggage that comes with it if you decide to stick around in it..i understand ya feelings of not knowing where he is or wot hes up to..and of course theres the lonliness ya feel while ya there driving yaself mad..your right about only he can get off it if he desires..but your support and understanding of his situation is all you can really offer him..Asnadrya..this may not help..but when im feeling low or stressed..i put a bit of music on to mellow out to..just a thought ?..anyway..try not drive yaself to mad over it..but easier said than done huh ?..
..ps..yeps..a chelsea man..are you in england..if you are..wots the bet your arsenal or man utd ? :-P..Robbie..
..Not a prob..well thats the thing about being in love..ya gotta take the baggage that comes with it if you decide to stick around in it..i understand ya feelings of not knowing where he is or wot hes up to..and of course theres the lonliness ya feel while ya there driving yaself mad..your right about only he can get off it if he desires..but your support and understanding of his situation is all you can really offer him..Asnadrya..this may not help..but when im feeling low or stressed..i put a bit of music on to mellow out to..just a thought ?..anyway..try not drive yaself to mad over it..but easier said than done huh ?..
..ps..yeps..a chelsea man..are you in england..if you are..wots the bet your arsenal or man utd ? :-P..Robbie..
A,
In addiction to the ever so wise Robbie.....ALWAYS know first and formost that his addiction is not your burden to bare. There is so much to wrap your head around when involved with an addict and as each day grows there is potintial of losing part of yourself on a daily basis. Ask yourself...is this something that I REALLY am willing to take on?.....is this a continuing cycle?....am I worth this pain and the pain I have yet possibly to feel? Those are just a few questions to consider because there is ALOT involved in standing by an addict. Set boundaries......turn your desparation into education and learn all you can and most importantly stay true to yourself and ALWAYS know that you have choices. All the best!
In addiction to the ever so wise Robbie.....ALWAYS know first and formost that his addiction is not your burden to bare. There is so much to wrap your head around when involved with an addict and as each day grows there is potintial of losing part of yourself on a daily basis. Ask yourself...is this something that I REALLY am willing to take on?.....is this a continuing cycle?....am I worth this pain and the pain I have yet possibly to feel? Those are just a few questions to consider because there is ALOT involved in standing by an addict. Set boundaries......turn your desparation into education and learn all you can and most importantly stay true to yourself and ALWAYS know that you have choices. All the best!
Hey A,
Well I can't even add to what those two very wise men have said.
As a chick though it's the same thing. We blame everyone else. YOU MADE ME USE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's NORMAL in the land of US.
Nobody can make him use except him. I hope he came back though. He left the phone on purpose obviously. He'll be back. I hope he is alright too though. Meanwhile you have to care about YOU first.
That sounds cold and harsh I know, and easier said than done, but ya need to work on you and decide when he pops back home what the heck you're going to do.
Diff, said it on another thread. We KNOW that feeling of just letting it all go and unfortunately it's heroin does that. He also knows it will put him back out there.
Well I can't even add to what those two very wise men have said.
As a chick though it's the same thing. We blame everyone else. YOU MADE ME USE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! That's NORMAL in the land of US.
Nobody can make him use except him. I hope he came back though. He left the phone on purpose obviously. He'll be back. I hope he is alright too though. Meanwhile you have to care about YOU first.
That sounds cold and harsh I know, and easier said than done, but ya need to work on you and decide when he pops back home what the heck you're going to do.
Diff, said it on another thread. We KNOW that feeling of just letting it all go and unfortunately it's heroin does that. He also knows it will put him back out there.
Guys, Thankyou for all your posts and words of wisedom :) isnt it weird how a forum can make you feel less alone...? :) I got a call from the police last night to say they have found him, but they said he would come back home last night, well surprisingly he was a no show, but at 4am when I got scared again, I went to his place and he is there. Why wouldnt he want to come home tho? He has nothing there cos he is always here and so is all his stuff...
I do feel he is worth it, cos I can see whats underneath... just a case of waiting around to see if it comes out or not I guess... that sounds awful, but you know what I mean... I am not going to put my life on hold for this, but I cant walk away from him just because things are getting a bit tough for me... I knew he was a drug addict before we got together, its not like he led me on about it.
Robbie... Yep, I am in UK, not really into football... ouch! Is that blasphemy??? :)
I do feel he is worth it, cos I can see whats underneath... just a case of waiting around to see if it comes out or not I guess... that sounds awful, but you know what I mean... I am not going to put my life on hold for this, but I cant walk away from him just because things are getting a bit tough for me... I knew he was a drug addict before we got together, its not like he led me on about it.
Robbie... Yep, I am in UK, not really into football... ouch! Is that blasphemy??? :)
..Asnadrya..
..Haha..yes it is blasphemy for not liking football but your forgiven lol..well at least you know where hes at now..maybe he just wanted time on his own after you argued ?..if you feel you can give yourself time to wait around and find out wot he wants from you regarding your relationship..then see how it pans out..just my opinion..all the best ..Robbie..
..Haha..yes it is blasphemy for not liking football but your forgiven lol..well at least you know where hes at now..maybe he just wanted time on his own after you argued ?..if you feel you can give yourself time to wait around and find out wot he wants from you regarding your relationship..then see how it pans out..just my opinion..all the best ..Robbie..
Awwww, sweetie glad ya at least found him.
I agree with Robbie it could be he just wanted time to himself......bottom line is WE have to live with US when it is all said and done.....you take care of you too though...ya have to.
Ummmmm, I'm USA but I rock my Chelsea jacket and I got the hat of it and the SCARF now.......yeah, boi I do.
You can go over to the families loved ones because them people are and have been in your place.......really cool people over there......I hope ya work it out.
I agree with Robbie it could be he just wanted time to himself......bottom line is WE have to live with US when it is all said and done.....you take care of you too though...ya have to.
Ummmmm, I'm USA but I rock my Chelsea jacket and I got the hat of it and the SCARF now.......yeah, boi I do.
You can go over to the families loved ones because them people are and have been in your place.......really cool people over there......I hope ya work it out.
well, I went and fetched him... he came back no problem, and said that actually all he had wanted was a few hours on his own to sort his head out, but it got so late that he didnt know how to come back, then it went into days and drugs again... so he is gonna try subutex... anything to get him off this stuff and have him back again...
Thanks so much, you dont know what it means to have your support
A
x
Thanks so much, you dont know what it means to have your support
A
x
