I dont understand what is wrong with me? (25-35 norcs a day) been trying to stop for months or at least thinking about it, alot! Obsessing actually. yet every night here I am again, guilt ridden that i did not taper off today like i planned to. i understand that i have myself in a very dangerous situation and i HAVE to do something. I spend hours every single day mapping out, writing down and thinking about how im going to stop this. Yet every single day its back to the same thing. i dont think i've ever been so unhappy in my life. MY first problem is that the mornings are the worst so i always start off with at least four, just to get me out of bed. i have to, i have three small children. then i plan after that dose i'll be up and better and for the rest of the day i will follow my tapering off plan. but every single day, day in and day out. I tell myself tomorrow. I feel soooooo hopeless. i hate myself for doing this to myself. My only choice is to do this on my own and i cant even get started. and believe me my plan is slow and consistant and should definately be do-able. please any advice would be helpful.
nice to hear from you Bridget, I was wondering how you were doing. Was on my way to bed when I saw you posted. Honestly can say this has been my 7th attempt at stopping. 6 w/d's and after each one I said enough, never again. This time has been the most difficult and was just thinking that the more I am convincing myself to quit the more I'm thinking about it. It's weird. It's like when I want to go on a diet and I'm starving by 10:00 am when I hardly ever eat all day anyway???? I actually gain weight when I diet and when I just don't worry about it and eat normally, I go back to my usual weight which is just fine anyway. Wish I could tell you what will work, but just stick around and keep reading and talking. It will help, you'll see and you'll find your answer. It is in you and you will find what works for you. Remember you have three kids that don't deserve to lose their mom and your a Mom who deserves to see her kids grow up. Don't beat yourself up Bridget, you're going to get through it. Hang in and have faith. blessings
Bridget
I know exactly how you feel. I tried to taper down many times. i couldn't. I finally had to give my pills to my wife and she gave them to me. She is the only one that knows I have a problem. I hid it well from my family and friends. For me if i had them I would take them. Do you have someone that can help you like that. Also I tried to quit CT while taking 25 + a day. That didn't work but when i got down to 3 to 4 a day it wasn't nearly as bad.
Frank
I know exactly how you feel. I tried to taper down many times. i couldn't. I finally had to give my pills to my wife and she gave them to me. She is the only one that knows I have a problem. I hid it well from my family and friends. For me if i had them I would take them. Do you have someone that can help you like that. Also I tried to quit CT while taking 25 + a day. That didn't work but when i got down to 3 to 4 a day it wasn't nearly as bad.
Frank
betternow
thank you for that. sometimes it is hard for me to get on this site because no-body knows. and i dont want to be found out. as for the diet thing i know what you mean but how do you try to stop thinkng about something? thats another tuff one.
how are you doing?
thank you for that. sometimes it is hard for me to get on this site because no-body knows. and i dont want to be found out. as for the diet thing i know what you mean but how do you try to stop thinkng about something? thats another tuff one.
how are you doing?
fsguy
no my husband does not know and i'm not even sure if i can give up my control to someone else. i guess thats just another hump i have to get over. again, i'm feeling very hopeless.
no my husband does not know and i'm not even sure if i can give up my control to someone else. i guess thats just another hump i have to get over. again, i'm feeling very hopeless.
fsguy
are you off all the pills now?
are you off all the pills now?
B
My wife found out because I just wasnt the same person she married. She knew something was up. But it took her 7/12 years to figure it out. Its going to be really hard to do this all alone. You need to have someone to help you . Maybe another family member. I know I didn't want my sisters knowing about it. Its hard to admit you have a problem but thats the first step if you really want to stop.
Frank
My wife found out because I just wasnt the same person she married. She knew something was up. But it took her 7/12 years to figure it out. Its going to be really hard to do this all alone. You need to have someone to help you . Maybe another family member. I know I didn't want my sisters knowing about it. Its hard to admit you have a problem but thats the first step if you really want to stop.
Frank
B
Yes. I have been for 2 weeks. The hardest thing I have ever done. It was just time to stop the madness. I always said to myself I will stop next month, after Christmas, After New Years, As soon as I run Out this time. I would always get more. For me I had to cut off all of my supplies. Really You can do it.
Frank
Yes. I have been for 2 weeks. The hardest thing I have ever done. It was just time to stop the madness. I always said to myself I will stop next month, after Christmas, After New Years, As soon as I run Out this time. I would always get more. For me I had to cut off all of my supplies. Really You can do it.
Frank
