Hello everyone, this is my first post on this site. I have been smoking heroin for 7 years and this is the first time I have seriously tried to stop. This is now my 11th day and boy have I went through cold turkey. Last Friday I started taking Lefoxitine and Librium. This made me worse and I ended up in hospital because my heart rate has slowed down so much after three days. I had terrible sickness and back pain and am slowly recovering.
My mother has been posting messages on the board updating my situation and this is my first post.
I'm really terrified of what the future might bring. My worst nightmare is if I took cravings for the "poison" I was taking - I just do not want to live like that again. I want to stay strong and able to deal with this terrible addiction as it is not a life it is only an existence.
Darin and Bryn have been helping me and that means so much to have this support.
To all out there, tomorrow is another day, I never ever thought I would get away from this hell. For my, tomorrow is another day clean and that means the world to me. I just can't believe I have come this far, I never thought it would be possible.
Yvonne,
I am so glad you made it here. Everyone here has been in your shoes and felt that ugliness. Look how far you have come and think how much more is possible. I am giving you a great big cyber hug cuz it takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing. Good job. Glad you are here friend.
Jane
I am so glad you made it here. Everyone here has been in your shoes and felt that ugliness. Look how far you have come and think how much more is possible. I am giving you a great big cyber hug cuz it takes a lot of courage to do what you are doing. Good job. Glad you are here friend.
Jane
..Yvonne..
..it auin,t been an easy ride for ya..but w/ds never are..but to be hnest with ya..the hadest part of detoxing from heroin is staying off once ya been thru the w/ds..as much of a cliche as this is..you can only take it one day at a time..people say thats all rehab/therapy talk..but its true wotever way people see it..you can,t make plabns for the future cos ya don,t know wots round the next corner..be proud of yaself that you,ve come this far..but once we get ourselves an addiction..we,re addicts for life,using or not..i,ve been reading wot ya mum was saying..and as i said..ya did,nt have it easy..d,ya think you can learn from wot ya went thru and keep it as a valuable experience to remember wot you,ll go thru if ya pick up a bag of gear again.?..i wish ya good luck in your recovery..aqnytime ya feel low or need to vent or just want a chat..you should come on here cos this site as gone a long way in helping me stay clean..and i,ve also made good friends from here who i talk to daily..good luck yvonne..stay strong..Robbie..
..it auin,t been an easy ride for ya..but w/ds never are..but to be hnest with ya..the hadest part of detoxing from heroin is staying off once ya been thru the w/ds..as much of a cliche as this is..you can only take it one day at a time..people say thats all rehab/therapy talk..but its true wotever way people see it..you can,t make plabns for the future cos ya don,t know wots round the next corner..be proud of yaself that you,ve come this far..but once we get ourselves an addiction..we,re addicts for life,using or not..i,ve been reading wot ya mum was saying..and as i said..ya did,nt have it easy..d,ya think you can learn from wot ya went thru and keep it as a valuable experience to remember wot you,ll go thru if ya pick up a bag of gear again.?..i wish ya good luck in your recovery..aqnytime ya feel low or need to vent or just want a chat..you should come on here cos this site as gone a long way in helping me stay clean..and i,ve also made good friends from here who i talk to daily..good luck yvonne..stay strong..Robbie..
Dear Yvonne,
Glad to have you join us! I wish you well in your recovery and will be praying for you. My son was addicted to heroin and now has 14 1/2 months heroin free. Listen to Darin and Brynn. They're the BEST!
God bless!
Susan
Glad to have you join us! I wish you well in your recovery and will be praying for you. My son was addicted to heroin and now has 14 1/2 months heroin free. Listen to Darin and Brynn. They're the BEST!
God bless!
Susan
Thanks for your kind words robbie it means a lot this is the first time ive done withdrawls and god the past few weeks have been a total nightmare for me, i was rushed into hospital for 2 nights cause my heart nearly stopped.The pains in my back are so sore and the insomnia is terrible my body is totally drained but my head is all over the place it is something i will never forget. Most people have told me getting clean is the easy bit its staying off it is the hard bit im terrified really scared cause i never want to be near the poison again, I need too take it one day at a time and i just know if i go near it again ill have to go through this again. From the bottom of my heart all i want is to be normal and im 2 weeks clean tomorrow i thought it was impossible but ive done it. My nerves are shattered and i dont have any confidence but i keep telling myself it must get better it cant get any worse. It was my mum who found this site and im getting a lot of strenght from this so thank you. Yvonne
..yvonne..
..I know its scary not knowing wots in front of ya..just take ya time..theres no rush to get anywhere..try not to put to much pressure on yaself..you can only live the day as the day is long..i would say you should lose ya using mates thou yvonne..get rid of the phone numbers that you can,t remember..and the ones that are planted in ya head..try to blot them out if ya can..your using mates will probably be calling ya..to get sum brown with them..go halfs..maybe even ask ya to get them sum for them..as hard as it might be for ya to say no..your gonna have to be strong and tell em..your off the gear..no chance.!!..if they are good mates..they won,t come knocking..but you know the power of heroin..people will stop at nuffin to get it..and they don,t give a f*** who gets hurt or drawn back into it..just as long they get sorted,,f*** everyone else is the way they see it..if ya feelin bored or gtting the urge to use..come on here and have a chat for a couple of ous or sumfin..even reading other addicts stories kept me occupied and stopped me from going out to score..but at the end of the day..your the only one who can control weather you use again or not..no matter how much family and friends/ex users try to support ya and help ya to stay off it..your get cravings,,no doubt you will..but try and look on the positive side of wot it will do to you if ya do pick up again..you,ve lived thru probably the worst nightmare you could imagine that would happen to ya..you only have to look back on wot it done to you and your families life to realise it tears all your worlds apart..stay positive in yaself yvonne and you,ll be ok..although it takes hard work and willpower to stay clean..it does get a little easier as the days/weeks/months go by..peace to ya,ll..Robbie..
..I know its scary not knowing wots in front of ya..just take ya time..theres no rush to get anywhere..try not to put to much pressure on yaself..you can only live the day as the day is long..i would say you should lose ya using mates thou yvonne..get rid of the phone numbers that you can,t remember..and the ones that are planted in ya head..try to blot them out if ya can..your using mates will probably be calling ya..to get sum brown with them..go halfs..maybe even ask ya to get them sum for them..as hard as it might be for ya to say no..your gonna have to be strong and tell em..your off the gear..no chance.!!..if they are good mates..they won,t come knocking..but you know the power of heroin..people will stop at nuffin to get it..and they don,t give a f*** who gets hurt or drawn back into it..just as long they get sorted,,f*** everyone else is the way they see it..if ya feelin bored or gtting the urge to use..come on here and have a chat for a couple of ous or sumfin..even reading other addicts stories kept me occupied and stopped me from going out to score..but at the end of the day..your the only one who can control weather you use again or not..no matter how much family and friends/ex users try to support ya and help ya to stay off it..your get cravings,,no doubt you will..but try and look on the positive side of wot it will do to you if ya do pick up again..you,ve lived thru probably the worst nightmare you could imagine that would happen to ya..you only have to look back on wot it done to you and your families life to realise it tears all your worlds apart..stay positive in yaself yvonne and you,ll be ok..although it takes hard work and willpower to stay clean..it does get a little easier as the days/weeks/months go by..peace to ya,ll..Robbie..
Yvonne,
Look at it like this.....it may be hard after the drugs but it will be certainly better without them. Dont let tomorrow scare you....let it make you a better person. You NEVER have to live that way again....why.....cause you hold the power of choice and today you choose to take your life back! This first month or 2 will be hard but as time grows....so do you....just ask Robbie, Bryn, BruceB, and a host of others here who at some point have shared your pain. Fair and all those negative thoughts and feelings come with this process....and so does freedom, clarity, and peace of mind. You have made a big step today by coming hear to fellowship with people who understand and are most willing to share in there experiences. All the best !
Darin
Look at it like this.....it may be hard after the drugs but it will be certainly better without them. Dont let tomorrow scare you....let it make you a better person. You NEVER have to live that way again....why.....cause you hold the power of choice and today you choose to take your life back! This first month or 2 will be hard but as time grows....so do you....just ask Robbie, Bryn, BruceB, and a host of others here who at some point have shared your pain. Fair and all those negative thoughts and feelings come with this process....and so does freedom, clarity, and peace of mind. You have made a big step today by coming hear to fellowship with people who understand and are most willing to share in there experiences. All the best !
Darin
Yvonne, you are in capable hands here...listen to everyone...I think I was the first to welcome Robbie, and he is a miracle...listen to what he is saying about your using buddies, they will be so happy to drag you back to their level...you need to pray that God lead your life by his will, not yours...your will leads back down into the despair of using....if you get a craving, come on here and post, people will be glad to help....I have reached out myself many times. I posted on the family thread, but wanted to add to this thread here.
God Bless You!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I also want to share this meditation with you:
Some days, every aspect of my life seems overwhelming and crazy, and I feel so confused.
On these days, I need to remember that I only have to do what needs to be done today. I do not have to worry about next week, next month, or next year only what needs to be done today. I can make a list of things to do.
When I finish something on my list, I can cross it off and feel proud of what I've accomplished, even it it's as simple as doing the dishes or making a phone call. When I accomplish something, I can be proud of myself.
God Bless You!
{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUGS}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I also want to share this meditation with you:
Some days, every aspect of my life seems overwhelming and crazy, and I feel so confused.
On these days, I need to remember that I only have to do what needs to be done today. I do not have to worry about next week, next month, or next year only what needs to be done today. I can make a list of things to do.
When I finish something on my list, I can cross it off and feel proud of what I've accomplished, even it it's as simple as doing the dishes or making a phone call. When I accomplish something, I can be proud of myself.
bumpsnomore's meditation has said it all.........one day at a time.and often one minute at a time........
u r doing great.u r here looking for help and there r so many great ppl on this board to help you.hang in there and God bless you..he will carry you in your hardest times
u r doing great.u r here looking for help and there r so many great ppl on this board to help you.hang in there and God bless you..he will carry you in your hardest times
yvonne,
welcome back to the land of the living! i am very proud of you for going this rout and sticking with it! it is a hard road to travel but you are well on your way.it took me a good month and a half before i felt really normal again.but you can take your pain and turn it into something constructive.every morning when you wake up remember the pain and thank God that you dont have to go through that again then ask for another day clean.it works for me and keep posting here.there are so many good people on this site they help to keep me strong,along with my na meetings.i really suggest you try some na meetings you will probably enjoy going because you sound like you really want to recover.each day will get a little better.just remember you are a recovering addict and you cant pick up again because one is too many and a thousand is never enough!also remember this disease is trying to kill us all at all times,it will sneak up on us if we are not constantly watching out for it.stay strong (i know you can!)
sincerly,
welcome back to the land of the living! i am very proud of you for going this rout and sticking with it! it is a hard road to travel but you are well on your way.it took me a good month and a half before i felt really normal again.but you can take your pain and turn it into something constructive.every morning when you wake up remember the pain and thank God that you dont have to go through that again then ask for another day clean.it works for me and keep posting here.there are so many good people on this site they help to keep me strong,along with my na meetings.i really suggest you try some na meetings you will probably enjoy going because you sound like you really want to recover.each day will get a little better.just remember you are a recovering addict and you cant pick up again because one is too many and a thousand is never enough!also remember this disease is trying to kill us all at all times,it will sneak up on us if we are not constantly watching out for it.stay strong (i know you can!)
sincerly,
Yvonne,
Hope you are having a better day today....from here on out it does get better!
Darin
Hope you are having a better day today....from here on out it does get better!
Darin
I know I had TERRIBLE back pain gettin off Methadone & literally had to walk it off, took me about a year, no kidding.But that is Done, which gets in deep, muscularly, & I know dope is nowhere near as bad. I find if I know what exactly my body is doing it helps me to fight it- Dope goes into your brain/spinal column, I have heard/read- affects nerves, etc. there. When you stop, it has to re-connect the nerves & that is the painful part. Exercise, just walking,can help, a lot.I also know dope paralyses the long gut muscle responsible for daily bowel movements-thus the constipation when you use. The severe gut pain is that muscle waking up & trying to flex, function again. I have experienced pain like a butcher knife in my stomach;nothing you can do but sit on the toilet & ride it out, so to speak (not to offend your sensibilities any).It will go away/stabilise itself.Yr. adrenaline is surging thruout yr body, in panic mode, w/ no dope in yr system. Thus the racing mind, exhaustion, insomnia. This may sound impossible but try to start eating, good healthy food, even just a bit, @ first, ASAP.Try not to give in to the sugar cravings as sugar just spurs yre adrenaline more. ORANGE JUICE, awful as anything may sound, is really good.I posted a bunch of stuff a while back about Feeding Your Head you may want to look @; I found eating right helped me SO MUCH, even tho you may have no appetite at all YOU WILL, & there is some interesting stuff Ive found out.Good luck Kid! Keep posting!! Welcome aboard!!
Hi everyone well im on day 15 and feeling a bit anxious today but im coping.(mind over matter) and thats what im doing positive thinking. Today is the first day since i started detoxing ive been on my own as my mum and brother had to go back to their jobs and have been with me 24/7 over the past 15 days, ive tried to read some magazines but i cant be bothered as im finding that i cant concentrate properly. It was my mum that found this site and ive only been talking on here for a few days now and its giving me so much strenght with everyones kind thoughts and wise words thanks so much to everyone x. Its such a buzz knowing ive no dope in my system and im not needing to use the phone, run about sneak about getting drugs to help me function. I sat this morning and got my mobile out and deleted everyones name and numbers that i know who are taking or can get me drugs so called pals too. I could not have done that a fortnight ago as the phone was my life line for drugs that made me feel good i was strong enough to do it, i know its not going to be that easy as i cant even think about stepping outside the door yet but its another positive step for me. Sorry if i sound to be going on a bit its just a felt a little panicky before i started this message and now im feeling better cause ive had to concentrate and ive been able to take my mind off other things. I will come back on to the site later. Thanks for listening. Yvonne
..Yvonne..
..I find that music helps me relax if im feelin a bit stresed/anxious about stuff..
..take a nice hot bath,,sling sum bath salts or bubbles in a put the radio on,,
your doing so well..and you,ve done the right thing in getting rid of your drug numbers..stay strong in yourself yvonne and you,ll get thru it if you believe and have faith in yourself..good luck..Robbie..
..I find that music helps me relax if im feelin a bit stresed/anxious about stuff..
..take a nice hot bath,,sling sum bath salts or bubbles in a put the radio on,,
your doing so well..and you,ve done the right thing in getting rid of your drug numbers..stay strong in yourself yvonne and you,ll get thru it if you believe and have faith in yourself..good luck..Robbie..
yvonne,
you are really taking the right steps! glad to see you are doing so well.being sobor and having your mind and life back can be a high all of its own.but it will take work.the next step would be to find an NA meeting.try going to one you will find a power there that is so great and will help you allong the way! this site does wanders also. i spend 2-4 hours a day here and hit 6-7 meetings a week.it keeps me clean and feeling good.congratulations on your hard work and keep it up!
you are really taking the right steps! glad to see you are doing so well.being sobor and having your mind and life back can be a high all of its own.but it will take work.the next step would be to find an NA meeting.try going to one you will find a power there that is so great and will help you allong the way! this site does wanders also. i spend 2-4 hours a day here and hit 6-7 meetings a week.it keeps me clean and feeling good.congratulations on your hard work and keep it up!
