Hello everyone. I haven't visited this site since last year when I truly believed things were under control. I am the mother of a 30 year old heroin addict. Last November my husband and I made the decision to invest a large amount of money to get our daughter into a long term rehab facility across the country from us. She promised she was ready to turn her life around and we believed her. I say "invest" because we thought we were investing in her future as we had with college. Without going into the long story of lies, deceit, and heartbreak, I'll just say that our daughter is in jail for heroin use and probation violation. I know it was overly optimistic to believe that rehab was the salvation and would last forever, but apparently our money only bought 3 weeks sobriety once she got back home. We are devastated! We did not hire a lawyer for her and have not put money on an account so she can call us. We have told her that we love her, but are through bailing her out. We have learned that much at least. Is there any hope at all? Or is this all there will ever be for our daughter? Do we just assume we have lost her forever to the worlds of heroin and incarceration?
never give up hope - your daughter needs to want to recover for herself, not for you or anyone else- she has to do it for her-she has to want it for her- she has to want to get clean far more than she wants to get high- then she will be ready- everyone's journey is different - remember you are not alone, there are many people facing the same dilemma tonight - keep posting here for support -wish you the best of luck- i hope and pray your daughter finds her way into recovery soon and you get some peace back in your life -
Dear Insanity,
It sounds like you have learned a lot about addiction, and how to best handle it when a loved one relapses. The decision on whether the addict choses recovery rests solely with the addict. There is nothing you can do on this point. It sounds like you realize this.
You are correct: Treatment is only a small brick in a foundation of recovery. Initial success rates are sadly real low. If the addict wants sobriety, they will learn to "keep coming back" and continue to strive.
The stopping of enabling behavior, on your part, is important. This helps place the responsibility of addiction where it should be - on the addict. It sounds like you understand this too which I commend you for.
Have you considered joining a support group? I predict you'll be amazed at how much better you handle life when you are surrounded by other people who have addicts in their lives. Some examples are Al Anon and NAR Anon. If you are a faith-based person, many churches offer support groups.
And, there are real good people on this message board.
Good luck and best wishes, Flyboy
It sounds like you have learned a lot about addiction, and how to best handle it when a loved one relapses. The decision on whether the addict choses recovery rests solely with the addict. There is nothing you can do on this point. It sounds like you realize this.
You are correct: Treatment is only a small brick in a foundation of recovery. Initial success rates are sadly real low. If the addict wants sobriety, they will learn to "keep coming back" and continue to strive.
The stopping of enabling behavior, on your part, is important. This helps place the responsibility of addiction where it should be - on the addict. It sounds like you understand this too which I commend you for.
Have you considered joining a support group? I predict you'll be amazed at how much better you handle life when you are surrounded by other people who have addicts in their lives. Some examples are Al Anon and NAR Anon. If you are a faith-based person, many churches offer support groups.
And, there are real good people on this message board.
Good luck and best wishes, Flyboy
