Hi, I have not been on here lately but my now 18year old daughter just got out of long term rehab (4 months) She is already using. I told her when she got out I would help her start school, I gave her a car, helped her find a job BLA BLA BLA
I did all of that and more. but I also told her if she used again she would have to leave the house., so last night she left. I feel like I am dying am I pushing her into that life? Did I do the right thing. Any advice would comfort me Thanks
Aiime,
Your a parent you do what you have to.
Her addiction is not your responsibility it's hers, it's not your fault.
Please understand that.
Remember, if you do nothing for a child they will turn out bad, if you do everything for a child, they will turn out bad.
OKAY?
p.s. post any news you here from her.
MACK
Your a parent you do what you have to.
Her addiction is not your responsibility it's hers, it's not your fault.
Please understand that.
Remember, if you do nothing for a child they will turn out bad, if you do everything for a child, they will turn out bad.
OKAY?
p.s. post any news you here from her.
MACK
Hi,
Read forum methamphetamines-violant/abusive-reply by suefox83
hope it helps
MACK (BIG HUG)
Read forum methamphetamines-violant/abusive-reply by suefox83
hope it helps
MACK (BIG HUG)
My foster dad kicked me out of home several times during my using days. I have never forgiven him for it. Every time he kicked me out, my habbit got worse, I'd get arrested and I would meet the scum of the earth from hanging out in weird places at odd times. It felt like the whole world was against me, even my foster dad. My 55 y.old best friend has a 23 y.old son who's been an on-again-off-again heroin addict for 5 years and she never kicked him out of home, and their relationship is fantastic. He knows his mum will stand by him through anything.
On the other hand, I have another friend with a 12 year habbit, and her dad gives her $200 - $300 a week (Australian) for 12 years in the hope that it will stop her becoming a prostitute. Well, she's never been a working girl - but why would she when her dad is giving her money every week?
When all of this crap is all over, do you want your daughter to remember that her mum stood by her through the worst period in her life, or kicked her out when it all got too much?
If I ever went through this with my own children, I would NEVER kick them out of home - no matter what they did.
On the other hand, I have another friend with a 12 year habbit, and her dad gives her $200 - $300 a week (Australian) for 12 years in the hope that it will stop her becoming a prostitute. Well, she's never been a working girl - but why would she when her dad is giving her money every week?
When all of this crap is all over, do you want your daughter to remember that her mum stood by her through the worst period in her life, or kicked her out when it all got too much?
If I ever went through this with my own children, I would NEVER kick them out of home - no matter what they did.
I believe you did the right thing. She knows that you will help her if she decides to detox again. Standing by your children is a good thing, but sometimes you have to make the hard decisions. You stood by her during her rehab and you would do that again.
Aiime -
Are you familiar with the 3 "C's?"
I didn't cause it
I can't control it
I can't cure it
As parents there is nothing we can do except tell them the truth and express ourselves when their behavior affects us. Asking questions is not expressing ourselves. What our children do is not our responsibility. If your daughter is using you are not talking to your daughter. You are talking to the drug. We usually go crazy because we forgot who we were talking to.
When we allow the addict to experience the consequences of their behavior, that is the most loving thing we can do for them. When we rescue or enable them, we contribute to their addiction and we stay sick.
When playing a musical intrument we have to hit the wrong notes before we hit the right ones. We learn from our mistakes. When I make a mistake in enabling the addict, hopefully I will learn from it. Trust your intuition.
By the way, I am a recovered heroin addict and have been on both sides of this thing. When others stopped enabling me and allowed me to experience the consequences of my behavior, I entered recovery.
Have you considered Alanon? I found it immensely helpful in dealing with my crystal meth addicted son and my alcoholic wife. Know that you are not alone. Help is here. Hang in there and keep us posted on how it's going.
With support,
Paul
Are you familiar with the 3 "C's?"
I didn't cause it
I can't control it
I can't cure it
As parents there is nothing we can do except tell them the truth and express ourselves when their behavior affects us. Asking questions is not expressing ourselves. What our children do is not our responsibility. If your daughter is using you are not talking to your daughter. You are talking to the drug. We usually go crazy because we forgot who we were talking to.
When we allow the addict to experience the consequences of their behavior, that is the most loving thing we can do for them. When we rescue or enable them, we contribute to their addiction and we stay sick.
When playing a musical intrument we have to hit the wrong notes before we hit the right ones. We learn from our mistakes. When I make a mistake in enabling the addict, hopefully I will learn from it. Trust your intuition.
By the way, I am a recovered heroin addict and have been on both sides of this thing. When others stopped enabling me and allowed me to experience the consequences of my behavior, I entered recovery.
Have you considered Alanon? I found it immensely helpful in dealing with my crystal meth addicted son and my alcoholic wife. Know that you are not alone. Help is here. Hang in there and keep us posted on how it's going.
With support,
Paul
Paul, so well said.
I would like to endorse Al Anon and Nar Anon which I attend as my father is a sober alcoholic and my wife a clean/sober alcoholic and addict.
I have found tremendous strength and fellowship through both organisations.
I would like to endorse Al Anon and Nar Anon which I attend as my father is a sober alcoholic and my wife a clean/sober alcoholic and addict.
I have found tremendous strength and fellowship through both organisations.
Thank you everyone for your replies I have been going through this for 5years now (13 when she started) I have been there for her for everything detox at home, not the best idea, rehabs, stealing from me, stealing from her 10 year old sister, and the worst is knowing she is desperate and she will do anything for this drug. She is a great person when shes not using(90 days has been the longest) I hope she beats this and I will be there when she falls. Thank YOU
and god bless everyone you have no idea how you all help me.
and god bless everyone you have no idea how you all help me.
has she considered subs or methadone? maybe it will help her.