I just want 2 say that i didnt know my bf had written here till this morning and it was a nice surprise perhaps he will continue to post.He hasnt really took much notice of the site,ive told him about it but im pleased hes made the effort to look at the site and even post,thanks 2 those who replied to him :o)
How is he doing today Sophie??? And how are you doing???
Going-nuts
hes at work so i wont c him till later he owes me money i just hope he gives it to me,im fine just a little anxious about getting the money,hope he sticks to what he says but its going to be hard for him as 2day is pay day,we are going out together 2morro night so that shoud be fun.Just have to see how it goes
hes at work so i wont c him till later he owes me money i just hope he gives it to me,im fine just a little anxious about getting the money,hope he sticks to what he says but its going to be hard for him as 2day is pay day,we are going out together 2morro night so that shoud be fun.Just have to see how it goes
How is he doing Sophie?
Please keep us posted.
Thx
Dr.Jekell.
Please keep us posted.
Thx
Dr.Jekell.
Hi dr Jekell
Im fine looking forward to going out 2nite and letting my hair down,unfortunatly hes done some today i knew he wouldnt beable 2 go without,actually things are getting a little worse now i know hes does it if u know wot i mean,but there is still a chance he will change
Im fine looking forward to going out 2nite and letting my hair down,unfortunatly hes done some today i knew he wouldnt beable 2 go without,actually things are getting a little worse now i know hes does it if u know wot i mean,but there is still a chance he will change
Sophie,
I wonder, how long are you going to keep torturing yourself?
He clearly does not care about your feelings. An addict is an egocentric creature and his words of affection are only used to manipulate.
You are playing the role of the perfect little co-dependant.
Now, stop kidding yourself and get on with your life.
I wonder, how long are you going to keep torturing yourself?
He clearly does not care about your feelings. An addict is an egocentric creature and his words of affection are only used to manipulate.
You are playing the role of the perfect little co-dependant.
Now, stop kidding yourself and get on with your life.
sophie i was just wondering how old you are, and how long have you been with your boyfriend?
It seems like your b/f is not ready or rather dosen't want to stop.Addicts when confronted with the realization that they MUST quit seem to procrastinate this major steping stone by saying '' Before I quit just 1 more hit,and another,and another.........'' The cycle of addiction will never end this way !!!
Example..
Several months ago I went to New Brunswick from Toronto to detox throughout the voyage I was high for 1,300 km or 12 hours of driving. During this period I realized that I was going to NB for my wife not for myself!! It was an excuse to have the freedom to get high. I knew then I wasn't ready, although I spent one month there it ovbivously didn't help.
I kept telling myself '' I'll do it soon, on my own terms and conditions, when I'm ready.'' But that's an excuse that every user says when there not ready.
It seems that perhaps your b/f is confussing your forgiveness for weakness.
Lay down the terms and don't be afraid to excute them if needed. Stand by him with '' CONDITIONAL TOUGH LOVE '' only if you believe that he may brake out of the cycle someday soon.
During this period get him into a NA meetings, spend as much time as possible with him. Try letting him open up to you and share his thoughts.And don't be affraid to voyage into the dark realm of addiction when he is honestly ready to quit.
But proceed with caution !
Because as tough love said '' An addict is an egocentric creature and his words of affection are only used to manipulate.''
If he chooses so.
God Bless...
Example..
Several months ago I went to New Brunswick from Toronto to detox throughout the voyage I was high for 1,300 km or 12 hours of driving. During this period I realized that I was going to NB for my wife not for myself!! It was an excuse to have the freedom to get high. I knew then I wasn't ready, although I spent one month there it ovbivously didn't help.
I kept telling myself '' I'll do it soon, on my own terms and conditions, when I'm ready.'' But that's an excuse that every user says when there not ready.
It seems that perhaps your b/f is confussing your forgiveness for weakness.
Lay down the terms and don't be afraid to excute them if needed. Stand by him with '' CONDITIONAL TOUGH LOVE '' only if you believe that he may brake out of the cycle someday soon.
During this period get him into a NA meetings, spend as much time as possible with him. Try letting him open up to you and share his thoughts.And don't be affraid to voyage into the dark realm of addiction when he is honestly ready to quit.
But proceed with caution !
Because as tough love said '' An addict is an egocentric creature and his words of affection are only used to manipulate.''
If he chooses so.
God Bless...
sophie this is Jake from london, i think we have exchanged emails, i have done charlie for 8 years and had a heart attacxk 3 mnths ago and i am now clean. Its really quite clear to me that he should see his doc, has he? plesae get back to me on this issue as the link between heart falure and coke is huge and he apperas to be at high risk, a key worker wont identify this.you say he is using the site, what is his name?
jake
jake
Danielsmomma
Im 29 and we have been together 6 years
Jake,tough love +Dr jekell
What u all said is true,hes not ready to quit yet things have got worse now its out in the open so to speak.He spent the money he had to go out on crack then lied hed left it at home to get some more.I cant go on like this,i dont know what to do i think his addiction is getting worse hes certainly doing crack more.He has said a thousand times one last stone thats it,i will go without u'll see,but never does!The thing is he hasnt really tried,im thinking of saying to him to stay away from us till hes clean or made an effort to,but it will hard cos of hes daughter.I think we need to sit down and have a proper chat but it nearly always ends in rows
Im 29 and we have been together 6 years
Jake,tough love +Dr jekell
What u all said is true,hes not ready to quit yet things have got worse now its out in the open so to speak.He spent the money he had to go out on crack then lied hed left it at home to get some more.I cant go on like this,i dont know what to do i think his addiction is getting worse hes certainly doing crack more.He has said a thousand times one last stone thats it,i will go without u'll see,but never does!The thing is he hasnt really tried,im thinking of saying to him to stay away from us till hes clean or made an effort to,but it will hard cos of hes daughter.I think we need to sit down and have a proper chat but it nearly always ends in rows
The next time he tells you for the one thousand time '' One last stone thats it,i will go without u'll see (8)''
Tell him '' One is to much and a thousand is never enough ''
My opion is have a serious sit down with him and lay down the rules !!
Or better yet re-read the posts the answears are all there !.
Good luck.
Tell him '' One is to much and a thousand is never enough ''
My opion is have a serious sit down with him and lay down the rules !!
Or better yet re-read the posts the answears are all there !.
Good luck.
crack is runing both yours and your dauhters lives ur B/F is the user the one who is to blame fior his behavioir. if he loves and respects both you, daughter and indeed himslef he should quit, tyhough i know thats not easy, (has he seen doc yet?) you have to think of yourself and ur daughter , his life will go on and he needs to sort it quick, have you tried family couselling? ;look sophie it appears to be geeting worse rather than better, may be its time for you to be stronger for yourself and daughter
AJSD.
what is AJSD
".I think we need to sit down and have a proper chat "
I am sorry but you you have tried this and you know it's not going anywhere.
Sophie, you are addicted to your boyfriend. You need to quit. NOW!!
Get yourself to a Co-Anon, Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting. Or, I believe this is your case, get yourself to a Emotional Dependant Anonymous meeting.
You are hurting yourself with your boyfriend as much as he is hurting himself with crack.
I am sorry but you you have tried this and you know it's not going anywhere.
Sophie, you are addicted to your boyfriend. You need to quit. NOW!!
Get yourself to a Co-Anon, Nar-Anon or Al-Anon meeting. Or, I believe this is your case, get yourself to a Emotional Dependant Anonymous meeting.
You are hurting yourself with your boyfriend as much as he is hurting himself with crack.
Sorry tough love but we havent really had a proper talk about things.Its been spoke about obviously but not in the way it should.hes having to go without today because he has no money so thats a good thing.I could wlk away from this but i dont 100% want to i know he will quit,he just needs to see his key worker which hes doing tomorrow and start occupying his mind which hes doing today by painting some doors.We will do it
Do you actually think that '' having to go without today because he has no money (3) ''.Is a good thing ?
'' Or that seeing his keyworker (5) '',is the key to your problems?
Im sorry Sophie but your seriously delusional. The best advice I can give you is to re-read our advice.
I rest.
'' Or that seeing his keyworker (5) '',is the key to your problems?
Im sorry Sophie but your seriously delusional. The best advice I can give you is to re-read our advice.
I rest.
Well its a start isnt it,every one has to start somewhere.Where did u start then?I dont write on here to be insulted im doing the best i can in the situation im in i want advice on how to see this through weather i decide to stay or leave my bf not be insulted thankyou very much.Perhapsyour partner/family are delouisional too for sticking by you!
Now, now, let's focus on what's important instead of delusional name-calling.
Sophie, I think what Dr. Jeckel/Hyde was trying to say is that if you think just having him talk to someone and occupying his mind with something else is enough to make him stop, you're probably kidding yourself. If it was that easy, this forum (and many, many other crack/cocaine recovery support groups) wouldn't exist. He will probably need a considerable amount of rehabilitation to beat this and perhaps you have underestimated what he and you are up against. I might postpone the optimism until after he decides to get REAL with his recovery.
As they say -- you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
Sophie, I think what Dr. Jeckel/Hyde was trying to say is that if you think just having him talk to someone and occupying his mind with something else is enough to make him stop, you're probably kidding yourself. If it was that easy, this forum (and many, many other crack/cocaine recovery support groups) wouldn't exist. He will probably need a considerable amount of rehabilitation to beat this and perhaps you have underestimated what he and you are up against. I might postpone the optimism until after he decides to get REAL with his recovery.
As they say -- you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink.
hey sophie for what its worth good luck with it, i am an eternal optimist about everything and can see good where it dont exist to be quite honest...my only advice is that you look after yourself and your little daughter...this is something that i ignored when i was using charlie all the time, and in retospect i regret it.
Many people on here find that by talikng about their specific experiences that this enables them not to use, well thats why i do it anyway, i find it so difficult to reconcile the fact that when partners/spouses of users engage in useful forums like this ... the gap between users and victims of users etc... a new thread is needed to deal with this phenomenon...i just want to help, as do others, and we also have our own motives .. peace to you all tonight, and sophie if the keyworker thing doesnt work then its not the end of it.... by the way why has he got a key worker? i thought they were involved rough sleepers??? pls email me as its difficult on here to expreesss things...
jakeurban@outgun.com
Many people on here find that by talikng about their specific experiences that this enables them not to use, well thats why i do it anyway, i find it so difficult to reconcile the fact that when partners/spouses of users engage in useful forums like this ... the gap between users and victims of users etc... a new thread is needed to deal with this phenomenon...i just want to help, as do others, and we also have our own motives .. peace to you all tonight, and sophie if the keyworker thing doesnt work then its not the end of it.... by the way why has he got a key worker? i thought they were involved rough sleepers??? pls email me as its difficult on here to expreesss things...
jakeurban@outgun.com