Sister ya snuck in here...........how goes it.........we all missed ya awful.
Lots going on over here...........your boys got a Virtual football league going and Jazwan is the only chick in on it............check it out.
How's our beautiful baby girl?
What's good, Diff?
Aight then did I dream I saw Diff?
Hallucinations are next for me........I so lost it.
Hallucinations are next for me........I so lost it.
No she was definitely here with a brilliant post for someone...forget who now...
:o)
:o)
..Alrite Bryn..
..Jaz aint in there at the mo..she aint sorted a team out yet..prob to busy with her stuff..or maybe just dont wanna get whooped by blue is the colour haha!!.. im only jokin jaz if ya read this ;)..have a good weekend peeps..Robbie..
..Edit..i did see a post from diff aswell somewhere a few days ago..
..Jaz aint in there at the mo..she aint sorted a team out yet..prob to busy with her stuff..or maybe just dont wanna get whooped by blue is the colour haha!!.. im only jokin jaz if ya read this ;)..have a good weekend peeps..Robbie..
..Edit..i did see a post from diff aswell somewhere a few days ago..
Thank you for your warm welcome back guys! I've been away for a bit. When on a little holiday to see a childhood friend who's running a pub in Lincoln. He got a coke habit and ended up leaving London to get away from it all. Had a nice little break. Now I'm flat out at my house trying to get it into some sort of shape. I'm in a stalemate with the council. They want me to start paying rent, but it's not ready to move into yet. Fortuitously, I had a nice little disaster, which I'm using to hold the council to ransom. Basically I was painting the wall next to the stairs, and I picked at a bit of loose plaster, and about half a tonne of plaster came crashing down around my ears. Now the house is full of rubble, so I've just left the whole lot where it lay, made a little path so I could go up and down the stairs, and I'm dashing about like a mad thing trying to get the place livable before the council haul their sorry arses out to clear up the mess. And of course the can't expect me to move in when I've got half of tonne of plaster and black mortar taking up residence on my stairs, can I?
Soooo, I've painted my bedroom, the lounge is more or less sorted, the kitchen is about there too - just need one more coat of paint. Then I can start on the bathroom, and when that's done I can move in and do the rest of the house in my own sweet time.
Wish it was done already. I'm lurking in the dark coz my twat of a boyfriend went out drinking this afters, and came home in a dangerous mood, kicking off coz I paid his niece to look after the baby whilst I was at my house trying to get everything done. So he called his sister every b****** under the sun, and his mother, and I was on pins waiting for it to be my turn. Sure enough, he picked up the baby and nearly dropped her on the floor. I just told him to be careful and gave him a sharp look, and suddenly I was public nme No 1. So I got told to f*** off, so I took the little one upstairs and watched a bit of x-factor till she went to sleep. Then he sidled off to bed and has been singing and shouting and yawning intermittently ever since.
I can't wait to have my own roof over my head. It's so not nice to be made to feel helpless and powerless and afraid. I mean, he hasn't been violent with me for a while, but I know he's capable of it, and it's just bubbling under the surface. Actually, apart from today, we've been pretty happy recently. But when he makes me feel so small and belittled - sent off to my room like a naughty child - I remember that he's treated me so bad in the past, he's hurt me physically and been unbelievably cruel mentally and emotionally, and he's never had that much interest in who I am, as long as I'm doing what I'm told. And that caged part of my soul that's kept under wraps starts to sing, louder and louder in my head, and my visual imagery conjures a gift, my home, my home, a home for my lost and wondering soul, a place to anchor myself, a sheltered harbour. Something nothing can take from me, something all mine. For my baby too. I recognise she's not all mine, I can't take sole credit for her. Her father loves her immensely - I'd never take her away from him, but I know she'll be safe with me, and she'll never feel like she doesn't belong. She doesn't belong to me. I belong to her.
And yes, she gets more gorgeous with each passing day. She's got two teeth now, and she's eating solid food - well if you can call that mushy stuff solid - more solid than milk I guess. She's such a delight. I took her to meet my Ouma, her great grandmother last week. She hadn't had a chance to meet her until now. And she met my nice sister, her auntie, as opposed to my stuck up miserable cow sister, who she hasn't met, and if things continue as they are, she never will meet. Why are families so messed up? My daughter has got one deranged stepford wife aunt who I avoid like the plague, she's got two half sisters and one half brother who have never met her, coz their father messed up big time there. Hell, she's got a nephew who's 4 years older than her, who I doubt she'll ever meet! And my dad is still living in cloud cuckoo land, completely at a loss to grasp my my mum is more than a little annoyed at him for his ongoing affair with the south african tart, Amanda. Honestly he just hoping that if he keeps lying and pretending, eventually everybody will forget about it. God, if I was my mum, I'd have given him a little reality check in the form of a divorce paper and all the assets she can take off him. His three b****** houses, his flash cars and just ot rub salt in the wound his collection of priceless guitars he brags about so much. But she feels sorry for him! Daft, soft, beautiful thing that she is...
Anyway, I hear noises from above. so better go!
love y'all
diff xxxx
Soooo, I've painted my bedroom, the lounge is more or less sorted, the kitchen is about there too - just need one more coat of paint. Then I can start on the bathroom, and when that's done I can move in and do the rest of the house in my own sweet time.
Wish it was done already. I'm lurking in the dark coz my twat of a boyfriend went out drinking this afters, and came home in a dangerous mood, kicking off coz I paid his niece to look after the baby whilst I was at my house trying to get everything done. So he called his sister every b****** under the sun, and his mother, and I was on pins waiting for it to be my turn. Sure enough, he picked up the baby and nearly dropped her on the floor. I just told him to be careful and gave him a sharp look, and suddenly I was public nme No 1. So I got told to f*** off, so I took the little one upstairs and watched a bit of x-factor till she went to sleep. Then he sidled off to bed and has been singing and shouting and yawning intermittently ever since.
I can't wait to have my own roof over my head. It's so not nice to be made to feel helpless and powerless and afraid. I mean, he hasn't been violent with me for a while, but I know he's capable of it, and it's just bubbling under the surface. Actually, apart from today, we've been pretty happy recently. But when he makes me feel so small and belittled - sent off to my room like a naughty child - I remember that he's treated me so bad in the past, he's hurt me physically and been unbelievably cruel mentally and emotionally, and he's never had that much interest in who I am, as long as I'm doing what I'm told. And that caged part of my soul that's kept under wraps starts to sing, louder and louder in my head, and my visual imagery conjures a gift, my home, my home, a home for my lost and wondering soul, a place to anchor myself, a sheltered harbour. Something nothing can take from me, something all mine. For my baby too. I recognise she's not all mine, I can't take sole credit for her. Her father loves her immensely - I'd never take her away from him, but I know she'll be safe with me, and she'll never feel like she doesn't belong. She doesn't belong to me. I belong to her.
And yes, she gets more gorgeous with each passing day. She's got two teeth now, and she's eating solid food - well if you can call that mushy stuff solid - more solid than milk I guess. She's such a delight. I took her to meet my Ouma, her great grandmother last week. She hadn't had a chance to meet her until now. And she met my nice sister, her auntie, as opposed to my stuck up miserable cow sister, who she hasn't met, and if things continue as they are, she never will meet. Why are families so messed up? My daughter has got one deranged stepford wife aunt who I avoid like the plague, she's got two half sisters and one half brother who have never met her, coz their father messed up big time there. Hell, she's got a nephew who's 4 years older than her, who I doubt she'll ever meet! And my dad is still living in cloud cuckoo land, completely at a loss to grasp my my mum is more than a little annoyed at him for his ongoing affair with the south african tart, Amanda. Honestly he just hoping that if he keeps lying and pretending, eventually everybody will forget about it. God, if I was my mum, I'd have given him a little reality check in the form of a divorce paper and all the assets she can take off him. His three b****** houses, his flash cars and just ot rub salt in the wound his collection of priceless guitars he brags about so much. But she feels sorry for him! Daft, soft, beautiful thing that she is...
Anyway, I hear noises from above. so better go!
love y'all
diff xxxx
Glad to hear from you Diff, always like reading your posts, you talk alot of sense. Like that woman never going backwards, it made me think....Take it easy, Kev
Oh, oh, forgot to mention, I booked my tickets for south africa - I'm going out for a month, in feb 2008. Watch out Amanda! Diff is on your case - I'm a sweet natured girl, but like Bill (my stinky rottweiler) I'm friendly to my friends, but mean as a mean thing if you cross me.
So! Go Diff! Go Diff! Another big adventure coming up! I aint's just going out to kick that Amanda's sorry arse, I'm goin' on safari, I'm goin' surfing (ha! I can just about stand up on dry land!) I'm checkin' out the clubs in Cape Town, I'm going shark diving, I'm gonna meet some penguins, I'm gonna eat dinner in La Madelaines, and I'm gonna smoke some serious malawi!!!
party coming up!
diffodil x
So! Go Diff! Go Diff! Another big adventure coming up! I aint's just going out to kick that Amanda's sorry arse, I'm goin' on safari, I'm goin' surfing (ha! I can just about stand up on dry land!) I'm checkin' out the clubs in Cape Town, I'm going shark diving, I'm gonna meet some penguins, I'm gonna eat dinner in La Madelaines, and I'm gonna smoke some serious malawi!!!
party coming up!
diffodil x
Sounds brilliant Diff, glad for you. My sis, niece and nephew are going to Austalia in Dec, i was meant to be going also but due to convictions i'll no be able to. She's going to move there after her degree so i'm gonna have to stock up on the mars bars and stowaway on a ship lol. Need to see my family, eh?
Like the names Diff, or is it Diffarama or...
Like the names Diff, or is it Diffarama or...
Oh by the way La Madeleines is the only michelen 5 star restaurant in the southern hemisphere. But my old man told me that and he talks a lot of bollocks. But hey, a lowly old scumbag like me, goin' to a proper posh place like that. times' they are a changin'! My old man said he'd take me there, so he's paying. He's got far too much money anyway, so about time I spent some of it. That's a bit unfair, he's bailed me out a heap of times, and I'm into him for about 10 big ones. But like I said, the old fart can afford it... Like the advert says "life is for living"...
diffco da blind sister x
diffco da blind sister x
And kev, they let anybody into south africa! But they couldn't keep me out, coz I'm a citizen, by a bizarre twist of fate, due to my parentage..
running out of diffizms x
running out of diffizms x
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?
Diff, you are EXOTIC........you got citizenship at other countries?
All that travelling and all I don't get excited, BUT LaMadelines? This is an expensive, posh, high brow restraunt? I AM JEALOUS!
Fine dinning appeals to me..........man, you better go there, Diff.......visit them sharks AFTER the fine dinning..........and stay away from that Amanda chick cause no doubt PRISON in South Africa can't be too nice.
Hate to say it, BUT use them all..........none of us here by nature are USERS.
Well drug USERS yeah, but not the people kind............maybe that's why we USED....who knows, BUT in my older years here I can say Diff.......I'm learning to just a little bit.......chill..........and take a little ya know?
Do what ya got to do..........and the baby.........oh my gosh, Diff if ya can post some pictures of her.........TEETH........it goes so fast.
I wonder why the caged bird sings?
Your imagery is lovely..............my dear Tatty Byes.
Diff, you are EXOTIC........you got citizenship at other countries?
All that travelling and all I don't get excited, BUT LaMadelines? This is an expensive, posh, high brow restraunt? I AM JEALOUS!
Fine dinning appeals to me..........man, you better go there, Diff.......visit them sharks AFTER the fine dinning..........and stay away from that Amanda chick cause no doubt PRISON in South Africa can't be too nice.
Hate to say it, BUT use them all..........none of us here by nature are USERS.
Well drug USERS yeah, but not the people kind............maybe that's why we USED....who knows, BUT in my older years here I can say Diff.......I'm learning to just a little bit.......chill..........and take a little ya know?
Do what ya got to do..........and the baby.........oh my gosh, Diff if ya can post some pictures of her.........TEETH........it goes so fast.
I wonder why the caged bird sings?
Your imagery is lovely..............my dear Tatty Byes.
Bryn, I know you're right. I'm just feeling frustrated coz I see my mum being so sad, and she asked me not to say anything to my dad, so I'm just railing at the only available target I've got. I probably won't kick her arse, but I'm so itching to sound off at my old man. Shame I haven't got any big burly brothers, coz someone needs to front up to that man and tell it like it is. I've told my old girl I'll stay out of it, but things will change. The problem with my family is they are stark staring terrified of the truth, and play this little make believe game. If you ignore a problem long enough and just keep acting like everything is OK, then eventually it will pass. But I know different. You can't side-step the issue, you've got no choice but to grab the bull by the horns, bite the bullet and tackle it head on. Would I have got clean if I didn't wise up and get real? No chance! Ignoring a problem is a cowards tactic. I know my mum is afraid, she loves my old man, and doesn't want the marriage to end, but at some point she has to pluck up the courage to give him an ultimatum. I think it can only do good. He has to realise exactly what is at stake, and she's the only one who can do that. But if she won't do it, and it's still going on by the time I go out in Feb, then I will tell my mum that I am going to speak to him, and I'll tell him straight. Coz someone's got to. The truth will set you free...
love
diffo x
love
diffo x
Aw Diff, you take care of yourself and your little one...don't let anyone hurt you...you always sound so strong in your posts...and you're clearly strong enough to protect your mum and stick up for those you love...just make sure you stick up for yourself too... You've always been there with brilliant advice for me...not always easy to hear but always to the point and so right...I worry bout the violence you say is bubbling under the surface...what would you reply to that post if someone else had written it?...
Hope you have a fantastic time abroad (as well as sorting a few things out!)...safari sounds great!
Take care, lotsa love,
Maddy x
Hope you have a fantastic time abroad (as well as sorting a few things out!)...safari sounds great!
Take care, lotsa love,
Maddy x
