Good morning.
So, lately as people around our family come to know my son is in jail again......3rd time? Loosing count. There have been many who say, he just has grow up, he just has to not use......he has a choice......it is not a disease. As an ER nurse and a life long student, I started to read and talk to my patients about it. There is a lot of info both directions. The addicts have said it is a choice. They know they are going to do it. I think, ok, diabetes/heart disease are both disease of choice/heredity like addiction. But, in order to stay healthy one has to take their medications, attend appts, exercise, monitor their blood etc. But, as one of my addict patients said, yes, even in those diseases it is a choice to do so. The diabetic and heart disease patient has to choice to do those things to be well.
Ok, I get that, but then I realized who the f'cares if it is a choice or a disease. Drug use/abuse/addiction is more like pregnancy.......either you are or you are not. That conversation of choice or addiction is the rationalization of those around the addict. Trying to "understand" what we can not understand or control. So....my response to those who will have their two bits, yes, he has been using drugs and needs to do this on his own. I am very sad and frustrated, but hopeful. Because until he is gone, there is always a chance.
Any other thoughts on this subject? As a nurse it is so hard to not try to understand-to put some traction under my feet.
Our family has decided to take a different approach to this whole recovery process. Our daughter did 2 rehabs, extended care housing and tons of AA meetings as well as out patient meetings with an addiction specialist. After her most recent relapse she came to us for help and we all sat down and discussed her options. She felt that even though this is a disease she felt that she did need to control it and could control it, but she totally needed to change her people, places and things and that meant no AA meetings. She said that attending those just reminded her over and over again about her drug and wanting her to use even more. Plus the people she met there said they were clean but were using on the side all the time and she wasn't sure who to trust anymore. We made a family decision to have her detox at home, start seeing a private psychiatrist to deal with any mental illness issues she may have, go on vivitrol, get a job and create her own list of boundaries she needed to get well. So far so good. The vivitrol is working well, she loves her new jobs and feels productive and for the first time in 2 years have friends who are not part of the drug world. She cut off facebook and has a new phone number where no one can contact her. We know this goes against what you hear since we are deliberating avoiding meetings but we felt this was worth a shot. IF this does work though, it is only because all of this was her "choice" and she feels empowered for the first time in a long time instead of feeling that this disease has a hold of her and she is powerless over it.
Dear Notagain, Is it a diease or a choice you ask, we all seek the answer we are all searching...I have been to rehabs with my son counseling , I have researched it deeper then any research paper I was ever assigned....My son as you know is a addict.Chris still as many have said hurts himself ...His addiction I believe is a diease .Yes it is his choice to inject to sniff to use.But I do not believe it was a rational decision of his to steal lie cheat commit fraud commit grand larceny. ..These were actions that were driven by his mind and bodies desire of the drug.Chris was on suboxone the doctors and medical specialists explained that once herion and opiates are used it compromised the receptors in his brain...I'm not making excuses I am stating facts...I know my son when he is not clouded by drugs he has such a amazing heart his smile can light up a room...He is so handsome...yet he allows this drug to rob him of that...You mentioned diabetes and pregnancy...You cannot compare one diease to another there are many factors involved many driving forces for example yes a diabetic can watch their sugar intake but they may not be able to control the reaction of their body...pregnancy yes I was pregnant I lost 2 cchildren I took care of myself yet I could do nothing to stop potters syndrome.I do not in my heart believe it is within the addicts control as choice once their mind body and sense of rational have been compromised...As a nation. We need to do better to address this as a diease it is the only way to try and get a handle on it.Until we do we will continue to lose people to over doses people to jails ...we must face this head on as I said if we treat it correctly we may not stop it but maybe we can prevent another from ever using in the first place.
Thanks chris mom-I appreciate your wisdom. It is hard to be a nurse as I have this huge desire to know -we google everything - but there is a piece of addiction -that individual/unique person that makes addiction a very personal thing.
I so appreciate all the wisdom here from addicts and families. Can't do it alone!!
I so appreciate all the wisdom here from addicts and families. Can't do it alone!!
I believe addiction is an illness, disease and a choice. I believe while it is active it is a illness with disease tendencies...because the person usually physically needs the substance to function (or they feel they are functioning). I believe when it is arrested...or stopped for a period of time...it then becomes a choice. But there is no doubt as you know as a Nurse that all chemicals alter the brain. So once your brain becomes changed you have caused yourself another "illness"....a mental illness. And mental illness can be a catch 22 leading you back to your addiction. I have been reading your recovery diary....because there are so many similarities between your son and my son..both of similar ages. I just don't know to start a diary on myself or him. I'm an alcoholic....enabler.....nicotine addict....but I am enjoying watching you "grow". I grew for a time the last time my son was in prison, but he was only gone for 6 months. So when he came out I was strong for a while...but it didn't last. I'm hoping since your son is going to be gone for a while that you have ENOUGH time to build a solid foundation in your recovery. I just want you to know that you have a supporter here...and that you seem to be doing very well!
Keep up the good work.
Keep up the good work.
