Since finding this forum I've read other stories and walk in all their shoes. I finally stop enabling while it almost wreck me emotionally I'm getting stronger. Two months ago I kissed my son on forehead and said goodbye.
Today I get a called from case worker he finally asked for help and she said he is really making the
Effort doing everything he is asked.
He has to continue to detox because he is still getting surgery on his arm .
Once he finishes detox and starts physio they serious recovery including 12 steps.
Do I hope he finally has hit bottom and will be a success story.
Can anyone give me thoughts that I can actually believe that he is committed and what to look for.
Right now I told him I'll support him and be here but will not enable him again.
I am afraid after 20 years he really wants this I'm afraid to believe .
Al-Anon and Nar-Anon use the same 12 Steps as the alcoholic/addict.
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/the-twelve-steps
God and the Al-Anon oldtimers can help you.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/the-twelve-steps
God and the Al-Anon oldtimers can help you.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
It sounds as if your son has finally decided to seek recovery. That is wonderful news. Remember though that this is his journey, not yours. Work on yourself.....on your own recovery. If you are at all like me, I had a lot of work to do and it wasn't easy. Just like you will expect he should resist using again, you must resist helping again. These journeys really are "one day at a time." After years they may be two days, but I haven't gotten there. Our sons are similar in the longevity and intensity of their addictions and I believe that makes it harder on everyone involved. Be strong and faithful
From this mom's heart to yours........
From this mom's heart to yours........
Dear helplessmother,
I agree with Papa Bear - please attend an Al Anon or NAR Anon meeting.
You will find your answer there. I understand the natural instinct to worry and hope for an ideal outcome for your addict. He may have hit bottom, he may not have.
However, there is nothing you can do about it. You are allowing things, which are out of your control, to effect your daily life. You don't need to live this way. There is a better way. It takes some time and some work. Start by finding a good meeting.
I hope this helps.
I agree with Papa Bear - please attend an Al Anon or NAR Anon meeting.
You will find your answer there. I understand the natural instinct to worry and hope for an ideal outcome for your addict. He may have hit bottom, he may not have.
However, there is nothing you can do about it. You are allowing things, which are out of your control, to effect your daily life. You don't need to live this way. There is a better way. It takes some time and some work. Start by finding a good meeting.
I hope this helps.
All of these are great suggestions. I, as a mother of an addict will tell you to Love Your Son. Don't fall for anything but just love him, and show him you support him. He is trying and so should you.
He got me again.I'm so mad at myself.He had his so called case worker con me. 150$ for emergency surgery co pay before his Medicaid took effect.
Now this case worker posted on FB they are married . I'm so livid at myself.
This will be the last time. I'm so ashamed he con me again !!
Now this case worker posted on FB they are married . I'm so livid at myself.
This will be the last time. I'm so ashamed he con me again !!
Don't be ashamed helpless mom. You were only doing what you thought was the right thing. If he would of been truthful and said the money was from to wed, and you gave it to hi then that is a reason to feel angry at yourself. No one here thinks of you any different.
Update
Well my son is still sober,living on the street but he got a job. Saving for an apt.
His arm is healing and he has full use of it.
He said it was a wake-up call. The proof is in the pudding.
He knows it's a long battle I'm praying he finally believes in himself.
My heart knows better .He has no coping skills when things go wrong he goes back.
I just keep praying
Well my son is still sober,living on the street but he got a job. Saving for an apt.
His arm is healing and he has full use of it.
He said it was a wake-up call. The proof is in the pudding.
He knows it's a long battle I'm praying he finally believes in himself.
My heart knows better .He has no coping skills when things go wrong he goes back.
I just keep praying
