hi i wonder if any one is wise enough to give me some advice ive been with my bloke for ten y ears and we have battled on and off with heroin the latest lapse he was taking naltrexone he would take it in front of me and still managed to decieve me i have kicked him out of our home he is supposedly clean now but i dont know where else to go with this i love him but do i let him come home please if any can offer any advice i would be forever grateful x
Unless you really trust him, then I would say no. You will only suffer the same trauma again.
Maybe date him again, go places etc and see how you feel. Take things slowly and if you feel you can trust him again then go for it.
Hope this helps xx
Maybe date him again, go places etc and see how you feel. Take things slowly and if you feel you can trust him again then go for it.
Hope this helps xx
If you already have doubts about it then please go with your gut not your heart. You can still date him just don't let him move back in until he proves to you otherwise!
thanks guys i was thinking along those lines so glad i came across this website are you in uk?
Baz,
My man is an heroin addict although at this moment he's not on the gear but there is always the danger that he'll be back on it again, that is what you have to consider do you love him both on and off it. And if it's hard when he's on it why is that, does he steal from you or lie about money? Does he use in your house, ring his dealer from your phone?
If any of these things are in your relationship you have to sort them first before you consider taking him back.
If he doesn't do any of these then is it just that you can't watch him doing something which is killing him then it comes down to a choice. For me I love the man not the addict and it has to be unconditional his addiction doesn't get in the way of our daily life in a practical way, on an emotional level it's harder.
It's always your call and you will feel different about this at different times according to what other things are going on in your life according to how strong you are. Was he an addict when you met him, did you know the score.
Post on the families board many have been where you are.
k
My man is an heroin addict although at this moment he's not on the gear but there is always the danger that he'll be back on it again, that is what you have to consider do you love him both on and off it. And if it's hard when he's on it why is that, does he steal from you or lie about money? Does he use in your house, ring his dealer from your phone?
If any of these things are in your relationship you have to sort them first before you consider taking him back.
If he doesn't do any of these then is it just that you can't watch him doing something which is killing him then it comes down to a choice. For me I love the man not the addict and it has to be unconditional his addiction doesn't get in the way of our daily life in a practical way, on an emotional level it's harder.
It's always your call and you will feel different about this at different times according to what other things are going on in your life according to how strong you are. Was he an addict when you met him, did you know the score.
Post on the families board many have been where you are.
k
Hey baz,
Some of us are in the UK, and some in the States......and there's some great people here from other places as well.
I'm a recovering addict.........everyone gave great advice.......although I see it different as you are a recovering addict as well.
That's a really tough call........for me I couldn't live with someone using.......I know I'd use............even if they hid it and then I found out like you......I'd have been tempted I think.
You're strong though to have kicked him out........whatever you decide I hope it works out...like Jazwan said pop on and check it all out....better days for ya.
Some of us are in the UK, and some in the States......and there's some great people here from other places as well.
I'm a recovering addict.........everyone gave great advice.......although I see it different as you are a recovering addict as well.
That's a really tough call........for me I couldn't live with someone using.......I know I'd use............even if they hid it and then I found out like you......I'd have been tempted I think.
You're strong though to have kicked him out........whatever you decide I hope it works out...like Jazwan said pop on and check it all out....better days for ya.
thanks for your replies i cant tell you how it helps knowing that there are others who havie been through this, i have read lots on the family board and have been sitting here in tears at some of the trauma others have been through and feel as though my situation seems trivial compared to that of others.
its been 2 long weeks now since my partner moved out he texts me and rings me often he is clean again and is adamant that he is never goin to use ever again he wants to come home?????? i am keeping strong but its so hard. i have been thinking a lot about what u sed jazwan about seperating the addict and the man and i think i am starting to understand a bit more.
Although this is his fourth relapse its the first time i have kicked him out so its all new to me. we were together for 10 years he was not an addict wen we met and managed very well to keep it secret for a couple of years really how thick was i??????? anyway i wont go on he has never stole from me and has managed to keep his job and has never injected he always tells me this but i have always caught him before things got too far and im wondering how the addiction would progress if i hadnt??? bryn wot do you think???
anyway thanks again for bein out there xxxx
its been 2 long weeks now since my partner moved out he texts me and rings me often he is clean again and is adamant that he is never goin to use ever again he wants to come home?????? i am keeping strong but its so hard. i have been thinking a lot about what u sed jazwan about seperating the addict and the man and i think i am starting to understand a bit more.
Although this is his fourth relapse its the first time i have kicked him out so its all new to me. we were together for 10 years he was not an addict wen we met and managed very well to keep it secret for a couple of years really how thick was i??????? anyway i wont go on he has never stole from me and has managed to keep his job and has never injected he always tells me this but i have always caught him before things got too far and im wondering how the addiction would progress if i hadnt??? bryn wot do you think???
anyway thanks again for bein out there xxxx
hello ive just read your parragraph i know excatly how you feel ive been with my fella for ten years too trying to battle the gear an im starting to get fed up with the whole thing hes clean then he relapses then he s clean again then the same thing happens it just feels like he is taking the piss out of me we have 4 children together an its not fair on them he is in an out of prison and then there is the lies im so really pissed off of it i love him an im scared of him dying through the drugs do you think its best to move away from the area that we live in? or do you think if he wants it he will get it anywhere we are ???? thanks for listening to me having a moan xx
