Do I need to kick my son out of my house for him to hit rock bottom? He is 19 and doing Heroin he lies constantly saying he's done but again and again it's a lie.This past weekend his empty packet didn't flush down the toilet my husband found it floating. When he was confronted all he said was F... I just don't know what to do anymore i am physically ill from all this my stress levels are so high that I need to see a chiropractor because my neck is so tight from tension that my ears bother me and I'm dizzy a lot. I don't know if sending him out in the cold winter is right I also fear he will feel no one cares about him and use more. He refuses rehab.
Hi Mom's hell,
Do you ever think about counselling or addiction treatment for your son? It seems that your son is addicted to the substance, even though he needs to get out it, the trigger won't allow him to quit it. He definitely needs help, instead of kicking him out, try to convince him and give some support to get out of this world. Browse for some good rehab centers. Seek the help of any review sites like Canada rehab review sites for choosing the best and affordable one. I strongly believe that proper care and help will help everyone to get rid of an addiction. You know, the best treatment for your son is love and support. If you kick him out, that will make the things worse. think about it and take a wise decision. And all the best for your chiropractic treatment.
Do you ever think about counselling or addiction treatment for your son? It seems that your son is addicted to the substance, even though he needs to get out it, the trigger won't allow him to quit it. He definitely needs help, instead of kicking him out, try to convince him and give some support to get out of this world. Browse for some good rehab centers. Seek the help of any review sites like Canada rehab review sites for choosing the best and affordable one. I strongly believe that proper care and help will help everyone to get rid of an addiction. You know, the best treatment for your son is love and support. If you kick him out, that will make the things worse. think about it and take a wise decision. And all the best for your chiropractic treatment.
Hi Barbaradse90
Thank you for replying to my post. I have offered my son rehab many times he says he can quit on his own since he is 19 I can not make him go. He started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago and has been using the two weeks. We had a terrible night he came home said he was done (again) so please reconsider throwing me out saying things were different this time (I asked why) he told me he does not have a dealer anymore his dealer was threatening him telling him he was going to f... him up this was all through text i read it and am terrified. My son told me this dealer does not know where we live or the town we live in. Not sure if I believe that since he has told me nothing but lies for so long. through the text I also discovered he has driven this dealer around. Where has my son gone?? We will see if he lets himself go through withdraws and stay on the straight.
Thank you for replying to my post. I have offered my son rehab many times he says he can quit on his own since he is 19 I can not make him go. He started seeing a therapist 2 weeks ago and has been using the two weeks. We had a terrible night he came home said he was done (again) so please reconsider throwing me out saying things were different this time (I asked why) he told me he does not have a dealer anymore his dealer was threatening him telling him he was going to f... him up this was all through text i read it and am terrified. My son told me this dealer does not know where we live or the town we live in. Not sure if I believe that since he has told me nothing but lies for so long. through the text I also discovered he has driven this dealer around. Where has my son gone?? We will see if he lets himself go through withdraws and stay on the straight.
Hi, I,m sorry what your going through. You should go on the message board for "Families/Partners of Addicts" you will get good information on there and can read messages from other people in the same predicament as yourself. You are not alone now that you have found this website. We are all here for you to write to and we all help each other get through the days. One mother told me once 1. You didn't cause this 2. You can't control it 3. You can't cure it. When I get bad days where I wrestle with my thoughts on what to do, how did this happen, am I to blame. I remember those three things and they give me comfort and strength. I have been going through this with my daughter for 17 years!! She is 34 and just 17 yrs old when I found out. It started as heroin and now it's anything and everything. People get clean and off drugs all the time. There are recovery message boards to read on here too to prove it. A lot say giving them somewhere to live or eat or giving them the odd money for cigs etc just prolongs the addicts use. I hate to tell you but I believe it to be true also. I think as long as they have comfort and family and friends help them then they will never know the hardship of their choice of living as an addict. It's very hard to turn your child away when they need you, I know! I just did it a few month ago and I wish I had done it years ago because I think it would have made her quit sooner. I hope you find some comfort coming on here. We all feel for you and know your sadness. We're here for you now. God Bless. Mary
Agreed,
I hate to say it too- because that is your son, your flesh & blood, BUT- with that being said, as long as he's got a warm bed and a place to live there really isn't any bad consequences that would making him realize how bad his actions are. Since you've offered rehab (jeez- wish someone had offered me that- i woulda JUMPED at the chance) and he's not interested- that tells me he doesn't really wanna stop. Keep in mind that he's 19 and still in the "I'm invinceable" phase of life too. He thinks that nothing can seriously hurt him. In all honesty mom, if you are serious, you should say, "as long as you live here- there will be NO using." If you find out there is, then he goes right out the door. It's been done to me in the past- and in all honesty, it was what made me make serious changes. I couldn't afford to live and use. Ended up in a really bad situation, hit bottom and made big changes.
Of course it's your call Mom- and no one can really tell you what to do. But we will be here for you either way. I honestly feel you've got to put your foot down. If you don't he'll just continue to do what he's doing. Will be keeping you in prayers. This is a tough, tough road.
OL
I hate to say it too- because that is your son, your flesh & blood, BUT- with that being said, as long as he's got a warm bed and a place to live there really isn't any bad consequences that would making him realize how bad his actions are. Since you've offered rehab (jeez- wish someone had offered me that- i woulda JUMPED at the chance) and he's not interested- that tells me he doesn't really wanna stop. Keep in mind that he's 19 and still in the "I'm invinceable" phase of life too. He thinks that nothing can seriously hurt him. In all honesty mom, if you are serious, you should say, "as long as you live here- there will be NO using." If you find out there is, then he goes right out the door. It's been done to me in the past- and in all honesty, it was what made me make serious changes. I couldn't afford to live and use. Ended up in a really bad situation, hit bottom and made big changes.
Of course it's your call Mom- and no one can really tell you what to do. But we will be here for you either way. I honestly feel you've got to put your foot down. If you don't he'll just continue to do what he's doing. Will be keeping you in prayers. This is a tough, tough road.
OL
Thank you both for your input it means a lot to me. My son is going through withdraws has been sleeping for 14 hours sweating, tired, yawning(read yawning is part of withdraws) I know the aches and pains are next. I know he means it when he says he's done I also know there is a time when it does happen just hoping this is it. He has so much life ahead of him. I give him my love and support but he knows I have had enough if he does not stay on course this time he's out of the house. I no longer feel sick to my stomach and riddled with anxiety I am ANGRY. His addiction has taken over my life. I have another son who is autistic and needs my support and guidance to make his life better. As the saying goes "one day at a time" So hoping he's stronger this time. All I can do is help him through this mentally. Pray for success.
Dear Mom,
Please get your son in a program. And you should know, you are not alone. Get help for yourself so you have knowledge. Your son is an addict. His brain has been changed. He no longer can use it for logic or reasoning. Trust me I know. And start calling your insurance company to see what kinds of services they will support. But no matter what get him help. There is no rock bottom with heroin users. Rock bottom is death. I'll pray for you and your son. Listen to the other's readers advice, they also know what they are talking about. It is not your fault, you did not cause this. You can't control it.
Please get your son in a program. And you should know, you are not alone. Get help for yourself so you have knowledge. Your son is an addict. His brain has been changed. He no longer can use it for logic or reasoning. Trust me I know. And start calling your insurance company to see what kinds of services they will support. But no matter what get him help. There is no rock bottom with heroin users. Rock bottom is death. I'll pray for you and your son. Listen to the other's readers advice, they also know what they are talking about. It is not your fault, you did not cause this. You can't control it.
I am so sorry for you all. I have been exactly where you are. My daughter tried to detox herself several times. Once they get through the withdraw they will have the mental addiction to deal with. NA is very important for an addict. My daughter is in treatment again at the moment. This is the 6th time in a year. I am thankful for that, but she can never make it past 90 days clean. I have to set boundaries for myself, her and my other children. I told her that if she wants to use drugs and doesn't want to get help then she cannot live in my home. She left and was staying with a friend that uses. She hated living in a dirty home with disgusting people, but I wouldn't let her home. I had to stick to my boundaries. I love her & support her with her recovery, but when she uses drugs she cannot stay with me & I will not give her anything but food & love. I know this sucks as a parent, but they need to want to get help. We can't do it for them. Good luck to you.
Addicts are very resourceful people...they find drugs and money when they are needed and can manipulate most situations to their benefit. My daughter who has been clean now for 7 years tells me the best thing we ever did for her was ask her to leave the family home...it forced her to fend for herself and decide what kind of life she really wanted and could manage. She had ODed in our home, been to several detoxes, lost her job and friends and lied, manipulated and stolen.
What you really need to do is get help for YOU. Go to AlAnon or some other support group for family members of addicts/alcoholics. You don;t have to be miserable because your child has made bad choices. I know you think it's impossible to be happy while he's struggling, but it's simply not true. We are as responsible for our choices as they are for theirs. It's okay to take care of your own needs and be a beacon to him of what a solid, well-lived life can look like.
He may or may not survive his addiction, that's the ugly truth, but you don't have to take the ride with him...we are free to jump off their merry-go-round at the time of our choosing. It doesn't make you a bad mother or a bad person...take care of YOU.
Peace ~ M&M
What you really need to do is get help for YOU. Go to AlAnon or some other support group for family members of addicts/alcoholics. You don;t have to be miserable because your child has made bad choices. I know you think it's impossible to be happy while he's struggling, but it's simply not true. We are as responsible for our choices as they are for theirs. It's okay to take care of your own needs and be a beacon to him of what a solid, well-lived life can look like.
He may or may not survive his addiction, that's the ugly truth, but you don't have to take the ride with him...we are free to jump off their merry-go-round at the time of our choosing. It doesn't make you a bad mother or a bad person...take care of YOU.
Peace ~ M&M
heroin is the worse demon drug on the planet, Used in any type of regularity is extremely addictive and the withdraw is like nothing I would wish on anyone not my worse enemy even. what happens is it changes the chemical balance in the brain. If he was 4 days in I hope and pray he made it threw . it usually takes 5 to 7 to detox and that is the worse part,, this covers the physical dependency of the drug, next is post acute withdraw . its like rearranging the furniture in his brain and it opens up so many receptors in the brain cause it was getting flooded with happy things now the happy things are gone(heroin) and the brain is craving for happy. Fortunately this will pass. the newly grown receptors will not go away but will go dormant. However it takes time... He needs to put himself in a position that forces the physical body to produce happy things. The brain doesn't know if it heroine ,exercise , music, sex, ect. It just rewards the body when it does good things to it,,, I hope your understanding this, Im trying not to go into the science of it all just trying to explain what he is going threw, and believe me when I tell you its not easy but with help, strength and some prayer he can do it. Although he is hurting you and all involved , im positive its not his intension,
Stay strong don't give up,, he is 19 it took me to my fifty,s to say enough is enough.
GOOD LUCK
P.S. If he goes threw withdraw on the streets its not going to be pretty as you see what he is going threw in the home fighting it.
Stay strong don't give up,, he is 19 it took me to my fifty,s to say enough is enough.
GOOD LUCK
P.S. If he goes threw withdraw on the streets its not going to be pretty as you see what he is going threw in the home fighting it.
