It really is good to see people who sounded so down and out a few weeks ago, sounding so positive. I want some of that to rub onto me. I don't know what i'm doing! I think i want to quit and then i don't want to quit and feel like i don't have a problem. Everyone tells me when you are ready to quit it will happen. I want to quit because it is the right thing to do but my brother tells me that i really have to want it. I always have done things cos its the right thing to do, so why am I having so much trouble with this? Basically, if i'm truthful i don't want to quit. It feels better saying that. I am very confused though because i want to be that straight, high on life person but i also want to be stoned. Its having your cake and eating it to! Is anyone else experiencing the same confusing thoughts. It drives me mad being so positive one day then thinking F--k it, lets get stoned!
Chrissie
Hi, it's the old Joy Missing. Tomorrow night I'm going to a Robert Plant concert. I'm very confused too. Can I have a few puffs and enjoy myself for an evening? Second row on the floor. Second hand smoke all around. :-) Gawd, my stomache is churning thinking about it with anxiety. I need to have a plan in place. What plan??? I have no idea. But at least you and I are thinking about things, Chrissie. But with addictive thinking, it's easy to tell myself I'm not an addict after all, look how quickly I've progressed and what's wrong with a few puffs? Maybe the question is what's right with a few puffs? Nothing. I have come so far.
chrissie---i was in the same boat as you, it took 8 years to quit.
wonder woman....sometimes i have been around it about 2 times since i quit, and i felt so strong and almost rebelious turning it down. just like i did when i was a teen and toking it.
it was kinda neat.
now i have to be honest, and i know the hard school folks wouldnt like this i still have a drink from time to time.
i have never been a big drinker, we are catholic, so school functions the whole shabang centers around it. but i really havent drank any more than i did before, my fear would be drinking so much my decision making would be impaired where i would smoke any way.
i just dont drink that much.
so a beer at a concert might make me feel like i am fitting in and having fun, but if you know you are the type to drink ten at a concert might not be a good idea. hahahaha.
i have also noticed since quitting smoking i have not been able to ge any kind of buzz of alcohol which was quiet easy before, must have been the high thc level. now that it is lowered, the alcohol is just incompetent which is also helpful.
anyway, i really have no point, i am home with a sick 8 year old with nothing to do, haha.
wonder woman....sometimes i have been around it about 2 times since i quit, and i felt so strong and almost rebelious turning it down. just like i did when i was a teen and toking it.
it was kinda neat.
now i have to be honest, and i know the hard school folks wouldnt like this i still have a drink from time to time.
i have never been a big drinker, we are catholic, so school functions the whole shabang centers around it. but i really havent drank any more than i did before, my fear would be drinking so much my decision making would be impaired where i would smoke any way.
i just dont drink that much.
so a beer at a concert might make me feel like i am fitting in and having fun, but if you know you are the type to drink ten at a concert might not be a good idea. hahahaha.
i have also noticed since quitting smoking i have not been able to ge any kind of buzz of alcohol which was quiet easy before, must have been the high thc level. now that it is lowered, the alcohol is just incompetent which is also helpful.
anyway, i really have no point, i am home with a sick 8 year old with nothing to do, haha.
I think I that I keep expecting quitting to happen, that it won't be hard. So, i do it and fail. I've got to realise that its going to take a few go's, maybe hundreds of go's but as long as i understand that what i am doing is wrong and harmful, there might be some luck in me actually quitting. I'm stoned now, I still believe it helps me to sit down and study. I've been at work all morning and now i have to continue writing an assignment. The due date is approaching rapidly, so i keep finding the excuse to smoke so I can write. I have been stoned my entire academic life and have always passed successfully. so once again, for the second time this year i've used the excuse that i need pot to pass this diploma.
Chrissie
Chrissie
Hey guys-
My recent trip gave me time and some expieriences to think about in terms of what is really an addiction. The definition is hard to pin down I think, kinda like how do we define life? We are all addicted to food, terrible withdrawal symptoms, they'll kill ya!
Also some questions raised about whether drug use is the cause or the symptom. If it is only a symptom, then the cause must be dealt with or all you end up with is a "dry addict" I think a lot of 12 steppers fall in this category. Will refine these toughts and get back with you tomorrow. It's late, I'm tired and have much to catch up on. Spent a coupla hours catching up with you guys, looks like pretty much congrats are due all around, so CONGRATULATIONS!
(man I wish they would get these keyboard shortcuts straightend out!)
My recent trip gave me time and some expieriences to think about in terms of what is really an addiction. The definition is hard to pin down I think, kinda like how do we define life? We are all addicted to food, terrible withdrawal symptoms, they'll kill ya!
Also some questions raised about whether drug use is the cause or the symptom. If it is only a symptom, then the cause must be dealt with or all you end up with is a "dry addict" I think a lot of 12 steppers fall in this category. Will refine these toughts and get back with you tomorrow. It's late, I'm tired and have much to catch up on. Spent a coupla hours catching up with you guys, looks like pretty much congrats are due all around, so CONGRATULATIONS!
(man I wish they would get these keyboard shortcuts straightend out!)
After some thought I am convinced that addiction is more than drug use. Why can some folks use and then kick the habit, (heroin, coke, booze, or cigs) and some spend years dry and want to use again during a crisis? I think it is because the issues which were the root cause of the drug use were never dealt with. Certainly we have different "wiring" in our brains to start with and some of us are more susceptible to addiction than others, but many addicts I have talked to have had a traumatic expierience in their lives, usually when they are young. These folks live every day on the edge, think that they have no choice, how sad. We can at least all choose how we want to think. So choose to solve the problem and you will no longer have to live with it. I can hear some of you saying "I just can't do that!" but if you can quit your addiction, you have it in your power to do anything at all your only real enemy is fear.
Crissie-
Why don't you start by giving up everything except pot for a month. With some distance between you and your last use of these other drugs maybe pot will be easier to kick. Going c/t on everything at once may just be too big a bite, and if we have to use clearly pot is the least harmful, specially when smoked thru a cone, as you call it.
Crissie-
Why don't you start by giving up everything except pot for a month. With some distance between you and your last use of these other drugs maybe pot will be easier to kick. Going c/t on everything at once may just be too big a bite, and if we have to use clearly pot is the least harmful, specially when smoked thru a cone, as you call it.
